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dot · Marc Jacobs

Help need present for bf's sister (don't really like her)

laken1 · Hermes

Do you know how she decorates for Christmas? Can you bring her a few pretty ornaments or something? I swear - I don't think I'd really try anymore if I were you - she sounds horrid.

nicoley · Coach

My exboyfriend is from england and I always got his family gifts, but they were super super nice, so this may be a bit different, but i always tried to buy them unique items from america that they couldn't get in england, one year i got them a 9/11 xmas ornament, and they absolutely loved it, although they are obsessed with NY etc... I just recently sent them over some Philosophy products as I dont think they have it over there, and another year I bought them tiffany pens or some sort of tiffany thing, again not very apparent over there, and i think i got them a Coach thing, nothing big, just a keychain or wallet or something, hope that helps. Its hard to buy something for someone like you described.

sage · Dooney & Bourke

My question is , do you really HAVE to get her a gift?? Send something for the children. That will show you are thinking of their family.

atlgirl · Gucci

Get her anything, and don't worry about it. I know that sounds harsh, but my SIL in CA is the same way - my parents get lovely gifts from her, but for us...it's quite obvious that she doesn't care about our tastes, or getting any kind of gift that's suited to us. Me, my bro & SIL have a lot of money (even if we didn't know that, she rubs it in at every opportunity about how they're millionaires - not on paper, but that they "have a million in the bank" (because people who only have it on paper aren't truly millionaires, how she "doesn't stay in a resort that is less than $200 a night" when they travel, etc. etc. Bleah.

She buys for us at places like Cost Plus (not that there's anything wrong with CP, but she gets some of the really junky stuff) and she's left the $3.99 tag on - just to name one example.

We very much get the feeling that she sends something because she feels obligated, but doesn't put any thought into what she sends us. And we used to do what you did, Dot - send really nice gifts, I'd talk to my bro about her tastes and what she likes...but now we just don't bother. We send stuff and at this point I don't care if she re-gifts it or throws it away. And I have to say that I stress a lot less over her birthday and holidays now that I am not emotionally invested in giving her gifts.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

I would honestly probably just say screw it and not get her anything. But what if you donated money somewhere in her name? Or did one of those "sponsor a yak" things- that way you can feel good about geeting her something (and helping some other people) but you kind of didn't *really* get her anything.

tri_sarah_tops · Marc Jacobs

sage wrote:

My question is , do you really HAVE to get her a gift?? Send something for the children. That will show you are thinking of their family.

I agree with this. I wouldn't even bother with her, just send something for the kids.

Cricket · Gucci

Flaming bag of poo? Ornaments are a good idea. Nothing is a good idea too. Just don't go out of your way for her.

Bastet · Kate Spade

Another vote for just getting something for the kids. She sounds completely ungrateful. Why waste your effort on someone who clearly doesn't appreciate the gift or the thought you put into picking them out?

asf · Kate Spade

how about this?

it's a reindeer that poops out jelly beans.

ejc423 · Coach

ILoveChoo wrote:

But what if you donated money somewhere in her name? Or did one of those "sponsor a yak" things- that way you can feel good about geeting her something (and helping some other people) but you kind of didn't *really* get her anything.

I love this idea. This way your money will not go to waste. Someone will be getting something useful. . .

poptart · Coach

I agree with the other girls that she sounds awful, but I also think you are right to continue to try to get her nice things. It is a sign of respect for your brother and his decisions. Plus, karma!

So I just have a few suggestions - she does sound tough. What about a book? If you don't know her taste in literature, maybe a pictorial of somewhere that they went on a trip recently, or somewhere near where they live where they might want to go? If they drink wine, could you check into a wine of the month club delivery? I know music is pretty expensive in Europe, so maybe pick out a CD or two and then also send along an Amazon gift card? (I'm assuming Amazon will ship anywhere.) And this probably won't help you now, but maybe for future gifts, try to get her a knick-knack/souvenir when you go on a trip; I always think that's very thoughtful when someone gives me a Christmas gift that they'd found months ago on a trip. ??

I also think the ornament idea is a good one.

ayo · Coach

I almost choked when I read this *LOL*!!!! asf you are nuts!

asf wrote:

how about this? it's a reindeer that poops out jelly beans.

bumblebee · Coach

how about something food-related--then it can be for the whole family. does she drink coffee or tea? a big cool basket of stuff from dean & deluca would be nice, bazzini's nuts, candy, stuff that wouldn't be readily avilable in europe. i think the thing to do here is to move slowly away from the more personal gifts with her because she obviously doesn't appreciate or reciprocate, and go more towards generic (but still nice) gifts.

i think lisa is right--continue taking the high road. you would feel terrible about yourself if you started playing her crappy game. it's just not you.

**one more thought--there's a place in maine i've ordered from before that makes beautiful real pine wreaths, and they fedex anywhere. i've sent them to people out of state before and it's always really appreciated. let me know if you want the number.

-- Edited by bumblebee at 13:05, 2005-10-27

Tati · Chanel

sage wrote:

My question is , do you really HAVE to get her a gift?? Send something for the children. That will show you are thinking of their family.

ditto!

Elle · Hermes

Send that nasty girl a big box of extra-fattening chocolates

.

MissMee · Kate Spade

How about one of those hideous statues of the guy-in-a-barrel whose weenie pops out when you pull up the barrel? Tastless AND funny!

Seriously, I absolutely love Witch Balls (not as tacky as it sounds). I never heard of them until I moved to New England, but they are beautiful blown glass orbs w/ glass webbing inside. They were used in colonial days to ward off witches when you hung them in your window. The witches would get caught in the webbing and be captured in the glass forever. It's a very pretty gift, but you could be giving it with the underlying premise that you think she's a horrid witch!

An example of one:

-- Edited by MissMee at 14:26, 2005-10-27

sage · Dooney & Bourke

I have a witch ball. I love it. There is a store near me that sells them along with blown glass fish. So pretty.

Cortney1982 · Chanel

You can get this for her husband:

Stock photo

dot · Marc Jacobs

Thanks everyone for all your posts! I can't tell you how nice it feels to know that others can sympathize with this situation (and.. nice to know that you guys think she's mean too! hehee

) Thank you Thank you!

Everyone has really great suggestions... Oh how I would love send her poo but I don't think that would clear customs!

Lisa I love the idea of a CD, but I have no idea what kind of music she likes. I think I'm definitely going to do a generalized thing. Laken thank you for suggesting Xmas! I would have never thought of that but I think ornaments is something that I would enjoy buying and that I would feel okay giving. bumblebee I think I will definitely stop at Dean and Deluca this weekend and pick up some yummy teas or something.

asf, missmee and cortney I wish I had the cajones! As much as I would really like to sock-it-to-her and give her a taste of her own medicine, it's definitely a battle I would lose! I don't know who supplies her with all this ugly stuff but I swear it never ends!.. and the variety! She's the master of the tacky present. I have heard it's been a skill that she's been working on for years.