STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

kenzie · Chanel

Deleted

Christine · Coach

RE: I think I'm officially depressed.

nunzi182 · Kate Spade

I know this is going to sound impossible and pointless, but you cannot go through your life comparing yourself to other people. You just can't...you'll drive yourself crazy. I learned at a young age that comparing yourself to others does nothing for your situation and in the end it doesn't matter. You are an individual, which means that what's right for the bf, just isn't right for you at this particular time. Things do not have to happen for you, the same way that they happened for the bf, or anyone else.

Once you realize this, I think it will be a lot easier to put a positive perspective on your own situation. Sure you took a pay cut and don't have a "career", but you got out of retail and HAVE a job, right? That's worth something it's more than some other people can say (which you shouldn't be comparing to anyway.)

Good luck! Cheer up and feel free to vent, post anytime.

kenzie · Chanel

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 08:40, 2005-07-21

poptart · Coach

I can honestly say that I completely understand. I've been through almost the same feelings, but the other girls are all right: not everyone's life happens on the same time table. Try to remember that you're learning things / achieving things outside of work (i.e. maturing emotionally, etc.) that are just as valuable - if not more - than a career. You *will* hit your stride in your career, I'm sure, but even if not, you have to trust yourself and your decisions and know that nothing else is as important as making decisions that match who you are and where you see yourself going. You're closer to where you want to be than you were when your retail job was sucking all your energy and time, right? Try to remember that, and just keep doing what your doing: I really believe that persistance pays off.

A little rambling, sorry!

nunzi182 · Kate Spade

I didn't mean to sound insensitive, but I was in the same situation and for me personally, dwelling on what others have and I don't does nothing for my self-esteem, so I try to avoid it.

My bf is the same way. I do nothing at work all day and people say to me "I wish I could do that." They're all crazy...I wish I had so much work that I would not want to go home at night. I need to be challenged. I think that is your main problem, that you are not being challenged.

The good thing is that you are recognizing a problem and seeking ways to fix it (going back to school). It just takes time.

Cricket · Gucci

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You're so creative and talented that something perfect for you is bound to fall into your lap. I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I just wanted to tell you that I sympathize and I know things will turn around for you.

NCshopper · Hermes

Ugh, that is a crappy feeling, and I know how you feel. Have you ever heard of the book "Quarterlife Crisis"? I can't remember who wrote it, but it was a huge help to me when I graduated college and was depressed because I was stuck in a crappy internship and all my friends were talking about their "amazing" "real" jobs. Anyway, if you get a chance, take a look at that book. I'm not much for self help books, but that one helped me a ton.

I hope your day gets better! Plan something ultra fun for your birthday so you have something exciting to look forward to or at least treat yourself to a massage, facial, or manicure!

kenzie · Chanel

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 08:41, 2005-07-21

bex · Chanel

just remember that what goes around comes around:
example: i have 2 best friends. BOTH of them had AMAZING careers and lives in fabulous cities... i was in a smaller town and couldn't catch a break just like you. but i kept going and trying and finally I caught a break... and then my one friend lost her job... and hasn't been able to find one since (she lost it in feb.) and the other quit her high stress job (she never shared this until the end- we all thought she had an awesome career in PR we had no idea she was working from 6am to 2 am most days) and finally found another job that she is just getting by...

i count my blessings that i love my job... but i had to struggle to get where i was... just keep preservering Nylabelle. EVENTUALLY it will work out- when the timing is right for you!

kenzie · Chanel

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 08:41, 2005-07-21

lynnie · Chanel

Oh NYLAbelle- i feel like I"m going to be you in a few years! I think the problem doesn't really stem from the fact that you don't have an amazing job per se, but the fact that you don't really know what that amazing self-fulfilling job is yet that uses all of your talents. I also would consider myself a talented, creative, intelligent person, but I don't think i'm going to be going down any correct career path because I don't see myself working for someone else for my whole life. I have friends that have amazing jobs but the fact is- I PERSONALLY wouldn't want their jobs. For example, my friend started working at the Washington Post, and I'm beyond happy for her, and she's ecstatic, but thats not what I"D want to do. Are there any friends you have that have jobs that you would LOVE to have? Maybe they can get you in the door at their company. What are "dream" jobs for you? My dream jobs (if I could afford to live off the salaries) would be:

1) stylist at TeenVogue

2) whale photographer or someone that takes people out whale-watching

3) fashion designer

4) boutique owner

5) mentor for high-school/middle school age kids- someone that needs someone to talk to

6) someone that explores cities and writes for tour guides (like the Real World Paris job- LUCKY, they took it SO for granted)

7) french tutor- would have to become fluent in my French first, but I would love to learn it well and have conversations in french, i'm such a francophile

blubirde · Chanel

NylaBelle wrote:

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Everyone blames everything that goes wrong on me. Everything! The printer isn't working, it's my fault. People aren't putting in their PTO time on the share calendar, it's my fault. Someone has too many voicemails, it's my fault. And these are just the things that happened within the last 30 minutes. I can't take it!!!!! I'm going to have a breakdown. OMG!!!

Nylabelle, you have got to relax! You really are going to have a breakdown if you don't take care of yourself. Finding a way to deal with the little stresses of life is essential, even though it's definitely easier said than done. And this isn't meant to be harsh at all but you've been going through so much lately - have you thought about seeing a therapist? Sometimes just having set aside time to talk about what's going on in your life helps to put things in perspective. It can be really useful and helpful.

You know, I think everyone goes through things like these, even if they aren't the exact same situation. I'm kind of the opposite. I graduated law school when I was 24. I never did anything except what I was supposed to do. I know I don't want to be a lawyer for the rest of my life - I don't even like law. I'm just now starting to reconnect with the things I like to do - painting for one. I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know where I'll be in five years. I have no money at all (work for the state) and I'm utterly perplexed as to where to begin. So to give you another p.o.v., I have the established "career" and I get promotions and all that jazz but I'm not closer to being happy professionally than you are.

First and foremost, take some time for yourself. You have to take care of you before you can figure out what to do with you. Try new things out, things that interest you. Something will happen for you, I'm sure. And if it doesn't, chuck it all and be a waitress in some high-end restaurant. Then you can pursue your own activities at your leisure and make more money. (Yes I've thought about this!)

Good luck Nylabelle and please, please, try to feel better.

kenzie · Chanel

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 08:41, 2005-07-21

halleybird · Hermes

NylaBelle, you are way too hard on yourself. You have an education, you have a great portfolio, and you know what you're looking for in a job (even if you don't know exactly what career path you want to take). You are only 26 -- you have so much time to make a great career. PLEASE give yourself a break!

lynnie · Chanel

Nylabelle- that is great that you know what you want to do. Do you know anybody that has these jobs that you can talk to? Maybe email somebody, even if you don't know them, with a job you admire to ask them how they got into their professions, what steps they took, how they feel about it. People love to talk about themselves to someone genuinely interested. Don't ask them for a job or anything, but just so you know the best way to start. Maybe you could even start a new career path before you go back to school. You'll make unexpected connections this way. And as crappy as it is, that is the best way to get good jobs. Who you know. Also, its a good way to weed out jobs. In my business school, they made it pretty clear that jobs in advertising aren't as glamourous as they sound and it actually can be a quite brutal profession (no offense to anyone that loves it!) While making your connections, just try to find solace in your side-gigs and find peace with your current crappy job- everyone has them!! Not everyone has the perfect career like you think! My dad is disgruntled and he is almost 50- 25 years at the same engineering job when he wanted to be a writer or do something with the environment. You can't kill yourself over it.