STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

lily · Nine West

single sex education

lsubatgirl · Gucci

I went to an all girls school for high school and it had its pluses and minuses. I think it helped me in some ways to be more assertive and independent but at the same time that can and has gotten me in trouble (esp with boys). Also my social life kinda sucked but it was more my fault than the school I went to.

Would I do it again (I chose to go there my parents didn't)? Yes. Would I send my kid to a single sex school if it were available? Yes.

What information do you want on it?

-- Edited by lsubatgirl at 22:56, 2005-11-15

rosey · Dooney & Bourke

I went to an all-girls high school and, yes, there are certainly minuses, but, overall, I'm so happy I did. I def. agree with lsubatsgirl about the being "more independent" thing. Maybe I've just been lucky, but the women I've known who have gone to all-girls high school end up being some of the most assertive, accomplished and interesting people I know. Also, while all teenage girls go through some weird periods, I think being in an all-female environment minimizes some of the yucky teen girl stuff (it certainly can maximize others, but not to the same extent). I still talk to some of my close friends from high school (I'm 25 now) and we've all reflected a lot on what we thought the experience meant to us. Not one of us regretted going to all-girls school and all of us, were we to have children, would probably send our daughters to single-sex high school as well.

If you have any specific questions, I'd be happy to answer them!

jen · Kate Spade

Boy, I could write all day on this subject. But here are the main points. Girls score better when they are in all girl classrooms. That is a fact. No sexism going on, they talk more, they are not intimidated to speak in front of the class etc. But then again, what happens when they must interact with men? More than likely they will work with men and having 12 years of education with only girls may prove to be a disadvantage.

rosey · Dooney & Bourke

Jen brings up a good point about girls talking more, differences in the way girls and boys are treated in the classroom, etc. If you want to read more about this, a great book is "Failing At Fairness: How Our Schools Cheat Girls" by Myra and David Sadker. I can honestly say that I don't think my friends nor I have had problems when we later entered co-ed situations- although, in fairness, none of us went to all-girls school our entire lives. For the most part, we only went to single-sex high school (with the exception of one friend who went on to Smith for college). I don't remember the transistion to the "co-ed world," so to speak, being particularly difficult. If anything, I think it made me better equipped.... but again, being in single-sex ed your whole life might change things. I think it also changes dependent on your involvement with other activities outside of school- for instance, if you socialize with boys in other environments and don't just see them as dates, boyfriends, etc., but as friends too, that can change things.

Bastet · Kate Spade

All schools I attended were co-ed, so I have no personal experience with a single-sex education. I don't think that there is anything wrong with single sex education, it's just not something I personally would have chosen for myself or for a daughter, if I had one. I didn't have any issues being assertive in class, etc., and most of my yucky teen moments (teasing, etc) were actually perpetrated by girls rather than boys.

If I had a daughter and she expressed interest in a single-sex middle or high school, I would definitely let her go to one,so long as it wasn't religiously affiliated. But it's not something I would choose for her against her will, because I think it's very important for young women to learn how to deal with the oppositve sex in an acadamic and social setting before they have to in the "real world". Perhaps if she was struggling in class because she was deferring to boys, or because her teachers were sexist. But those circumstances aside, I'd send her to a co-ed school.

lily · Nine West

I was just asking because I go toone in the city, and I was wondering what others thought about it.

cc · Marc Jacobs

lily- do you mean NYC? I went to an all-girls school in Manhattan and I really liked it.

I don't have a particularly strong opinion either way although I think if I ever have kids I might encourage them to go to single sex high schools.

I went to a co-ed neighborhood school for grades 1-8 and definitely started to feel kind of uncomfortable with boys in 7th and 8th grades when a lot of the jerkish guys in my grade started being mean to me. It wasn't horrible but it was enough that when it came time to pick a high school I chose to go to an all-girls school. BTW I'm from the Bronx so the public school options were pretty bad and most of the Catholic and private schools in the area were single sex so I didn't have much choice although there were 2 co-ed schools that my parents were pushing me to attend. I told them I thought I would do better at an all girls school. I LOVED my high school. I'm incredibly shy so I think being in an all-female environment helped me relax and come out of my shell a bit. Plus my parents and I are hard-core about education and I do think not having guys in classes helped me focus more - just one less thing to worry about. My school was blocks away from all boys' schools so I never felt like I was in an isolated environment. I hung out with boys almost every day after school. As for interacting with guys in an academic setting - well I had already spent 8+ years in school with boys (plus the 4 years of college after) and lots of extra-curricular activities are co-ed. I was constantly interacting with and working with boys in science fairs, Model UN, summer internships etc.

lily · Nine West

Yes, NYC

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i went to one in h.s. only and i thought that it was great. i feel like i was more confident to speak up in class, and i didn't act based on what a boy would think. i will say that where i grew up, it was very common for there to be all girls h.s. and all guys h.s. (usually catholic) so i wasn't an outcast for going to an all girls school. we all hung out with one of the six or so all guys h.s. on the weekend, so i did learn how to interact with boys after school and on weekends, my focus was purely on school during the day though.

i think that if i didn't go to an all girls h.s. i wouldn't have been able to concentrate as well and wouldn't have the confidence to run for so many positions in h.s. that probably helped me get into the college that i did.

personally, i would like to send my child to a private (single sex school), but if there was a really good public school nearby, i would definitely STRONGLY consider that as well. hth.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

I don't know anything about single-sex schools, but some of the things others said about them were reminiscent of my very small, very rigorous co-ed private high school, which leads me to wonder how much is due to the absence of testosterone, and how much is due to the fact that private schools very often give better support to their students than public schools--and any all-girls school has to be a private school, by default. My school was really tough and placed extraordinary emphasis on academic excellence, and a climate like that encourages everyone to be outgoing, ask questions, get help, work hard, take leadership roles, etc.

But I may be speaking too much from personal experience. I can easily imagine that for someone who is inherently shy and quiet, it would be a help not to have teenage boys around, hogging attention.

cc · Marc Jacobs

sephorablue - I was going to mention that my school was also extremely small and well regarded in terms of curriculum so that obviously had a big effect on my experience. The co-ed private schools I was considering for high school were all rigorous and one of them was also fairly small so perhaps I would have had an equally good experience elsewhere. It's definitely a really personal thing. I felt like for me I had a few rough years with boys and as much as I wouldn't want to admit it I know if I had gone to a high school with boys I would have been a bit more distracted and would have worried a lot more about things like my appearance which was something that could have been really stressful and annoying considering the fact that I had very little money for clothes, I was regularly up really late doing school work and I had to get up at the crack of dawn to commute on the train. But you're right to point out that it's hard to separate out what's due to going to a good, small private school and what is really related to the single-sex environment.

The other thing about going to an all-girls school which I thought was helpful is that my school had a very strong feminist vibe so we constantly had classes and speakers which focussed on women's issues like health, hardcore sex ed (learing how to use condoms and diaphrams even!), abortion rights, sexual harassment etc. and I think a lot of that would have been difficult if not impossible to discuss in such great depth if there were teenage guys around.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

cc wrote:

my school had a very strong feminist vibe so we constantly had classes and speakers which focussed on women's issues like health, hardcore sex ed (learing how to use condoms and diaphrams even!), abortion rights, sexual harassment etc. and I think a lot of that would have been difficult if not impossible to discuss in such great depth if there were teenage guys around.

LOL--oh my god, can you imagine? I'm giggling just thinking about how absurd it would be. By the way, you went to a Catholic school, right? Or some kind of Christian school? If so, I have to give them extra props for giving you guys intensive sex ed! I wish all high schools took those issues that seriously.

lsubatgirl · Gucci

CC - that cracked me up about the sex ed. I too had a strong feministic presence at my school but not in the religious classes that were held in the Convent!! I had a nun teach me about sex my freshman year and then got to watch birthing videos and abortion videos my junior year (i guess in case learning sex from a nun wasn't enough they'd get us in junior year??). I think they were trying to scare us for the prom that was coming up.

cc · Marc Jacobs

Yep it was a Catholic school but it was technically classified as private so it didn't have to follow the archdiocese guidelines so there was a lot more freedom. We usually had two weeks of sex ed a year - one in bio class and one in religion and there wasn't really any difference in terms of what was covered. Our freshman year religion teacher was a nun and she admitted to counseling and helping girls who were getting abortions. It was pretty shocking. We also constantly had speakers come in to talk about AIDS - I remember one was demonstrating how to use a dental dam and telling us about flavored condoms. And every year during sex ed they had us practice putting a condom on a wooden shaft! They had a plastic model of a woman's reproductive system for the purpose of practice diaphram insertion. Even though sometimes I felt like they went over the top I think it was probably a good idea and I'm sure it helped a lot of girls.

Bastet · Kate Spade

I think sex ed classes like the one cc described are definitely more helpful than what I had at my huge, public, co-ed highschool. We had to get permission from our parents, and even then it was very watered down. I'm sorry but by the time a girl is 15, she has most likely gotten her period... watching a video about getting your period for the first time, and how to use tampons/pads is really not very helpful! We covered the basics about intercourse = pregnancy and the birth process. The classes were 1/2 about menstruation (useless, we all knew about it personally by then!) and 1/2 about prenancy and birth). The areas about stds and birth control weren't very good; we glossed over it all very quickly. But I'm very opinionated about birth control; I think kids should be required to learn about it in sex ed. (But then again, I had a girl opted out of sex ed the day we learned about tampons because her insane mother thought that using tampons made you lose your virginity! So you can see what kind of resistance they got from parents when designing the curriculum.)