STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

RE: I may get slammed for this...

ico · Dooney & Bourke

BrazenCanadian wrote:

*my OCD is showing*
I always stress out about saying the right thing and trying not to be offensive, so if anything I had said offended anyone I am honestly truly sorry.

I haven't read anything less than nice coming from you...

Me too, I have noticed some unpleasant comments, and mee too, I have worried that this very confortable place could be spoiled. But then I thought, if the nice people stick around, it cannot go bad! Besides the moderator are doing a great job!

beachgirl · Kenneth Cole

BrazenCanadian wrote:

I always stress out about saying the right thing and trying not to be offensive, so if anything I had said offended anyone I am honestly truly sorry.

I feel the same way...

By the way Brazen, I love your quote! Almost Famous is such an awesome movie, I need to watch it again now

RyanJ · Coach

BrazenCanadian wrote:
I always stress out about saying the right thing and trying not to be offensive, so if anything I had said offended anyone I am honestly truly sorry.

Me three. I hope that if I put a smiley or a wink afterwards people will know I joking. I don't get offended easily, but I forget that not everyone is like me- some people don't have thick skin.

-- Edited by RyanJ at 15:44, 2005-06-28

lsubatgirl · Gucci

RyanJ wrote:

I hope that if I put a smiley or a wink afterwards people will know I joking.

I do the same Ryan. I also do <begin sarcasm> <end sarcasm> if I'm ever questioning reactions to things I write.

I did notice some cattyness but it has gotten better. I just decided not to respond because that is what those people are looking for that do it on purpose. I just was hoping it was an honest mistake when someone posted it.

stylethread_admin · BCBG

Hi girls - For what it's worth, I posted this sticky over in the shopping thread. I hope it helps:

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=44784&subForumID=102212&action=viewTopic&commentID=3379113&topicPage=

Again, this is a community, and as such, all of your voices count. If you're having issues with the vibe around here, please do let us know! We do not want to lose a single one of you because of someone's careless remarks, so let's all keep it in check together.

blink · Coach

Yes, I have noticed this. Most often, I have taken note of members who come back with harsh judgements toward those who hold differing or unpopular viewpoints in the non-fashion related sections. And the long time members are just as responsible as the new members.

However, as far as the fashion sections, I agree that some of those new posters didn't belong here if they were just going to criticize unique and sometimes expensive tastes.

Overall though, I didn't see this as a big deal. It's easier to be really passively agressive in online forums than it is in person, so I try to remember that fact if I feel insulted or misunderstood. But...there are a few members who I definitely plan avoid discussing hot topics with, because who wants to be burned by someone they don't even know?

ayo · Coach

hmm ok I guess it's been a min!

dc · Dooney & Bourke

lorelei wrote:

Yes, I have noticed this. Most often, I have taken note of members who come back with harsh judgements toward those who hold differing or unpopular viewpoints in the non-fashion related sections.... But...there are a few members who I definitely plan avoid discussing hot topics with, because who wants to be burned by someone they don't even know?

It is very important to both me and Kris (and you know we are on opposite sides of the political fence) to allow for dissent and debate. It is perfectly fine to disagree or take issue, but we shouldn't resort to name-calling or anything like that. So if anyone is overtly rude or abusive (directly attacking others), we need to keep that in check.

On second thought, I hope you're not referring to me! I know I am often passionate about my views. If I come off wrong, please PM me! I certainly don't want to scare anyone, and I actually did censor myself recently by deleting a topic I'd posted because I thought it might be rankling some people: nobody was responding, either because it was annoying or because they were afraid. Or possibly because they didn't care... but I know that I need to be careful and I'll keep trying. Ugh... I know I am a blowhard sometimes. The trolls on Lucky were always "kind" enough to point that out. Now I am all self-conscious!

RyanJ · Coach

dc wrote:

On second thought, I hope you're not referring to me! I know I am often passionate about my views. If I come off wrong, please PM me! I certainly don't want to scare anyone, and I actually did censor myself recently by deleting a topic I'd posted because I thought it might be rankling some people: nobody was responding, either because it was annoying or because they were afraid. Or possibly because they didn't care... but I know that I need to be careful and I'll keep trying. Ugh... I know I am a blowhard sometimes. The trolls on Lucky were always "kind" enough to point that out. Now I am all self-conscious!

He he... I know sometimes I think about replying to the political topics, but decide otherwise. I am pretty active in politics and for the most part am a pretty easy going person, but can turn into a real bitch when it comes to politics.

I have never been offended when you have posted things about politics even if you do speak ill of my beloved "W". I actually look forward to your politcal post - I usallly don't agree, but enjoy reading viewpoints that are totally different then my own. Keep posting them because even if I don't respond I later mentally respond to you while I am running.

-- Edited by RyanJ at 18:46, 2005-06-28

dc · Dooney & Bourke

RyanJ wrote:

He he... I know sometimes I think about replying to the political topics, but decide otherwise. I am pretty active in politics and for the most part am a pretty easy going person, but can turn into a real bitch when it comes to politics. I have never been offended when you have posted things about politics even if you do speak ill of my beloved "W". I actually look forward to your politcal post - I usallly don't agree, but enjoy reading viewpoints that are totally different then my own. Keep posting them because even if I don't respond I later mentally respond to you while I am running.-- Edited by RyanJ at 18:46, 2005-06-28

LOL... well, ok, if I am helping to get your adrenaline up, that's ok! That said, we'd all love to hear your views as well (and I think our board has a fair number on both sides of the aisle), so maybe one day you'll feel like piping up and keeping us lefties in line.

I understand, though... sometimes one just doesn't feel like getting into a big debate. Even me!

theotherjess · Chanel

I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but maybe in a case where you feel another member is "attacking" you (for lack of a better word), PM them instead of getting into a big argument on the threads.

kenzie · Chanel

Okay, now I'm paranoid! I don't want anyone to take anything that I post the wrong way, either. I would never be intentionally rude or obnoxious. So, if you ever take issue with something I post, please PM me!!

rosie_the_riveter · Gucci

esquiress wrote:

i noticed. i noticed when someone called a bag a fellow st'er posted as "uuuuggggleee" and when that same someone said the girls here liked to "gloat." and i also noticed someone else act very hostile toward differing viewpoints when discussing lindsey lohan. it was weird, i'd never observed such animosity here before and to be honest, it made me kind of wary of new members, and i had to remind myself that i used to be new too and to not to let a couple bad apples ruin the bunch since the other new members all seem really great. but anyway, yeah...i noticed.

I had noticed some cattiness as well and had just been telling my husband that it's the reason why I hadn't really come on here or posted as much anymore. Esquiress, I think that you handled that post (above ^ ) in a really good way by saying that comments should be made in a nicer way. Now that this is being addressed I will certainly be back to Stylethread because you guys are the coolest

lindsayp · Kenneth Cole

NYLABELL-- YOU ROCK!! STOP FREAKING YOURSELF OUT!!!

kenzie · Chanel

lindsayp wrote:

NYLABELL-- YOU ROCK!! STOP FREAKING YOURSELF OUT!!!

Aw, thanks!

RyanJ · Coach

theotherjess wrote:

I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but maybe in a case where you feel another member is "attacking" you (for lack of a better word), PM them instead of getting into a big argument on the threads.

I think that is a really good idea. Once you have made contact w/ someone through a pm then they don't seem so anonymous anymore. I think it is harder to be a jerk to someone you "know".

I would also imagine the person who offended you would probably apologize because they didn’t mean to be a jerk and you will probably end up being closer to that person.

Just a thought.