STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

okay, i know i'm a terrible virtual friend to all of you and i never come to help or chat anymore, only when i need something...but i promise that will all change once this wedding is over and all that.  (and i also know that i owe a couple of you emails, which i should probably be doing right now instead of this, sorry!)  but please, pretty please, can anyone help me?  i'm so confused...

okay, looking at a dress on the nordstrom website (will post a pic at the bottom for reference), and it's a juniors dress, and i cannot for the life of me figure out what size to order.  apparently there are none of this style available in store near me, or i'd just go try it on.

the junior size chart goes something like this:
size 0 - 1: bust 31.5, waist 24, hips 34
size 3 - 5: bust 33, waist 25.5, hips 35.5
size 7 - 9: bust 35, waist 27.5, hips 37.5

okay, for simplicity's sake, i will now get over the embarassment and just post my own measurements:
Bust  31.5, Waist 27.5, Hips 37.5
okay, so it looks like i need a size 1 in the boobs, but i need a size 7 or 9 in the waist and hips.  seems easy enough, but here's where it gets tricky...

i called Nordstrom and found out the exact measurements of this particular dress, and they are as follows:
for a size 5 - bust 32.25, hips 32.25
for a size 7 - bust 33, hips 33
etc.

apparently to fit my hips into this dress, i'd need a size 13.  which is fine, i don't care about the number, but i normally wear a size 2 or 4 at Gap, Limited, Express, Ann Taylor, etc.  so i am completely confused and have no idea what to do about it.  i have recently tried on about 8000 dresses and i'm pretty sure the largest junior size i've tried is a 7.

okay, this is like the longest, most nonsensical post ever, i guess i've forgotten how to communicate online since i've been away...but please, if anyone has experience or sage advice to offer, it would be much appreciated!