STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

JMR · Dooney & Bourke

so I caused a fight with my inlaws - now what?

kenzie · Chanel

Oh, that sucks. But she was definitely out of line. And props to your husband for standing up to his mom (lots of guys can't stand up to their mothers for some ridiculous reason). Don't be a martyr in this situation. So, you forgot. It happens. You apologized and made her the earrings. BTW, were these earrings free? If so, she's even more out of line b/c you were doing her a favor!!

I'm sure things will calm down. I would just give her the earrings, maybe send them with a nice card and let her stew in her juices until she calms down (which she will, eventually).

JMR · Dooney & Bourke

Of COURSE they are free - Charging my MIL would be like shaking hands with the devil haha.

Cricket · Gucci

Well, JMR, I think you're wrong. You didn't CAUSE a fight... you made an honest mistake. What's with this woman? I say give her the earrings w/ a nice note like NylaBelle said, and ignore the fact that she's ignoring you. She SHOULD realize that she's being completely unreasonable. Hopefully she does and after a few days it will blow over. Why would someone start an arguement over something so trivial espescially when your having her grandchild soon? GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

JMR · Dooney & Bourke

Ok I know you guys are right - I made an innocent mistake...and you know what - I don't really care if she is upset with me or not - she'll get over it....its more about my Husband...he went to bat for me - and now they are mad at him too....for HIM I want to make this all ok - not for her or for me...but for him....Not sure how though if they aren't open to it.

Cricket · Gucci

Wish I had advice for you, but it seems like such a silly thing to be SO MAD about, and I don't know what to do w/ people like that except apologize and leave it at that. Neither of you should have to grovel for their forgiveness. They'll get over it. Go on about both of your lives and they'll see that it's not a big deal.

JMR · Dooney & Bourke

I can always count on you guys to make me feel sane. I really thought I was losing it....thank you!

Funny - yesterday my DH and I watched Dr. Phil - not sure if anyone saw it but it was about 2 mother in laws that couldnt get along. Well dr. phil said to their kids - its up to you to stand up to your own parent and not let them treat your spouse poorly...this is your family and you need to protect it.

Well - I guess it sunk in....My husband just called me and told me he worked it out with his mother. She explained she was hurt and he told her be that as it may - Jen didn't mean it and you have to understand your actions and words have reprecussions....and you hurt her back.

Then he said - geez...I'll never understand women - remind me never to piss your mom off haha.

So I feel a little better about her, and A LOT better that my Hubby came to the rescue.

Thank you THank You Thank you for listening to me and helping me...I was panicking for a few minutes there!

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

You made an innocent mistake and you apologized. There is nothing more you can do. How about if you make her two pairs of earrings, instead of one? That will keep her quiet!

Cortney1982 · Chanel

OMG! What a total bitch! Does she sit on her behind all day or what? She's got a screw loose.

honey · Gucci

glad things worked out. and you're hubby is fab for standing up for you like that.

sage · Dooney & Bourke

I am glad everything is okay now. Wow! I would have been feeling the same way you were. Your mother in law should feel fortunate to have such a caring person for a daughter in law.

erin · Chanel

first of all, your husband is a total sweetie for standing up for you!

that's awful and immature how she was treating you. very passive aggressive, imo. you honestly just forgot, and she should have forgiven that considering you are PREGNANT and have all these other things going on.

i am glad to see things worked out.

atlgirl · Gucci

Oh, no you didn't! Your MIL did. Don't you *dare* feel guilty about this. My DH's sis is not quite this bad, but every family get-together turns into a scene at some point...how she's being ignored (because she refuses to contribute to the conversation, even when we try to draw her in), how her daughter "ruined" her wedding (SIL was a single mom until her daughter was 14, when SIL got married), etc. etc.

Unfortunately my DH tries so hard to keep the peace that he ends up wanting me to bend over backwards to accomodate her manipulations, and I get torn between wanting him to be happy and wanting her to know it doesn't work on everone....*sigh*

Anyway, give your husband a big, fat kiss for sticking up for you so strongly!! He's a dear, and he's totally right. His mother should not treat you that way. Plus - I'm sorry, but it's a friggin' pair of earrings. It's not like you forgot a deadline on something that cost her an opportunity or something. Sounds to me like she wanted any old excuse to pick a fight (I can see her marking the days off her calendar until enough time had passed to give you grief).

I say, enjoy your marriage (and pregnancy!) and see as little of your MIL as possible. *s*

jestillman · Kenneth Cole

Glad you are feeling better about this. Any woman who has had a child...like your MIL...should UNDERSTAND that you're busy! Sounds like you have a lot going on right now. Make sure you make time for you!

Do not waste any more time or emotion on this. your husband sounds wonderful....so often we only hear the bad stories(i mean in general, not from you specifically), it is nice to hear there are great guys out there who do what is right.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!

JMR · Dooney & Bourke

Funny how many of you pegged it - She recently retired...and my husband said last night that he thinks that is part of the problem - she has NOTHING TO DO BUT ANNOY US!!

I need to find a hobby for her...hmmm...how about jewelry making?!?!?

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

People screw up. You screwed up, a very little bit and completely inadvertently. Then you did your best to fix it as quickly as you could. Plus, you owned up to it promptly and apologized sincerely. Sounds pretty good to me.

Your MIL was way out of line to act like a mistake on your part gave her the privilege to treat you like dirt - and on your own birthday! People who play that game are scary-messed-up. Also, did she SAY she wanted her earrings within a month? Because if there was no time line, a month doesn't sound that crazy unreasonable to me.

Andrea Julia · Coach

I can see why she would be a little upset, but not so much that she would stop talking to you. It is probably more about her feeling like you don't care about her than about the earrings themself. That being said, it really isn't that big of a deal and a simple "I'm sorry" followed up by the earrings should be sufficient. If she is still mad after that, you should talk to her. Maybe she has been feeling slighted for a while and that is why she said there was some sort of conspiracy.

I really do think her retirement has something to do with it. She may have had this picture of herself being too busy with work to spend time with her family and now that she isn't working, she can devote all her time to her family and everyone will be so excited. Then, it turns out that everyone else is busy with their lives, too.

Everything will work out! Don't worry too much!