STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

Seriously, what is wrong with some people?

crystal · Kate Spade

i think that is horrible! your friend really has no clue! also, i think your bf needs to run to the nearest HR rep & deal w/ that ignorant guy. i myself am half mexican & half "white" (aka lots of european stuff). i look white tho so people make comments to me all the time about mexicans! it's so disgusting that people actually think that way! even in my office, which is pretty conservative most of the time, people make comments all the time that are totally out of line (stuff about gay people too, which i find just as bad a racial comments). i don't understand how these people function in REAL LIFE! it makes me so angry!!

blubirde · Chanel

The thing is, tons of people are like that. And I don't think all people that make inappropriate and ignorant comments are racist or bigots, etc. I think they're just stupid and they're repeating something they heard growing up or maybe something that their friends say. If you are surrounded by comments like those you don't necessarily know they're bad.

I'm not making excuses by any means because it's totally WRONG and I would have thrown a shit fit if I'd been your bf, but it's my way of thinking people aren't completely hateful.

But your friend? I can't believe that. She'd probably have some serious apologizing to do to me if she wanted to stay my friend. I've dated people of other races and if someone would have said something to me, I would have shoved my fist right up their ass (and I'm a pacifist!).

Luv2Shop · Kate Spade

People are just so close minded, and I don't know how you can be this day in age! There are just about as many gay's as there are straigts! And the US is so multi-cultural that I can't even believe people still use the term inter-racial!

It just reminded me of something funny some co-workers and I were talking about at lunch today. I work at a publishing company and we make TONS of childrens books. The guy that writes and illustrates all the religious catholic childrens story books is a flamming homosexual!! We all got a huge laugh out of it, including him who says for fun he includes sort of hidden "gay themes" in his images, nothing dirty or anything, but just lots of Jesus hugging men, and in Noah's Ark when he gets 2 of each animal, both Lions have manes. Only male lions have manes! It's nothing that will ever stand out or affect the child reading it, but it's just funny to think about all the straight laced, gay bashing catholics buying a religious book for thier child that was made by a gay guy! Karmah is a bitch for the rude people out there so keep your head up and try to ignore all the ignorant comments as hard as it may be.

kenzie · Chanel

brazencanadian, I can't believe your friend actually said that to you!!! That's horrible. And the guy at your bf's office is just an idiot.

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 16:27, 2005-08-15

Escrime · Kate Spade

blubirde wrote:

The thing is, tons of people are like that. And I don't think all people that make inappropriate and ignorant comments are racist or bigots, etc. I think they're just stupid and they're repeating something they heard growing up or maybe something that their friends say. If you are surrounded by comments like those you don't necessarily know they're bad.

I have to agree with this. Sometimes, I get so angry when these things happen to me, that I want to punch someone, but I have to tell myself this. That way, I can calmly tell them that what they are saying is ignorant, incorrect, and offensive. Hopefully, I can make them think twice before they say something like that again.

My husband and I face it on a regular basis. It's not as bad as when I lived in Louisiana, but it is still there.

crystal · Kate Spade

Luv2Shop wrote:

it's just funny to think about all the straight laced, gay bashing catholics

i'm not sure if this is a commonly held conception, but i am catholic and i don't know ANY catholics that are "gay bashing". although homosexuality is not condoned by the church, it is accepted and at my church (not sure about all of them) there are activity groups specifically for gay people (as well as divorced people, something else not condoned but accepted). i know the church is not perfect in any way, but it is suprisingly (to non-cathlolics) very accepting.

Metric · Gucci

My bf works as a welder in a heavy machinery shop so part of the problem is that the unwritten law is that you sort out your own problems. Going to HR would be a very "crybaby" thing to do.

Luv2Shop · Kate Spade

crystal wrote:

Luv2Shop wrote:
it's just funny to think about all the straight laced, gay bashing catholics
i'm not sure if this is a commonly held conception, but i am catholic and i don't know ANY catholics that are "gay bashing". although homosexuality is not condoned by the church, it is accepted and at my church (not sure about all of them) there are activity groups specifically for gay people (as well as divorced people, something else not condoned but accepted). i know the church is not perfect in any way, but it is suprisingly (to non-cathlolics) very accepting.

Wow! That's so great to hear. I am glad some churches are becomming more accepting of homosexuality. I am not trying to bash catholics in any way, I am one, but I am VERY accepting of homosexuallity. I think it may be more Christians then Catholics, though some catholic groups are bad too. I was just listening to the radio the other day about christian and catholic groups who try to "un-gay" people I guess you could say. They had this couple on I think the View the other day and the guy "used to be gay" and is now married to a woman. I think people are born gay and that men or women who reverse their sexuallity are lying to themselves and really cheating whoever their partner is out of real love.
Just my opinion.

crystal · Kate Spade

Luv2Shop wrote:

I think it may be more Christians then Catholics, though some catholic groups are bad too.

i was actually thinking the same thing & was going to ask if maybe you meant christians, but i didn't want to be considered "christian bashing"...

. i agree w/ you too on people being born gay. i think it's awful that people try to "un-gay" others. i honestly equate this with racism & i know people who would laugh in my face if i said that, which is so sad.

MissMee · Kate Spade

That's so dumb! My hubby is part Italian, part Puerto Rican but not very dark skinned at all. Just dark hair and eyes. My ex-husband saw his picture and said, "what, is your new boyfriend black?" What an ignoramous, so I feel your pain/anger!

halleybird · Hermes

crystal wrote:

Luv2Shop wrote: I think it may be more Christians then Catholics, though some catholic groups are bad too. i was actually thinking the same thing & was going to ask if maybe you meant christians, but i didn't want to be considered "christian bashing"... . i agree w/ you too on people being born gay. i think it's awful that people try to "un-gay" others. i honestly equate this with racism & i know people who would laugh in my face if i said that, which is so sad.

My Catholic church was always very accepting, too. I think, just like with everything else, public perception is always the extreme. In my experience, most neighborhood Catholic churches are very open-minded. Of course, the Vatican is a different story.

Brazen, I am sorry for your BF. We encounter a lot of racism, particularly toward Mexicans, here. I had a student tell me last year that she would never go to college in Tucson because "it's too close to the border." WTF? I wonder if your bf can go to HR or something if it continues.

carmenb513 · Coach

Some people are just plain IGNORANT.Actually yesterday I had to fire this lady for making racial slurs and nasty comments.Prime example, thise particular lady came onto the sales floor to start her shiftand wanted to know which register this older lady rang on (she was the only black girl; working in this dep. at the particular time).When asked why does it matter she made a comment whatever register she was on (blk lady) would be short- I guess all black people are thieves.That's not even the worse, I don't even want to repeat it.

When I brought her into my office, she and I quote, "Well I only made remarks about customers- not associates")

WTH?What does that have to do with the price of milk? It's the same difference, actually it's worse!

So I told her to get her stuff and never come back! The sad part is she's probably 60 or so, Iand will never eduacte herself.She'll be like that until she croaks!BTW: Her family doesn't speak to her..............wonder why?

I hope he can get this resolved!

Deuce · Dooney & Bourke

Sorry to hear that. I loathe some people. I am pale as they come with red hair and blue eyes. My bf is Mexican/American Indian, needless to say he is very dark especially during summer (he has a convertible too.) I cannot tell you the looks that we get. I am pretty oblivious but he pointed it out and It is so true. It does come from both sides, like what are you thinking, dating him, or how dare you date her... what's this all about. People are just morons. I have found that him being pretty big and having tatooos stops the comments cold and the looks quickly glance away when they realize that he notices.

Ha Ha check this out: we have on more than one occasion been followed to our driveway bay cops. One time I got out quickly and looked at the officer. He asked if everything was Ok "mam" and I asked him the same thing, he had the nerve to tell me he was just making sure I was ok. and we live in California.????

My favorite is when poeple come up to us and talk to him is spanish. He is only 1/4 mexican and doesn't know much spanish beyond slang. I on the other hand am fluent. It is pretty funny when he looks at them blankly and I respond.

Oh well I just have to laugh about it. Stupid People always give me something to laugh about and a reason to be thankful (I'm not that dumb) whew!!

ayo · Coach

And people would really like to believe racism is a thing from the past...

How about the civil rights movement just happened in the 60's some of those same people that didn't want minorites sharing the same school with their children are STILL alive...

atlgirl · Gucci

And people would really like to believe racism is a thing from the past.

IMO, sadly, it will never be. I moved to Georgia three years ago from Arizona and it has been an eye-opener. The attitude comes from both sides and it just breaks my heart that people are so quick to judge on superficial things like skin/eye/hair color, etc. How much better it would be if haters put the energy spent on hating to more productive uses!

kenzie · Chanel

atlgirl wrote:

And people would really like to believe racism is a thing from the past. IMO, sadly, it will never be. I moved to Georgia three years ago from Arizona and it has been an eye-opener. The attitude comes from both sides and it just breaks my heart that people are so quick to judge on superficial things like skin/eye/hair color, etc. How much better it would be if haters put the energy spent on hating to more productive uses!

I agree that racism will probably never die. It gets really bad here in Philly, too. You wouldn't think so, but it is unbelievable. And I've actually seen it go in the opposite direction here, too (meaning, anti-white). Where I used to work was predominantly an African-American area and I used to deal with snide comments from shoppers all the time b/c I'm white. So, it goes both ways. Sad, but true.

blink · Coach

I do believe racism will die, but we should focus on how far we have come in literally just a few generations. I mean, we still have people alive today whose parents or grandparents may have been slaves. Hatred toward any race is never acceptable, but if we focus on the positive, ignore the negative late-bloomers/racists, and keep pushing in the right direction, there will be peace and unity on this earth.

blubirde · Chanel

You know what's weird? I grew up in a town that was very multi-cultural. It was probably 1/3 white, 1/3 hispanic, and 1/3 black. Well, maybe more black than hispanic, but you get my point. (Other cultures and races were rare.) So I move to Austin and my first thought on campus was, "where are all the black people?" It really does feel predominantly white here, although I know statistically that's not the case.

Anyway, my point is that in Austin everyone claims to be very liberal and open-minded (and for the most part everyone is) but you should see some people when they are around a lot of black people in this town! It's crazy really. No one would blatantly say something or do something but... well, it's more of a feeling really. I can't adequately explain it.

But in the town where I grew up, which had a large black population, the attitudes were completely different. As a matter of fact, it was a small, farm town in Texas and I'm sure you can all guess the stereotypes associated with towns like that. But the acceptance/comfortable level is so much higher in that tiny town than in this big, liberal city.

I don't know what the point of that story was or what significance it has but there it is nonetheless.

People are stupid. But we're smarter than our parents are. And they're smarter than their parents were, so maybe one day people will be completely smart. Think so?

Here's to hoping!!