STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

janey831 · Kate Spade

grrrr. some people!!

mikacat · Coach

SORRY-people suck.

i haven't even heard that expression before...i think i am glad.

gypsyfreak · Coach

I feel your pain. I've had similar things happen to me. I'm also in California, where it is rare for that to happen. Also I'm not Japanese, and don't look it either. I'd be angry too.

I also don't understand why people need to be racist. You would think that since we're in the 21st Century, people would be more open-minded. But I guess not. It also makes me sad to think that there are people out there who are like that.

My dad lives in Utah, where it is rare to see Asians. I hate to go visit him because often people will literally stare and gawk at me because they have never seen an Asian before. I've had a couple of racist comments thrown at me, but it's funny cause they will never say it to your face. They will just say it really loud so that you will just happen to overhear them.

-- Edited by gypsyfreak at 12:21, 2005-07-04

-- Edited by gypsyfreak at 12:52, 2005-07-04

-- Edited by gypsyfreak at 13:07, 2005-07-04

kiwi · BCBG

oh man, the stories.

i'm asian too, and after work, i was walking home and these two hispanic boys, who were probably about 16 or so, were walking by me. and one had the balls to say "i hear asian (enter-slang-for-female-genitals-that-starts-with-a-p) is the best (enter-slang-for-female-genitals-that-starts-with-a-p)." the other boy said, "yea, wanna share?"

i could've seriously compromised their reproductive capabilities (which would've done society a small but important favor), but i just told them "you wish."

it still makes my skin crawl. ugh.

laken1 · Hermes

WTF? That's insane. So sorry that happened to you.

ico · Dooney & Bourke

I feel for you. I know the worst part is that you KNOW that those people are idiots, you just whish they could see and understand how idiotic they are!

Once a black guy spit at me b/c I was white. I am serious, I was living in a black/hispanic area. Everybody else was always really nice, but when this happened, I felt I was less b/c of the color of my skin, and I felt like crying! It might sound stupid to some of you, but no matter whether your color is red, blue, purple or green, when people try to let you feel less b/c of it is terrible

bex · Chanel

i am so sorry for you!

i have a little sister (we are in the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program) who is from Twaiwan and she is 8 years old. She complains to me mostly during the school year about other little boys who taunt her b/c of her race on the playground. She always says they call her Chinese or Japanese followed by a derogatory name and she gets really upset... i feel so bad that she has to deal with this at 8 let alone you guys who are much older...

why can't others be more accepting? it frustrates me so much!

blubirde · Chanel

kiwi wrote:

i could've seriously compromised their reproductive capabilities (which would've done society a small but important favor), but i just told them "you wish." it still makes my skin crawl. ugh.

ha! That's pretty funny!

people are such asses aren't they? i will never understand why comments like that need to be made. it just seems so stupid. i know it's easier said than done, but try not to let it get to you janey831. those guys are so dumb that they'll never be a good addition to anyone's world, much less yours.

one of my best friends is korean and the thing she hates the worst is when people (and almost everyone asks her this) ask her where she's from. she's like, "dallas, and you?" grr. people are so very dumb.

gypsyfreak · Coach

kiwi- that was terrible what they said to you! If it were me, I'd be scared that they'd try to attack me or something.

I also hate the "Where are you from" question. I usually say I'm from California or Sacramento. Most people will take this as a hint and stop there. But some of them will just keep badgering me until they get an answer that satisfies them. They'll ask me where my parents come from, when did they come here, etc.

janey831 · Kate Spade

thanks for all the words and sharing all the personal experiences. i honestly havent been faced with that kind of blatant racism in years, i can hardly even remember the last time i experienced something like that. i guess it was just shocking is all. i hate when people ask where i'm from too..it's annyoying.

Lilykind · Hermes

janey831 wrote:

thanks for all the words and sharing all the personal experiences. i honestly havent been faced with that kind of blatant racism in years, i can hardly even remember the last time i experienced something like that. i guess it was just shocking is all. i hate when people ask where i'm from too..it's annyoying.

*hugs*

I grew up in New York and I live in Los Angeles now...you think people would be open minded in both places, but sadly that's not the case.

EVERYONE seems to love the question "Where are you from" and expect a country, especially when it's someone who has to see my legal name. They really don't like it when I answer "New York" or "The Bronx".

lynnie · Chanel

gypsyfreak wrote:

kiwi- that was terrible what they said to you! If it were me, I'd be scared that they'd try to attack me or something. I also hate the "Where are you from" question. I usually say I'm from California or Sacramento. Most people will take this as a hint and stop there. But some of them will just keep badgering me until they get an answer that satisfies them. They'll ask me where my parents come from, when did they come here, etc.

I understand how getting the where are you from? question all the time is annoying- but I think a lot of times it is just curiousity or interest. I've asked aquantainces/friends this from all different ethnicities because it is really interesting to me (never a stranger though- that is just AWK-WARD) I'm not asian, but I'm half persian, and people don't really ask me, Where are you from? (that is a rude way to ask it) but they ask me about my background and it is usually just because I don't look 100% american but they are trying to compliment me somehow. It has never offended me because I don't *think* anyone was trying to be ignorant. Maybe I'm just naive. But yea, these people posted about SUCK

blink · Coach

people should say, what is your nationality or something like that instead of where are you from. once I asked my friend (who is blond and blue eyed) where her family was from because I my heritage mixes Swiss-German and English and wanted to compare, she said "we're 100% American..." I think she misunderstood the question, but I wondered where she got the idea that "american" meant regular white person. I didn't want to question her, so I just assumed she probably doesn't know how her family line got to America....not everyone's family does genealogy as seriously as mine.

As for the racist comment, it is really annoying because it seems like people who make comments about asians really don't realize there is anything wrong with it the same way they would recognize racism against blacks, hispanics and even middle easterners. I once corrected an English Professor in 2002 because he kept referring to an Asian writer as an "Oriental." He disagreed with me and said that he had friends who were "oriental" who didn't have a problem with that description, that the real issue was mistakenly calling them "chinese" when they were not from China. I gave up trying to explain it to him, but I took another class of his another semester and he did mention "asians" a time or two, so I think he listened to me and researched it himself.

jen · Kate Spade

Hmm, I ask people where their from all the time but only if I hear an accent and the person seems friendly. I love to hear stories and learn about people from other countries. I would never think to ask someone where their from if they don't have an accent though. Maybe if I saw a very foriegn looking name I'd ask where their family is from but that's about it.

janey831 · Kate Spade

the whole asking me where i am from thing made me remember this time when someone asked me 'where are you from' and so i just assumed they meant, 'what nationality are you' so i answered, and then they proceed to say, oh you speak really good english....uhhhh OKAY. i don't think that they meant to say it to offend me, if anything maybe they were trying to compliment me, anyway, just thought i would share!

gypsyfreak · Coach

lynnie wrote:

gypsyfreak wrote: kiwi- that was terrible what they said to you! If it were me, I'd be scared that they'd try to attack me or something. I also hate the "Where are you from" question. I usually say I'm from California or Sacramento. Most people will take this as a hint and stop there. But some of them will just keep badgering me until they get an answer that satisfies them. They'll ask me where my parents come from, when did they come here, etc. I understand how getting the where are you from? question all the time is annoying- but I think a lot of times it is just curiousity or interest. I've asked aquantainces/friends this from all different ethnicities because it is really interesting to me (never a stranger though- that is just AWK-WARD) I'm not asian, but I'm half persian, and people don't really ask me, Where are you from? (that is a rude way to ask it) but they ask me about my background and it is usually just because I don't look 100% american but they are trying to compliment me somehow. It has never offended me because I don't *think* anyone was trying to be ignorant. Maybe I'm just naive. But yea, these people posted about SUCK

Sorry, I should have clarified that I mostly get the "where are you from" question from complete strangers I just met. I have no problem answering this question if it came from a friend or acquaintance. Also I hate when I answer their question, it's usualy followed by "No, where are you REALLY from?" I personally find it a little rude and a bit insulting that they would dare ask a stranger that.

I've heard the comment "oh, you speak really good English" too. I personally find that funny, especially when I speak perfect English as they do.

My sister gets really offended by the term "oriental" too. She finds it offensive and deragatory (sp?). My mom uses that word all the time though.

janey831 · Kate Spade

my mom uses the term oriental too, but i think this is because she is of an older generation, before oriental became un PC and derogatory.

kiwi · BCBG

lorelei wrote:

I once corrected an English Professor in 2002 because he kept referring to an Asian writer as an "Oriental." He disagreed with me and said that he had friends who were "oriental" who didn't have a problem with that description, that the real issue was mistakenly calling them "chinese" when they were not from China. I gave up trying to explain it to him, but I took another class of his another semester and he did mention "asians" a time or two, so I think he listened to me and researched it himself.

wow, i've never heard of someone at that academic level use the word 'oriental' like that.

i'm with you on the "where are you from" question. i just answer "new york," but some people go so far as to ask "oh, i meant where are you from," as if that meant anything different. sometimes i'll deliberately be an ass and say "MANHATTAN, new york," even though i perfectly know what they mean.

for the other people who aren't as ballsy to come outright and ask, i can see them trying to figure out what ethnicity i am. it doesn't help that i have a non-anglo first name that everyone butchers to death.

re: those stupid boys, i would've been scared too, but i was too mad. it's a good thing for them that i wasn't pms-ing that day

jacL · Coach

blubirde wrote:

one of my best friends is korean and the thing she hates the worst is when people (and almost everyone asks her this) ask her where she's from. she's like, "dallas, and you?" grr. people are so very dumb.

I get this question almost every time after someone learns I am half-Chinese but was born and raised in Milwaukee, WI: "So do you speak Chinese?"

Then I always ask them if they speak German, Irish, Norwegian, or whatever language is associated with their heritage.

I understand most people act out of naivety and curiousity and are not trying to be rude, but I just wish people would think before speaking a little more. With those types of comments (not the outwardly rude racist comments), I think it is best to just blow it off--no sense getting upset over it.

honey · Gucci

people can really suck, and i'm sorry that happened to you. the interesting thing is i get the "where are you from question" all the time. but it doesn't bother me (not saying that it's strange for you to be bothered by it.) i think living in the east coast (especially in the nyc area) it's a really common question b/c so many people are from somewhere else, and it usually has nothing to do with race. i frequently ask it myself. it does get confusing though b/c i'm not sure if people mean it in the geographic sense, or in the ethnic sense. and it can be a tad annoying b/c i lived in a lot of places, and i'm not from the u.s. so it requires this long explanation. and when i discuss my ethnicity, i then have to explain where my country is since not that many people have heard of it.