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janey831


Kate Spade

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date tomorrow
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I am going on a date tomorrow...except we didnt meet in the most normal of circumstances, he is the bartender and i left my number on a cocktail napkin next to the tip that my friends and i left him. I am not in any way such a forward person, I really don't know what came over me, but I am freaking out. I forgot how to date, and havent really done so since the big breakup! help! it also doesnt help that the way in which we met was just so out of the ordinary for me......ahhhhhhhhh

-- Edited by janey831 at 23:07, 2005-09-18

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blubirde


Chanel

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Where are you going? Don't freak out - I think it's a cool story.


The one thing to keep in mind when dating is that it's supposed to be fun! Oh and relax. So that's two things. Just be your natural self (trust me - any date where I've tried to be something else have ended disasterously) and he'll love you. And even if he doesn't love you, if you're relaxed and natural, you'll probably have a good time.


Isn't it crazy how a normally sane person can turn into a basket case on the flip of a dime, all over a date? Just remember: he has to impress YOU, not the other way around. It helps!!


Keep us posted!



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lsubatgirl


Gucci

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Oh how exciting!  Where are you going?  What are you wearing??


I am with you on this whole dating thing!  After 5 years I'm single again and was telling blubirdie I have no clue what the heck to do!!  I say be yourself and have a few drinks and you should be fine.   That has worked for me so far.



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janey831


Kate Spade

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oh my gosh....i think i've been stood up!!

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NCshopper


Hermes

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what?!?!?!  what happened???



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lsubatgirl


Gucci

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Oh no!!  so not cool on his part.

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Kel


Coach

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oh no what happened?

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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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janey831 wrote:

oh my gosh....i think i've been stood up!!
Well... I'm on the edge of my seat!! What happened?!

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-jocey-
Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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This has been happening to me lately - and by guys who really aren't anything too great. In fact, I think it's an insecurity thing. Because the more likely the guy is to know that he probably doesn't have areal shot, the more likely he is not to show up, in my experience. Which feels worse, b/c hey, he had a little bit of a chance and chose not to use it. But it's sort of undestandable. He's just an asshole - Do something nice for yourself and pity his sad little soul...

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gypsyfreak


Coach

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janey831- I hope you're doing okay?! I'd also like to know what happened.

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janey831


Kate Spade

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RE: date tomorrow UPDATE!!!
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ok, so he was supposed to call me after his bar meeting which was at 3pm.  by the time 8:30 rolled around, i was like what the hell is going on, how can a stupid bar meeting last 5 frickin hrs?  well, i had no idea that a bar meeting was basically an over glorified term that entails drinking with your fellow bartenders and managers.  so he called me at 8:30 ( i was already on my way out to eat with a friend), so i told him i would call him after i ate so maybe we could grab a drink or something.  so i met up with him and by the time i got there, it was pretty evident he was a little beyond drunk.  so i took him home.  p.s. i think some girl did a number on him, because the whole time he kept asking me if i had a gf, and that he was so sick of girls who were only looking for one night stands, etc etc, and totally asking me what my motives are? and im thinking, "um....we just met, that's a little premature".  anyway, i might give him another shot, when he is actually sober...or maybe not. I'll get a little more into this story later....when i can gather my thoughts.

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Andrea Julia


Coach

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RE: date tomorrow
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Did you guys ever specify a time for the date?  If not, maybe he just thought 8:30 was a perfectly fine time to go out.  I agree with you giving him a second chance.  Try to pin him down to a time this time so it will be obvious if he decides to blow you off. 


To be honest, I'm kind of not liking him already.  I don't like that he showed up drunk to the first date.  I think a guy should try to impress on a first date.  I also didn't like that he said that he keeps meeting girls that just want one night stands.  Even though he works at a bar, I don't know if I believe that.  I just don't know many girls at all that just want a one-night stand with a guy.  It makes me think that he either wants to feel you out to see if you would have a one-night-stand with him or that he is trying to seem like a sensitive guy to get you hooked quicker. 


I almost erased this and didn't post this because I don't want to be negative about a guy that could turn out to be nice.  However, I've been in the dating world for quite a while and that is how I am reading it and I thought you might like to know.



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janey831


Kate Spade

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good points AJ. he text messaged me today and said, i still want to go out tonite, and sorry i was all f*ed up last night and i hope i didnt make a total ass of myself.....hmmm still thinking..

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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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yikes, showing up wasted for a date is HORRIBLE. He sounds pretty shady to me, hon...

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janey831


Kate Spade

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ahhhhh deep down, i know you guys are right

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blubirde


Chanel

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Oh well - we all make mistakes right? If you want to, why not give him another shot? It certainly can't hurt to meet him for a drink (maybe food is better) or something. Besides, you'll be able to tell right away whether he's a loser or not. It's better than wondering, imo.


Just so you know, I always give boys a second (sometimes third and fourth) chance so I may be a bit biased.


Keep us posted!



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janey831


Kate Spade

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ok, so i decided to give him a shot because 1) we didnt make any definite plans and 2) he apologized for his drunk behavior the other night.  so we went to dinner and a movie, but i realized we are really different people, in fact we hardly have anything in common, except each other.  I'm sure that we have SOMETHING in common, but just not the superficial things like favorite type of movie, interests, etc.  I don't mean to sound shallow, but then it kind of bothers me how he didnt go to college and he's just kind of working as a bartender.  He did say he wants to open up his own bar someday, but I don't know.  Is it ok to feel this way? I feel so shallow saying it.  I know that I like him, he's kind of refreshing in a way, but at the same time I'm not sure if that is just because I've never gone out with anyone like him.  He's really sweet but kind of quiet and I felt like we were both just kind of feeling each other out, he told me that he's never met anyone like me (and not in the cheesy way, it was more like personality wise i think). 

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blubirde


Chanel

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janey831 wrote:

ok, so i decided to give him a shot because 1) we didnt make any definite plans and 2) he apologized for his drunk behavior the other night.  so we went to dinner and a movie, but i realized we are really different people, in fact we hardly have anything in common, except each other.  I'm sure that we have SOMETHING in common, but just not the superficial things like favorite type of movie, interests, etc.  I don't mean to sound shallow, but then it kind of bothers me how he didnt go to college and he's just kind of working as a bartender.  He did say he wants to open up his own bar someday, but I don't know.  Is it ok to feel this way? I feel so shallow saying it.  I know that I like him, he's kind of refreshing in a way, but at the same time I'm not sure if that is just because I've never gone out with anyone like him.  He's really sweet but kind of quiet and I felt like we were both just kind of feeling each other out, he told me that he's never met anyone like me (and not in the cheesy way, it was more like personality wise i think). 

I think it's okay to feel the way you feel regarding the college thing. But to be fair, I know a lot of people who have gone to college and are complete dumbasses. So it's not necessarily a be-all-end-all. That said, I think it can, generally speaking, be a good starting point to feel people out.


But listen, if you liked him alright and if he wants to, why not go out with him again? Maybe someone different than you is a good match, ya know? Opposites attract and all?



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Deuce


Dooney & Bourke

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Girl...Stay away from bartenders. I am speaking from experience. Really nice guys and fun to date. Definitely not relationship material. They get hit on constantly, Drinking is practically required of them, They sleep late, and so much more.


I just want to say I bartended for years so I know what is out there (generally speeking) These guys who are average have over inflated egos becuase they get hit on constantly, could it be the alcohol working in their favor, I think so.



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janey831


Kate Spade

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Deuce:  I told my friend what you said (she has also dated a bartender) and she agreed with you completely, 100%

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