STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

cat · Marc Jacobs

Help!!!Paranoid or a real problem?

sage · Dooney & Bourke

Bumping in to him once might not mean stalking, but more and you may have to take some action, like notifying authorities, or at least campus security to voice your concerns. Lock your car doors, whether you are in the car or out of it, and don't walk anywhere alone that is deserted and/or dark. These are not paranoid things, just common sense!!

laken1 · Hermes

I am a firm believer in that if you feel that it's creepy, it's creepy. You know him better than anyone and running into him once isn't a great big deal, but I think you'll know very quickly if he did this on purpose. Be safe, and I agree with sage, if you feel like he is being inappropriate, let campus security or the cops know.

We are given women's intuition for a reason - there is scientific evidence of women who didn't listen to themselves that in hindsight say "i knew that was weird but...." fill in the blank - i didn't want to be rude, i thought i was over reacting, whatever. I read a book on it & it was bizarre & true. Listen to your instincts & take care of you (did i just sound like that hooker in pretty woman?).

PS - the name of that book is The Gift of Fear - I really do recommend it for any woman - it gets boring at times with science stuff, but I was intrigued

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0440226198/002-9327425-6809647?v=glance

-- Edited by laken1 at 21:02, 2005-09-20

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

yeah, it strikes me as really strange that he wouldn't just get a job tutoring at HIS college, which would be the logical thing to do. This does seem pretty weird.

NCshopper · Hermes

laken1 wrote:

I am a firm believer in that if you feel that it's creepy, it's creepy.

I agree 100%. Only you know the whole situation. You know the terms of your breakup best, and you know his personality really well at this point too, so your gut instinct is the best way to judge the situation.

Laken1 is totally right about women's intuition: if you thought it was creepy, then there was something wrong. You may not be able to pinpoint it at the time, but if you got the creeps, something was telling you either conciously or unconciously that something isn't right.

I've read a book similar to the one Laken talks about (or the same book for that matter and can't remember the name) and I highly suggest it as well. Also, regardless of this whole boyfriend situation, I highly recommend taking a class on personal security, especially while you're in college. My college offered a class called RAD (Rape Aggression Defense) and even gave credit for the class. It taught you how to get out of sticky situations, how to avoid the sticky situations in the first place, and more than anything, made me feel empowered so I knew if I did get into a bad situation, I could get myself out of it alive.

If you do feel like you got the creepy vibe from him, notify authorities first and foremost. They should be able to help you take appropriate steps after that.

Hope this helps! Keep us updated on the situation.