STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

killa · Dooney & Bourke

Totally embarrassing/personal question

Elle · Hermes

I personally think taking it all off it ridiculous and weird. Why would anyone want to look like an 8 year old girl? And more importantly why would anyones partner want them look like an 8 year old girl?

Now neither of those things may be an issue for you. But for anyone who has ever taken drastic measures down there, you know how bad it itches when it's growing back! Not to mention ingrown hairs (youch!), extensive and time consuming maintenance (especially if you're shaving it all off), and the pain associated with waxing!

I CANNOT wax (terrible reaction), so I just 'shape' by shaving and then trim with an electric trimmer to keep everything under control. Nothing wrong with making things, um, 'easier' for other parties involved .

Don't let this new guy make you embarassed or like you're a weirdo for leaving well enough (mostly) alone. Unless he's only dated porn stars up to this point, I doubt what he says is even true. IMO anyone who would make a comment about something like that in the way he did is doing it for reasons other than normal conversation. Maybe 'bare' is his personal preference - there's nothing wrong with that and had he just said that and asked if that would be something that you'd be comfortable trying that would be a different story. It just sounds to me like he's being a tad manipulative - knowing that he's commenting on something extremely personal and making you self concious about it - and starting out a new relationship with someone who shows manipulative tendencies is never a good thing, but is especially complicated when it comes down to the sexual aspects of it.

Anyway, maybe he's totally clueless about how his comment affected you and it was truely said offhand. Only you can determine that, but if that had been the case I don't think it would have bothered you as much as it has.

Feel absolutely free to PM me if you want to talk more, but feel more comfortable doing so in private . Good luck!

jacL · Coach

Never dated a girl with hair down there?! I do find that hard to believe.

Ok, the only reason I am sharing waaaay too much information is because I don't want you to get yourself in a tizzy and I must support anyone from my home state. I know how it is to be back in the dating game--scary!

I shave. I have done this for over five years now and while I would like to go in to get waxed I have never been able to afford it. Going completely bare was an idea I got from a friend and my BF asked me to try it. I did it for awhile but it made me feel weird, like prepubescent or something. Then I just kept everything short and trimmed, but now I do the Hitler look.

I have to shave twice a week and do not encounter any problems with it. I use a regular razor, I think the ones I have are three-blades. Some people experience in-grown hairs which I imagine are painful and annoying.

Ok, now everyone knows a little too much about me and I am going to go hide in a corner--but I hope I helped you a little bit!

P.S. This may go without saying, but this hair removal is a personal thing and I hope you are dong this because you want to try it, not just because the guy wants you to.

Tati · Chanel

LMonet wrote:

I personally think taking it all off it ridiculous and weird. Why would anyone want to look like an 8 year old girl? And more importantly why would anyones partner want them look like an 8 year old girl?

jen · Kate Spade

Ewww....I think having hair down there is gross!

Everyone I know (in their 20's) shaves it off completely. I think older generations leave some. But I feel better when it's all gone and I think it look good if I do say so myself. lol!

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

I'm from California, land of men with ridiculous expectations, and I have decided to overshare today. Hehe...

1. Shaving: Just say "no" to shaving! Personally, I can't stand the stubble feel. It itches! And no one wants to be itchy down there!

2. Veet bikini hair removal: Easy, painless, and slightly less itchy than shaving. But still itchy when growing back.

3. Waxing: I love waxing. There's some pain involved, but it's totally bearable. And you will love how it feels. I don't get it all removed... I like to leave a strip. Or you can get an "extended bikin" which isn't as extreme as the brazilian, and you can usually leave your underwear on when having it done. Just take a pair of scissors and trim everything else!

Alright, oversharing done for the day.

Tati · Chanel

shoot! what happend to what i posted? its all off! whatever.

I also use an electric shaver and love it (so does the hubby) and i hardly have hair cause i trim it really, really short and shape it :)

no in grown hairs and no itching involved!

killa · Dooney & Bourke

I don't think he means anything by saying what he said. He is just a guy that way and doesn't know how to filter what he says sometimes. We just laughed about it.

The reason why I am researching this is because I sort of have wondered about that area on me for a long time. I never know just what to do with it!

I have always been afraid of removing too much because I didn't want to freak any guys out. But now, duh, I am learning that most guys like it smooth.

I think I am ready to do it, but I just want to do it right. I don't want to have a traumatic experience with shaving it myself and to wax (I am finding) is pretty expensive.

crystal · Kate Spade

I have been shaving and/or waxing since I graduated HS. It all started when I was about to go on a trip to Hawaii & wanted to make sure "nothing" would show, so I went in farther then usual, then more & more til it was all gone! The first few times growing back is a pain, but these days I don't even notice it! Plus, some girls are more sensitive than others.... lucky me I am totally insenstive! Anyways, I have gotten waxed multiple times and ya it hurts, but the pain is worth it... kinda like I imagine giving birth! The only thing stopping me from waxing on a continual basis is the cost. If you've got cajones of steel, you can always try to wax yourself, but lemme tell ya, it is no easy feat! Also, if you wax, the grow back is much lighter/softer,etc. Even now when I don't shave for a few weeks (between boys!) the growth is pretty minimal.

Oh, and the whole never being w/ anyone w/ hair down there, depending on where you live, but I would say it is totally possible. Of course, I'm in LA so we just follow the porn industry for our maintenance needs! Don't let that pressure you though... there has been many a time when I've been caught off guard and been w/ a guy when I wasn't perfectly manicured. I really don't think it's a deal breaker!

blubirde · Chanel

I shave but I don't shave it all. Frankly, it's just too much trouble. I get ingrown hairs (except when I wax) and I find it annoying. I wish I didn't have to shave at all. I'd be fine with just trimming but I suppose that's kind of gross.

I'd get regular waxes if I could afford it. I've used the Nair at-home wax and it works pretty well. The strips are a bit too small for my taste. I find the pain tolerable. Nothing too bad. But I'm pretty tough, so that's something to keep in mind.

I use the Nair hair removal cream every once in awhile too. I would use it more but it takes about 10 minutes of just sitting on there and I usually am in a hurry when I'm jumping in the shower and think shaving will just be faster (it is).

Ugh. Maybe I should try the electric razor approach. What kind do you use Tati? Do you find it gives you as close a shave as a regular razor?

Oh, and I don't think it's weird to shave everything. I know lots of people who do it. I personally don't, because like I said, it's too much trouble. Besides, the boy will want to visit the area, hair or no, so what's the diff? Although I must say, it's a lot cleaner and more sanitary during that time of the month with less hair. (Maybe TMI and a bit gross but true.)

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I have an electric trimmer/shaver, but I dont' shave it all. It's a remington and I got it at Target. There was one I bought three years ago that I liked much better, but they dont' make it anymore. Oh, and this is weird, but it has an attachment that I can use to keep my eyebrows trimmed. There are like, six heads. I don't use them, but hey, if you really want a lot of options... Anyway, once a week I get it in shape, then every morning in the shower I shave the edges. I've never had the guts or the money to wax.

sfclinevandy · Coach

I think your new guy and my new guy must be best friends because they sure think alike

I personally don't like hair so down there so I take it all off. I used to do a combo of shaving an and Nair. But the results didn't last as long and came back itchy. I've since become ADDICTED to Poetic Waxing by Bliss. The first time I used it, it hurt but after that it's not so bad. I'm hair free for a few weeks and the hair that comes back is MUCH thinner and more sparse. I'll never go back to a razer. I also use Tend Skin for ingrown hairs every day so that's not much of an issue.

wicked · Coach

Only do this if you want to and not for your guy. That said, I have been shaving everything for the past 5+ years. I shave 2-3 times a week, I've never had an ingrown hair and it only itches if I use a cheap/generic razor. What blubirde said about cleaner and more sanitary is quite true!

wetbandit42 · Marc Jacobs

I tried some Veet waxing strips, but they did not work. They left wax all over, and were SO painful. I want to get it professionally done, but I'm embarassed.

I usually shave and trim.

Maddie · Coach

I think you should do what you want. I feel like some guys may have a preference, but I've never met any that are too passionate about it. I, like crystal, have been caught off guard and it really didn't matter. Most of my friends (who are in their 20s) trim and shave but most don't take it all off.

I personally do the Hitler style thing myself with a razor. I'm terrified of the pain of waxing, not to mention being poor. The full shave is a little porn star with me, and the type of guy I end up with I think is a little freaked out by it (I date NERDS). But not to mention just looking nice, I find less hair equals heightened sensations.

To hijack the thread, a few questions for the other ladies....

How often do you shave? I get stubble so fast, but if I shave two days in a row I defintely get razor burn and it's a pain in the ass.

How do electrc razors and stuff like Nair compare to shaving? To be blunt, I'm afraid of putting chemicals strong enough to burn off hair near my vagina. And I've never used an electric razor for anything.

Alikat · Kate Spade

I have an electric razor that I trim with - and I really like it.

I've waxed in the past - but it gets so expensive. I've thought about trying waxing myself... but it goes back to the fact that I'm far too lazy and dating a guy who could care less.

Karina · Chanel

i shave, and leave a landing strip

small fry · Chanel

well I guess I will add myself to this post, yes i shave and have no promblems with it. I go bare all the way.I have been doing if for a long time I use a good cream and razor I shave every other day to keep it from getting to thick. It has become second nature just like my legs and if I go a few days and it gets stubbly(spelling) well it feels awful to me. Well this post was intersting, to see all the ladies who do shave. I know Iam werid but I always wondered how many did and was to shy to post this.

Bluebridie wrote: cleaner and more sanitary during that time of the month with less hair. (Maybe TMI and a bit gross but true.)-- I agree with this

But on another note Killa do what ever you are comfortable with that is the most imporant thing.

-- Edited by kaykay at 09:20, 2005-11-11

cat · Marc Jacobs

I nair.It works great no iching or ingrown hairs.I just leave a patch of hair on the very front of it.It's just more comfortable for me that way.Anyway just do whatever you comfortable with.

daiz519 · Dooney & Bourke

I wax, leaving a landing strip, and use a bikini electric shaver to trim the strip :)

I love the results of waxing, the first time hurts like a b*tch but after that, the hairs come back fine and not as much. The first time I decided to wax, my esthetician told me to take a couple advil like an hour before coming in. That helped a lot--with pain and with redness/swelling. I make sure that my esthetician uses wax for sensitive skin.

My ex once asked me to get a brazilian--I told him if he did it, I'd do it. Well, he had no desire to do it himself which is exactly what I was expecting and so I was off the hook. Not that I'd do it just to please my guy--I'd only do something like that if I wanted it. Plus, hair is there for a reason.