STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Rica · Kenneth Cole

Busted!

blubirde · Chanel

ouch. I hope I'm never in that situation. How awful for her! I'd go with option #1, for sure. No reason to tell that truth - it really isn't even hers to tell, if you know what I mean. Let the husband and wife duke it out.

I wouldn't still be friends with a guy who had done all that to me though, if I were your friend.

Mandy · Kate Spade

i agree with blubird, i'd go option #1. thats the cheating husband's problem to deal with.

i feel so bad for your friend. at least she stopped things once she found out.

member · Hermes

I agree w/Blubirde and Mandy - that's a tough situation and I wouldn't want to be the one to tell a pregnant woman that her husband cheated on her. That's the cheating scumbag's problem. I also wouldn't be friends w/the guy anymore either. Good for your friend for stopping things though.

poptart · Coach

If she was scary, I would go with option a. (As in scary like she'd come to my house and kill me.) If she seemed relatively normal, I'd go with option b. ETA: Because I think people deserve to know when they're being cheated on and because I wouldn't want to add to the deception by lying about it.

I would not continue to be friends with a person that would put me or his (pregnant) wife in that situation. How awful for your friend and for the guy's wife!

-- Edited by Lisa at 17:30, 2005-06-29

Andrea Julia · Coach

Your friend is definitely in a difficult position. Not only did she have to deal with finding out he's married, now she has to get involved in their marital disputes. She didn't know he was married and never meant to hurt anyone so this is really unfair for her. She can either choose option B and tell all or she can choose option A and just hope the wife believes her.

As for me, I wouldn't have stayed friends with the guy in the first place. I would feel no loyalty at all to someone who cheated on me.

I would choose B. While I wouldn't go out of my way to track her down and tell her, if she were to call me like she called your friend, I would have no reason to cover for him. I think at that point it is pretty obvious the woman knows (maybe she has no concrete evidence, but she must know in her heart). I wouldn't even be talking to him at this point so instead of telling her we were hooking up and now we are friends, I would be telling her we hooked up, then I found out he was married and told him what a piece of garbage he was and never spoke to him again.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

whoa, what a bad situation. i feel for your friend.

if it were me, i'd do neither, and i wouldn't be his friend anymore either. no guy who does that deserves her friendship. if i did answer the phone and had to speak with the wife (as opposed to getting a voice mail or answering machine message), i'd say something like "i don't want to get involved in this situation. i am no longer in contact with your husband." that way, it's not lying, and it's also not breaking the news that her husband is a scumbag."

KE · Kenneth Cole

So what did your friend choose and what happened?

beachgirl · Kenneth Cole

I agree with scarlett. I feel really bad for your friend, it is so unfair to her!

lynnie · Chanel

whoa, i'm with Lisa- no way would I tell the truth if she was scary. Maybe I'd consider it if she came to me crying and was really upset, but I might not just so I woudln't have to deal with the emotional wreckage that would follow. Your friend really did nothing wrong by ending it as soon as she found out, so she has no obligation to pick up the pieces.

splash · Kenneth Cole

So, what did she do? And whatt happened?

I'm torn between telling and not telling, because it seems like the husband needs to deal with this, but then, I think she needs to know. So I'd probably say something like, 'I think you should talk to your husband about this. But we're just friends at this point.' Or something that tells her something's up, but leaves the husband the explanation. If she then explained the situation and said she couldn't find out from him, I might go ahead and tell her more, but that depends on her personality.

As others have said, I probably wouldn't be friends with him.

Renee · Kenneth Cole

What an awful situation! I'm with Scarlett, I would do neither. I would probably say something like "You know, I feel really awful about being involved in this situation. I don't have anything to be ashamed about. Please talk it out with your husband".

RyanJ · Coach

I would probably tell her. This guy is a skeez. The wife obviously has a pretty good idea that something is going on. I would definatley want to know what is going on if I was the wife, so I would hope that someone would tell me.

luckylily · Gucci

I would also tell her to bring it up with her husband. And I wouldn't be friends with the guy anymore, I'd want to be out of his life completely.