STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

atlgirl · Gucci

RE: OMG!!

Hermes

Farrah wrote:

Okay, this is what you need to do. Move home. Get a job working in the hospital where your mom works. It may be a crappy sceretarial position, but you need to bite the bullet and do something to get back on your feet and I hate to say this, but you may have to be unhappy for a little while longer to be happier in the long run. Living with your mom will allow you to save money and get the much needed moral support that you need right now. Hospitals also have great benefits and will most likely have a tuition reimbursement plan so that you can get help paying for school at night. I understand your commuting problem to school, but I have to commute to Evanston 2 days a week from DT Chicago for the next year and half to make my goal of becoming an RN a reality. You have to start believing in yourself and making changes or nothing will change for you. I know that this is hard too. I moved back into my parents house when I was 23 after being on my own since I was 17 and took a crappy waitressing job to save money to move to Chicago and make a better life for myself and you know what? I did it and I only had to live there for 9 months. You can do this girl!

ditto. I moved in with my mother in my 20's - it wasn't my first choice, but it was what I needed to do. I also waited tables and paid my way though college. In order to get ahead you have to make sacrifices - I guess it also depends on how badly you want it.

kenzie · Chanel

detroit wrote:

ditto. I moved in with my mother in my 20's - it wasn't my first choice, but it was what I needed to do. I also waited tables and paid my way though college. In order to get ahead you have to make sacrifices - I guess it also depends on how badly you want it.

The thing is, I've already done this once, between my sophomore and junior years of college. I was 20 then. I haven't lived at home since, but I've done the crappy waitressing job thing already. I did it for almost 7 years. I really can't do it again. I'm tired of doing crappy things just to bide my time and try to get ahead. I feel like I've been working so hard for the past 9 years since I graduated from high school and it's all been for nothing. I put myself through school, worked crazy hours, did internships, moved back in with mom to save some money and I feel like so many years later, I'm no further than I was back then. That's what's so frustrating about the whole situation.

dc · Dooney & Bourke

No, you are further than you were back then. (Also you were a girl in college then - who DOESN'T live with their parents during the summer in college? That doesn't count.) You have experience now in life and in work. You just don't see it yet because you're comparing yourself to others, but you've come further than you think. You're living your life and learning lessons - and EVERYONE works crap jobs in their twenties but it all adds up. And SO many of us have moved back home in our twenties for a spell. I frankly do not know anyone who has done so and regretted it. Are we losers? ( I refer back to my post the other day. ) One of my best friends just spent the first 3 years of her thirties living with her mom while she finished her doctorate. And she certainly isn't a failure! She was SMART, and it helped her to pay for school. Nobody cared if she lived with her mom, and she's laughing all the way to the bank.

I have heard you say so many times you hoped to move out of the area, to LA or GA or SC. This may be your opportunity to get your bearings and make it happen and stop talking about it, but you need to take a breather, get some distance from your life for a little while, and see things more clearly what you want to do next. You really do.

I don't know how many other ways to say it, but I CAN say that if I personally hadn't sucked it up and taken advantage of my parents' home on more than one occasion in my twenties, I would not be where I am today (which is not too shabby if I may say so myself). It took humility, but boy am I glad I did it.

Stop thinking of the reasons why you can't do it and look at all of the excellent reasons why you should. It isn't forever, and it just might change everything for you. You cannot keep on going the way you have been - you'll go nuts. Life doesn't just happen to you. Stop reacting and ACT. You have NOTHING keeping you where you are. No mortgage, no kids, and a boyfriend you really need to dump. The world is your OYSTER, girl. This will not be the case forever! Living with your mom is NOT admitting defeaat, it's an opportunity to get your act together so you can move on to your next adventure baggage-free and hopefully with a few more bucks. What are you waiting for?

I don't believe in God, but if there ever was a sign, these two roommates bailing is it.

-- Edited by dc at 21:52, 2005-09-01

kenzie · Chanel

dc wrote:

No, you are further than you were back then. You were a girl in college then (who DOESN'T live with their parents during the summer in college? That doesn't count.), you are a woman now, and you need to get back on your feet. Many of us have done it. Are we losers? I refer back to my post the other day. I have heard you say so many times you hoped to move out of the area, to LA or GA or SC. This may be your opportunity to get your bearings and make it happen and stop talking about it, but you need to take a breather, get some distance from your life for a little while, and see things more clearly what you want to do next. You really do. I don't know how many other ways to say it, but I CAN say that if I personally hadn't sucked it up and taken advantage of my parents' home on more than one occasion in my twenties, I would not be where I am today (which is not too shabby if I may say so myself). It took humility, but boy am I glad I did it. Stop thinking of the reasons why you can't do it and look at all of the excellent reasons why you should. It isn't forever, and it just might change everything for you. You cannot keep on going the way you have been - you'll go nuts. Life doesn't just happen to you. Stop reacting and ACT. You have NOTHING keeping you where you are. No mortgage, no kids, and a boyfriend you really need to dump. The world is your OYSTER, girl. This will not be the case forever! Living with your mom is NOT admitting defeaat, it's an opportunity to get your act together so you can move on to your next adventure baggage-free and hopefully with a few more bucks. What are you waiting for? I don't believe in God, but if there ever was a sign, these two roommates bailing is it.

I supposed I should clarify that I took a year off between my sophomore and junior years and lived at home (not just a summer). But anyway, that's beside the point.

Yes, I'm moving home. I'm keeping my job and working my part-time job, too to stash as much cash as I can to buy a car and pay down some school debt and hopefully get my own place. I'm not sure how long I'll be home, hopefully, not more than a year. Thanks for all of your thoughts, dc. I always appreciate your input (as I do all the women on this forum).