STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

bex · Chanel

wedding announcement?

Ritz · Dooney & Bourke

i have no experience with this, but i agree, it is kind of rude. it is like when you graduate from high school and parents send out graduation announcements, but no invitation to the party. although i understand that parents and newlyweds are proud and excited, if you don't feel someone is close enough to you to invite them to celebrate with you, then you shouldn't expect them to be all that excited about the graduation or wedding, and def. shouldn't expect a present.

maybe i could see the wedding announcement being done if it were a very small wedding, or a location wedding, so most people weren't invited, but still, it doesn't seem right.

if you are at all close to her, maybe send her a congratulations card that says something like, we will have to celebrate next time we get together? so you aren't forced to send a present but don't look as if you are avoiding it?

bex · Chanel

Ritz wrote:

maybe i could see the wedding announcement being done if it were a very small wedding, or a location wedding, so most people weren't invited, but still, it doesn't seem right. if you are at all close to her, maybe send her a congratulations card that says something like, we will have to celebrate next time we get together? so you aren't forced to send a present but don't look as if you are avoiding it?

wasn't a small wedding- very large actually- she had 9 bridesmaids! i forget how many people were invited but i think around 250 or more...

eh, i never see her- doubt i ever will unless rare cirumstances arise. i think i am just going to pitch the announcement and forget about it!

Elle · Hermes

How long has it been since you saw her? I think that according to 'etiquette' that it's perfectly acceptable to send announcements to those you weren't able to invite. Granted, weddings are very, very expensive and most people can't invite everyone they wish they could. However, this situation totally sounds like they are fishing for gifts and/or money.

For our wedding (except for family), our rule is if we haven't spoken to you in over a year and you don't even know that the wedding is happening, you aren't invited and we aren't going to go to the trouble of finding your address and the expense to send you an announcement. It just seems silly to communicate out of the blue with people you don't see/talk to anymore, and it creates weird situations like this one right here!

Pitch the announcement - IMO it should never have been sent in the first place.

-- Edited by LMonet at 13:04, 2005-07-14

hotcocoa · Kate Spade

i think that announcements are simple ways of letting people (who weren't invited to the wedding) know that you are now married. no matter how large or small a wedding, a guest list has it's limits. i don't think it's a call for gifts, but if it were me i'd probably send a card with my congratulations.

just my 2¢