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Post Info TOPIC: When someone tells you... they are afraid you are going to cheat on them...


Coach

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When someone tells you... they are afraid you are going to cheat on them...
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Matt, the guy I have been dating for a  little while, busted that out on me last night and it really bugged me. I have never cheated on anyone and just the fact that he told me that he thinks I am probably going to cheat on him when he moves to Seattle upset me. I asked him why he would think that and he said because I am gonna be up there and you are down here. (its 2.5 hours away) I told him I am not that type of person, etc. etc. What do you think this means?? You don't just randiomly say something like that to someone. AHH!

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Hermes

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sometimes guys say this because they are looking for reassurance that you'll be committed to them and not cheat.


sometimes guys say this because it is something they might do... sometimes those who do not trust are the ones who cannot be trusted, because they think if they're capable of doing it, so are you.



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Hermes

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detroit wrote:


sometimes guys say this because they are looking for reassurance that you'll be committed to them and not cheat. sometimes guys say this because it is something they might do... sometimes those who do not trust are the ones who cannot be trusted, because they think if they're capable of doing it, so are you.

I totally agree w/Detroit on this - either he's looking for reassurance that you won't, or he doesn't trust you because he doesn't trust himself not to cheat.  I'm not trying to alarm you at all - not saying he will cheat, but I agree that it was a weird thing to say and you should be careful.

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Gucci

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I had this with the ex and its because he was insecure with himself and almost all of his ex's had cheated on him in the past.  This might be the case with your guy or he is the cheating type like the above posters mentioned.

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Coach

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lsubatgirl wrote:


I had this with the ex and its because he was insecure with himself and almost all of his ex's had cheated on him in the past.  This might be the case with your guy or he is the cheating type like the above posters mentioned.

That's what I thought too when I read your post. He may have had exes who cheated on him in the past and now he's projecting these insecurites onto your relationship.

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Marc Jacobs

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I agree with Detroit. And as far as keeping from being sucked into a mess here... Don't address the cheating issue. Get him to tell you WHY he asked that and what he thinks you're really like. Don't defend yourself. He's going to think what he's going to think. Just let the accusation lie and try to find out what's really bothering him. If he says something like this and you start defending yourself he'll always be able to push that button. Make him take responsibility for what he feels.

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Chanel

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Dizzy wrote:


I agree with Detroit. And as far as keeping from being sucked into a mess here... Don't address the cheating issue. Get him to tell you WHY he asked that and what he thinks you're really like. Don't defend yourself. He's going to think what he's going to think. Just let the accusation lie and try to find out what's really bothering him. If he says something like this and you start defending yourself he'll always be able to push that button. Make him take responsibility for what he feels.


I agree with dizzy. Get to the root of why he asked you. He's either insecure with himself, with y'all's relationship, he could possibly cheat, or something else altogether. It's potentially a good chance to discuss the future of your relationship once he moves away.


Good luck!



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