STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

member · Hermes

Remember My Psycho Ex that I used to work with?

blubirde · Chanel

omg! How horrible for you. I think you're doing the right thing by saving what he says to you. I'd write down any person-to-person comments he makes, if he ever does, also. I don't know what I'd do if I were you.

Is there any way you can tell a supervisor that he makes you uncomfortable and could y'all please be put on different floors? Or is that not possible? (It's probably not but I thought I'd throw it out there.)

Vent here anytime you like. And if he does get too saucy or mean, go ahead and tell that sweet bf of yours so he CAN kick his ass.

Elle · Hermes

Oh, man does that ever suckity suck suck! It's soooo smart of you to be saving the things he writes you - just in case. Do you have a supervisor or colleague that you could make aware of the situation and that you trust? If it really gets ugly, it would look really good for you (and bad for him) if you had already brought the possibility of problems to someone else's attention. Especially if he tried to lie about you harassing him or some such nonsense. Hang in there!

-- Edited by LMonet at 16:56, 2005-08-16

member · Hermes

Thanks girls - I could probably tell my boss about it..I'm not sure what could be done at this point yet?

blubirde - unfortunately, I don't think having him moved from the floor is much of a possibility at this point

Elle · Hermes

shopchicago33 wrote:

Thanks girls - I could probably tell my boss about it..I'm not sure what could be done at this point yet?

Nothing yet - but I think you giving your boss the heads up would make you look responsible and him look like a looney if anything ever came to pass ...

"Boss, I just wanted to make you aware of something that may or may not become an issue in the future regarding Stupid Asshat Ex. We ended a relationship on bad terms and since he is again with our company there is the possibilty that our history could become an issue at some point. I am doing my best to limit my contact with him, though I thought it would be best that you know beforehand should a problem arise."

Just some food for thought. Obviously, how personal you get would depend on your relationship with your boss as well as your comfort level/need to disclose.

cat · Marc Jacobs

definitely keep a copy of every IM he sends you.Just in case there is a problem.I went through somthing similar with one of my ex bf's. He keep calling,driving past my house, sending creepy e-mails.It sounds worse for you sense you work with him.I know how you feel and how stressful a situation like this can be.You can pm me if you need someone to talk with about it. Hang in there!

honey · Gucci

i'm sorry you're going through this. i would talk to your boss asap. i like lmonet's phrasing and i would bring the im's with you. i think it's important that you take action immediately. not to sound all alarmist, but in situations like this (esp. since you already have im's) it's best to nip it in the bud (sorry for the cliche) b/f it escalates. if you talk to your boss now they'll probably speak to him and might now move him to your floor.

NCshopper · Hermes

LMonet wrote:

shopchicago33 wrote: Thanks girls - I could probably tell my boss about it..I'm not sure what could be done at this point yet? Nothing yet - but I think you giving your boss the heads up would make you look responsible and him look like a looney if anything ever came to pass ... "Boss, I just wanted to make you aware of something that may or may not become an issue in the future regarding Stupid Asshat Ex. We ended a relationship on bad terms and since he is again with our company there is the possibilty that our history could become an issue at some point. I am doing my best to limit my contact with him, though I thought it would be best that you know beforehand should a problem arise." Just some food for thought. Obviously, how personal you get would depend on your relationship with your boss as well as your comfort level/need to disclose.

I totally agree with this. If a situation ever does come up, you will look better by having brought it to your boss's attention BEFORE.

Also, I think it's ridiculous he tells you it's up to you whether or not you want to talk to him and then gets upset when you don't want to talk to him. You may want to be completely upfront with him and say "Listen. I appreciate your apology and I can forgive you for what you did, but I cannot forget. I no longer want any contact with you unless it is explicitly work related." Or something to that effect. You don't want to be hostile, but you may want to let him know not to expect any sort of relationship with you.

That sucks you have to work with him. I hope you don't have to work directly with him, and that if you do your time spent with him is VERY limited.

kenzie · Chanel

Oh, that sucks!! Definitely talk to your boss and give her a heads up. Good luck to you!

member · Hermes

NCshopper wrote:

Also, I think it's ridiculous he tells you it's up to you whether or not you want to talk to him and then gets upset when you don't want to talk to him. You may want to be completely upfront with him and say "Listen. I appreciate your apology and I can forgive you for what you did, but I cannot forget. I no longer want any contact with you unless it is explicitly work related." Or something to that effect. You don't want to be hostile, but you may want to let him know not to expect any sort of relationship with you. That sucks you have to work with him. I hope you don't have to work directly with him, and that if you do your time spent with him is VERY limited.

Thanks girls for the advice and support. I think I will mention it to my boss. The funny thing is that my boss knows briefly about it from the past when this all started. My boss and I have a good relationship, so I think I'll mention something. He may be able to pull some strings so that he prevents him from moving onto this floor.

ncshopper - oh, I think it's hilarious that he tells me he'll leave it up to me to talk to him, but then the next day is trying to talk to me again. This is just so typical of him and how he's always acted. As for being upfront w/him - I was. I told him "you told me you'd leave it to me to contact you and I don't want any contact with you. Thanks for the apology but it really isn't relevant to me anymore. You and I are old news, I've moved on and I'd appreciate you leaving me alone and respecting my wish to not have contact with you."

The most hilarious part is that he is still with his girlfriend that I found out he was with all along when I was with him and he lives with her!!! Why is he trying to talk to me? Just shows you what a scumbag he is.