STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

rosie_the_riveter · Gucci

has anyone ever

small fry · Chanel

first of all let me say you can talk @ any of those feelings you need to here with us. Iam sorry you are feeling this way, i have been depressed and it is not a happy thing, i went to counseling and that helped me, there i was able to talk @ the things that was all buried deep inside most of all from my previous marriage and his death. I had a miscarriage a long time even though i was only 6 weeks a long, I found out and and i was thrilled to death and than two weeks later i miscarried, i was crushed.Have you talked to your husband @ your feelings? or is he not easy to talk to? this may help but if you need to get counseling and try some anti depression medcine dont be afraid to they help your heal i know it helped me when i was able to talk @ things and realized i could not change alot of my past and i did the best i could at the time. Remember we are all here for you and if you need to talk we will listen and lend a ear, hug and a shoulder to cry on! you can p-m if you need to

alb · Marc Jacobs

I'm so sorry to hear that, Rosie. You are not alone and please don't be embarrassed to write about your feelings here. I'm sure many of us @ ST have struggled with depression. I know I have, especially after my miscarriage a few yrs ago. It's easy to blame yourself after miscarrying, but the ppl who told you that it wasn't your fault are professionals and they are correct. I think like 20% of all pregnant women miscarry. I know it is still very hard to deal with though, and it sounds like you have had some serious traumatic events that you need to work out through counseling adn with medication. I've taken antidepressants before and they really do help, so I definitely recommend that you see a professional right away. I hope you feel better soon, sweety!! Hugs!

laken1 · Hermes

Please don't be embarrassed! I think we all go through bouts of this in our lives. I have never been so depressed that I sought out medication, but in hind sight I probably should have. When I was laid off & moved away from my family / friends I went through several months of literally never leaving the house unless I went to the grocery store. I didn't want to do ANYTHING, get out in the sunshine, get dressed, even take a shower (tmi, but true). I had to drag myself off the couch / out the bed to do anything.

I also had a roommate who is one of my BFF & she used to do the same thing - come home from work & go straight to sleep. She got on medication & helped her 100%. She has gotten off the meds in the meantime, but I think sometimes it is just situational.

I really don't know know what to tell you other than to let you know you aren't alone. And you shouldn't be embarrassed to ask for help. There is no shame in that! Go talk to someone, tell them how you feel. I wish I could give you a great big hug!

HeatherLynn · Gucci

You have a PM.

MissMee · Kate Spade

You're totally not alone! I began taking Zoloft after my third baby was born. I think I've been depressed for years, actually, but I've always been too embarrassed to go to the doctor about it. Kind of like admitting you're weak, you know? And I am totally not one to either admit a weakness or to turn to meds as a solution. However, it was just getting so bad. I did what you mentioned - stayed in bed and was always on the verge of crying. I finally told my doctor that I just completely hated my family at times. I started on a low dosage (25 mg) but then had it all the way up to 100mg. The 100 mg worked, but one day it just stopped and I totally crashed into what I can only describe as being in a black cloud. I did the worst thing possible - quit cold turkey. It was horrible, but stubborn me was convinced I was just overreacting and would just get over it. Needless to say, I started it again a few months ago at a 50mg dose. I still have off days, but it's more helpful than not. It does, however, really affect your sex drive (sorry for TMI).

Men just don't understand. They are programmed to "be a man" and to just deal with their emotions like a robot. Therefore, they think we should be able to do the same. There wasn't anything you could do to prevent feeling depressed, but all the things you mentioned have probably compounded it. I can completely relate! But DON'T FEEL BAD OR EMBARRASSED around us or your close friends. Real friends will be supportive and non-judgemental!!!!!

-- Edited by MissMee at 10:54, 2005-10-24

atlgirl · Gucci

I have struggled off and on with depression (more on than off, unfortunately) since I was 12. I won't do meds (but that's a personal choice; if meds work for others, that's great) but I have seen counselors from time to time as I felt necessary - both when I was single and when I was in relationships. Sometimes just being able to talk to a neutral person and get some unbiased insights is very helpful.

Learning to 'not sweat the small stuff' - you mentioned not being able to let things go - can be very helpful. I am much happier overall now that I've learned, with time and practice, to get past things that do nothing but hold me down. I don't hold grudges often, like I used to; I just let most things roll off my back. It's not easy sometimes, but with lots of practice, I've become pretty good at it. I like to now look forward, instead of looking back.

The incident when you were 13 sounds like much more than "small stuff" though, and maybe counseling would be helpful for that. Once I got married, and realized that some of my depressive behavior / moods was affecting my husband as well as myself, I was really motivated to make some more changes. I didn't want to hurt or upset him more than necessary.

Thanks for sharing with us. You know you can always come here and get support.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

You are so not alone - and you are NOT being whiny! When's your next doctor's appointment? He or she should be able to tell you how to get started takign care of this. There is absolutely no way to overcome brain chemistry on your own - it's like trying to walk off a broken leg. It might go away on its own eventually, but why suffer in the meantime? You take care of yourself, sweetie...

blubirde · Chanel

I agree with the other women, you're not alone and you're not whiny - AT ALL. Depression happens to all kinds of people and it's not a pretty thing to have to go through. Talking to a therapist and possibly getting on some kind of medication (although I really think talking to a professional is a really positive first step) can help.

Please don't be embarassed. We've probably all had bouts of depression, whether situational or chemical. It's hard but the most important thing is to talk about it. You can do it. We're all here for you. Talk away.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

you are absolutely not alone, and you are ABSOLUTELY not being whiny. I agree with the other ladies that it's really important for you to see a doctor as soon as you can, so you can start getting help figuring out ways to make yourself feel better, whether that includes medication or not. Counseling could be a great help to you in dealing with the incident you mentioned. Something this serious is way more than a mood swing... please, please don't feel embarrassed.

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

You are so not alone and I am glad that you aren’t keeping it inside, that is the worst. It does suck so bad to be somewhere you don’t like and you miss your family. You have been through some pretty serious stuff and I admire your strength. I have been through the “I can’t get out of bed, or do anything” symptoms after I went through some really stressful stuff too. I had a really hard time falling asleep, but once asleep I couldn’t wake up. I couldn’t concentrate on anything for longer than about 15 minutes and I wasn’t eating much. I also had the lonely, don’t want to talk to anyone or burden anyone with my problems. I also felt sad all the time, crying several times a day for no reason.

I talked to some people including my sister who is a psychiatrist. She asked me a checklist of things to determine for her and myself that I was depressed. She encouraged me to see a counselor and maybe even get some meds.

I went to a counselor primarily to get the meds and of course had a really bad experience with the counselor which TOTALLY turned me off from going to a counselor. I went through a number of different meds, none of which really did much for me. My sis said that the most common problem isn’t that the med doesn’t work, it is that the dr. doesn’t give you a high enough dose (something to keep in mind if the first round doesn’t work for you). Though most of the symptoms went away, there are still some lingering ones that I couldn’t seem to shake.

I did stop taking the meds, cold turkey, just like Missmee and the side effects were HORRIBLE. I got throbbing headaches and everything just seemed hazy. I don’t feel any worse than I did on the meds, but I am still having problems falling asleep and waking up.

Ok, back to the subject, I think that even though you don’t want to annoy anyone with your feelings, if they truly care about you, then they *should* be concerned NOT annoyed. Even though some of them don’t understand (the ones who always say, “think happy thoughts” yeah, you know the type) it would be better to let those important to you know what is going on. And like others have already said, it is a biological thing and there is nothing that you could have done to prevent this, all you can do it deal with it. Going to a dr. is the first step and for me the hardest bc it is the admittance that there is something wrong (as if that wasn’t apparent). The sooner you do it, the better bc the more that you put it off is just prolonging the pain.

And there is nothing to be embarassed about, like 1 in 5 people have depression (sorry I don't know the exact stat).

I hope that this all gets better soon. If you want to talk more about it, you can pm me.

rosie_the_riveter · Gucci

Wanted to thank everyone that posted and sent me pm's. With you guys as a support system I know that I can work up the nerve to see the Dr. I feel less lonely knowing that you guys are here now. I'll keep you guys posted.

-Cindy