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alb


Marc Jacobs

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no gifts please
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Is it rude or in poor taste to write this on a small piece of paper and put it in an invite for a child's baptism?  We are about to send out invitations for a baptism and luncheon for our 4 month old girl.  We are inviting friends as well as family, and many (if not all) of the guests have already given us a nice gift.  We don't want anyone to feel obligated to get our child another gift, we just want them to come to the event.  On the other hand, my husband's extended family is profoundly into their Roman Catholic heritage (not that that's a bad thing, don't want to offend anyone) and they like to give lots of religious trinkets (read: tacky) to the children in the family when they're little, presumably at events like these.  I don't want to offend them by doing this (and believe me, my inlaws love to find things to gripe about), or be heartless if they want to give something sentimental, but we really don't want any more gifts.  We want to just do this b/c we assume that if they really want to bring a gift then they will anyway.  Any opinions/thoughts?  TIA.  

-- Edited by alb at 15:13, 2005-10-07

-- Edited by alb at 15:14, 2005-10-07

-- Edited by alb at 15:15, 2005-10-07

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MissMee


Kate Spade

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RE: "no gifts please"
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I think it would be better as "gifts are not expected" because you know people are still going to bring them anyway.  Check www.emilypost.com on specific etiquette on this subject.

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Andrea Julia


Coach

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RE: no gifts please
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What if you have the gifts redirected to a charity and say something like in lieu of gifts, please make a donation to the so and so foundation in baby's name?  I think if you say no gifts please, everyone will still bring gifts.

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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maybe put "your presence is our present" and hope people get the hint.

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Cortney1982


Chanel

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esquiress wrote:

maybe put "your presence is our present" and hope people get the hint.
I like this option, or I wouldn't say anything at all.  If I was to receive an invitation that said no gifts, (and even gifts!) or donate to this or that in our name, I would slightly be offended.  Saying no gift almost implies that you don't want any of the junk they may give you.  Saying to donate may make you feel you didn't earn your invite if you didn't donate.

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laken1


Hermes

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Cortney1982 wrote:
If I was to receive an invitation that said no gifts, (and even gifts!) or donate to this or that in our name, I would slightly be offended.  Saying no gift almost implies that you don't want any of the junk they may give you.


I disagree. If I got an invitation like this, I would assume that you have received plenty of gifts, you want me to be at a special event for your child & you don't expect me to bring a present. Personally I'd be somewhat relieved. Especially if I had already brought a present because really, I wouldn't know what to bring (especially if the family does special religious things like rosaries, bibles, etc) - I hate to bring a duplicate but that is the appropriate gift for such an occassion. For me, I prefer to pick up things for the kids in my family as I see them & give them to them on a normal day. Such as - "oh, i saw this cutest little sweater & immediately thought of talia" instead of having to rack my brain for something. If that makes sense at all! And i agree that even if you do this, some people may still buy something, but I think that is not ok either!

Bottom line, it's your child's event, i think you should be able to do what you want.

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Deuce


Dooney & Bourke

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My mom just called and she told me about a wedding she just went to. she said it was no gifts. This made me think of you, so I asked her what she thought of that. She said she still bought them some chocolates but that she thought it was actually nice of them because they didn't need it so why make her spend $. She actually was more upset when a friend of the family was getting married and registered only at expensive places with no small items.


I would not be offended. Maybe add an adendem the certian family members maiking a few allowances gracefully to make them happy.



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ejc423


Coach

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Haha I have no advice, but I just had to tell you I dreamt about this last night!


My friends and I were throwing a shower or something and one friend decided to do the invitations.  This killed me because invitations is like, my "thing".  I love to make them.  Well she just bought some patterned paper and wrote on them with a silver paint pen:


Come to our party.


Gifts are okay.


I was SO upset!  I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I was NOT going to let her send out invitations asking for gifts!



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Cricket


Gucci

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I like esquire's idea, but I would not be offended if the invite said "no gifts please".  I would probably still bring something small like cookies or a plant, though.

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alb


Marc Jacobs

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Thanks everyone for chiming in with your thoughts.  After reading some of your posts I actually feel better about the "no gifts please."  I think I may add Esquiress' suggested phrase after it though, to make it sound a little more lighthearted.  Thanks again, everyone!

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