STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

DC Shopper · Dooney & Bourke

long eBay vent - am i crazy?

Cricket · Gucci

RE: long vent - am i crazy?

laken1 · Hermes

As my husband always says - you make the mistake of assuming everyone is at least as intelligent as you & does things the way you would. So true!

You didn't do anything wrong & I didn't think that was nasty. At least you got your money! That's good news!

kenzie · Chanel

What a fruitcake! You didn't do anything wrong. That chick has issues.

NCshopper · Hermes

You're not crazy. She's a weirdo. Who doesn't have a checking account? What does one do with their money if they don't have a checking account, put it under a mattress???

nunzi182 · Kate Spade

RE: long eBay vent - am i crazy?

DC Shopper · Dooney & Bourke

Thank you! I didn't think I was being mean but she was so huffy that I doubted myself for a milisecond.

Second question: what should I do - should I ignore her petty remark, or should I write back something like, "I'm sorry this upset you, however it is my right as a seller to dictate the terms of sale. In my last email, however, I did say I would have accepted your money order. Hope you like the pants." AND...what kind of feedback should I leave her? Good or neutral? I'd like to mention her pissiness so other sellers can be warned. Or should I just let it go already?

Nunzi - I KNEW IT!! Just kidding. I don't think it was anyone on here, but it does make me wonder - I don't want to burn any bridges here if something goes wrong or there's a mishap with an Ebay listing here, though, y'know?

-- Edited by DC Shopper at 11:50, 2005-10-27

blink · Coach

There are plenty of people out there who don't have checking accounts, for various reasons, maybe she is young, maybe she is in a transition. I never even bothered with one until I was 21 because I waited tables and always had cash but I didn't make enough to save over $500 at a time. I used money orders to pay my rent and bills or I just gave my roommate the cash and she would write the check for the bills. It was actually a much simpler time that I miss sometimes.

Also, I agree with you obviously, that she should have read the payment instructions. But she tried to work with you and acknowledged her mistake I think your response to her was a little long, basically your answer was "yes," totally no need to say "no one is angry," isn't that pretty irrelevant? I agree that her last statement sounds quite pathethic, but it was her choice to use her friend's card or whatever, now she's using a victim's tone, so just ignore her and move on. You should be happy she broke down and used Paypal, she could have easily just said forget the whole thing, unless she was worried about her ebay user score or just really wanted those jeans, since she made the mistake.

laken1 · Hermes

As far as feedback, you can surely expect whatever you give her. I had a bad situation with a buyer - I disclosed that a bed skirt I was selling with some shams had some staining on one side but she didn't read the listing until it was over so she didn't see it?? Who in the world does that? Anyway, she was really ugly about it & I put off giving her feedback forever. She did pay for it, but I wanted to with hold my feedback until she left it for me. She ended up giving me positive feedback after 6 months! but just put a period or dash or something in the comments. Oh well. I would let it go. I would send her that email though.

And you ladies would be AMAZED at the number of people without a checking acct - having worked at a bank i have seen it all. If you bounce checks & don't pay them, banks will shut down your account. There is a system where these are reported much like a credit report so unless you pay those checks & fees related, you can't open an account at other banks either. There is a whole check cashing industry that feeds on this & charges ridiculous fees. It's quite a racket, but also very high risk, as you can imagine. I have to assume that if you don't have the money to pay those checks, you can't have much $$ so I imagine where to keep what you do have isn't that big of a problem.

carmenb513 · Coach

The same exact thing happened to me.A girl one the auction and a couple of days later she sent an email saying that she didn't have paypal and could she send a money order (it says I only accept paypal) I told her yes because I didn't feel relisting. Tweo hgors later she paid w/ paypal. Go figure.

She did leave prompt positive feedback though, and I did the same in return.

bumblebee · Coach

i just "sold" a pair of shoes to someone who never paid for them and never responded to any of my polite e-mails and requests for payment. the 7-day moratorium is up today, so i'm going to report her as a "non-paying bidder" and relist the shoes. some people just act like idiots and don't consider that their behavior has an effect on others.

atlgirl · Gucci

I would ignore her remark at this point. It was petty, but she paid - you got your money and don't have to relist the jeans. In a month's time you probably won't even think about this auction, so ignore her and move on. JMO

laken1 · Hermes

bumblebee wrote:

i just "sold" a pair of shoes to someone who never paid for them and never responded to any of my polite e-mails and requests for payment. the 7-day moratorium is up today, so i'm going to report her as a "non-paying bidder" and relist the shoes. some people just act like idiots and don't consider that their behavior has an effect on others.

Did you have any other bidders? After you report her, you can offer it as a "second chance" offer to the next highest bidder - i've done that before & it worked out well - didn't have to wait & they were happy to get it because they thought they had lost the auction - just an idea.

DC Shopper · Dooney & Bourke

lorelei wrote:

Also, I agree with you obviously, that she should have read the payment instructions. But she tried to work with you and acknowledged her mistake I think your response to her was a little long, basically your answer was "yes," totally no need to say "no one is angry," isn't that pretty irrelevant? I agree that her last statement sounds quite pathethic, but it was her choice to use her friend's card or whatever, now she's using a victim's tone, so just ignore her and move on. You should be happy she broke down and used Paypal, she could have easily just said forget the whole thing, unless she was worried about her ebay user score or just really wanted those jeans, since she made the mistake.

Just to clarify, she initially responded with "i'm not trying to make anyone angry" which came out of nowhere...which is why i responded that i wasn't angry. I *guess* she tried to work with me by emailing me, but basically she just wanted to pay with a money order and I hate money orders. It wasn't so much that she made a mistake, but that she was nasty about it that bothers me. But, eh, I'm just going to let it go this time. When I originally posted I was just steamed b/c it had just happened, but it's really not worth leaving neg feedback. This kind of thing just happens all the time to me - to the point where I don't think I'm going to use eBay after I list my next batch of stuff.

bumblebee · Coach

laken1 wrote:

bumblebee wrote: i just "sold" a pair of shoes to someone who never paid for them and never responded to any of my polite e-mails and requests for payment. the 7-day moratorium is up today, so i'm going to report her as a "non-paying bidder" and relist the shoes. some people just act like idiots and don't consider that their behavior has an effect on others. Did you have any other bidders? After you report her, you can offer it as a "second chance" offer to the next highest bidder - i've done that before & it worked out well - didn't have to wait & they were happy to get it because they thought they had lost the auction - just an idea.

how long do i have to wait before i do that? i just opened the "non-payment dispute" thing on ebay and there was something about 7 days for the non-paying bidder to pay me. she has never responded once to any communication. can i go ahead and do a second chance offer right away? i'd rather not deal with this first bidder's nonsense at all.

Deuce · Dooney & Bourke

I do not generally like to lie but sometimes I will make and exception for the reverse gulit trip factor. I would e mail her and thank her for her compromise, and you are either a) disabled and not able to get around so well anymore since the accident or b) do not have a vehicle since the fire and that is why you have to sell you clothes to get another car so you can go back to work before you loose you home as well.

I realize that this is bad but sometimes when poeple are trying to make me feel bad because it makes them feel better I like to teach them a lesson.

Cortney1982 · Chanel

This has happened to me as well. I'm sure these people know good well in advance that these are Paypal only auctions but bid anyways assuming the seller would rather take the money order than deal with relisting. When I list auctions, I choose the option to block bidders without a paypal account. I haven't had trouble since, everybody pays for their stuff.

I would just leave what has been said at that so it doesn't progress! Do not leave feedback unless she leaves feedback. If she leaves a neg or neautral feedback, neg her back. Positive feedback, give her neautral feedback since her comment was so uncalled for!

kahluamilk · Dooney & Bourke

teeheeehee ... kinda wrong but it would be funny to mess w/ her to see what her crazy self will say!

Deuce wrote:

I would e mail her and thank her for her compromise, and you are either a) disabled and not able to get around so well anymore since the accident or b) do not have a vehicle since the fire and that is why you have to sell you clothes to get another car so you can go back to work before you loose you home as well. I realize that this is bad but sometimes when poeple are trying to make me feel bad because it makes them feel better I like to teach them a lesson.