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Post Info TOPIC: etiquette question


Hermes

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One of my co-workers had a miscarriage a few weeks ago. She was (I believe) about 5 months pregnant. She went into early labor, and the baby died.  She was gone from school for a few weeks, and is back now. I learned all of this from our (mutual) students, since she told them what happened. She is an acquaintance, but not really a friend (I didn't even know she was pregnant), but I have always had a sort of kinship with her, because we started teaching about the same time and got married around the same time. 


What's the appropriate response here? I was going to send her a sympathy card, but is that too presumptuous, since she didn't tell me herself what happened? Should I just keep everything to myself? I am trying to think about what I would want in this situation, but I really have no idea.


Thoughts?



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Gucci

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Oh, how sad.  I would send her a sympathy card.  If she told her students, she has to expect it has gotten around the school by now.  I'm sure it would mean a lot to her. 

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Chanel

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I think it would be more awkward if you didn't say anything.  I would let her know you heard what happened and that you are sorry for her loss.



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Chanel

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Cricket wrote:


Oh, how sad.  I would send her a sympathy card.  If she told her students, she has to expect it has gotten around the school by now.  I'm sure it would mean a lot to her. 

I totally agree w/Cricket, get her a card

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Marc Jacobs

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Cricket wrote:


Oh, how sad.  I would send her a sympathy card.  If she told her students, she has to expect it has gotten around the school by now.  I'm sure it would mean a lot to her. 

I agree with this.  It's not really a secret since she was telling students.  I'm sure she'll appreciate your thoughts. 

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Hermes

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I agree, send a card.  Since she told her students, it's not like she's trying to keep it a secret, so I think it would be okay to send a card.    How sad for her...

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Marc Jacobs

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Drawing from personal experience here....(i had to have a d+c for an ectopic pregnancy last summer) a card is a lovely thing...my only warning is to make it personal and kind...don't just sign your name.


I know the cards I like the least are ones with just a signature scrawled in them.


 



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Marc Jacobs

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wow--I cannot imagine how heartbreaking that experience must have been.  I've had a miscarriage and D&C also, and it was really hard for me, but I cannot imagine giving birth to a stillborn baby (or one that died shortly after birth).  I would definitely send a card, and do make it personal as Leah suggested (I'm sure you would anyway).     

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Hermes

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leah_leanna wrote:


Drawing from personal experience here....(i had to have a d+c for an ectopic pregnancy last summer) a card is a lovely thing...my only warning is to make it personal and kind...don't just sign your name. I know the cards I like the least are ones with just a signature scrawled in them.  

leah_leanna...I am so sorry this happened to you. Out of curiosity, what would you say on the card?

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