STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

poptart · Coach

Need ideas... - UPDATE

blubirde · Chanel

RE: Need ideas...

Luv2Shop · Kate Spade

If you know him or anything about him and are comfortable talking to him find out what he likes or is good at, and find something having to do with that that you need "help" with.

If you go to school with him, ask him to help you with a certian subject or homework.
If you work with him, ask him to help you find something or help with your computer.
If he is strong, ask him for help moving something.
If he is athletic, tell him you need to learn how to play some sport better because you are playing with family or friends and need pointers.

Then make a "date" to have him help you with whatever it may be.

Men are VERY eager to show off their talents especially if it is something they are good at.
Plus it is a good way to get him alone or out of the context you are normally in together and flirt a bit more to see how he responds, if it doesn't seem reciprocal, no loss, he was only helping you as a friend. If something does happen, score!!

Good luck!
IF you need more specific advice, let us know how well you already know him, if you talk to him, and what he is into. Where you know him from.

Karina · Chanel

Is he a work mate or friend through friends?

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

I'm w/ karina, it helps to know how you know him so we can give you ideas that'll work in your situation.

In general, here are a couple of my principles when it comes down to it:

If it's meant to be it'll be. If it's not, it won't. I just basically try not to rush or push so I don't accidentally f*ck up a good thing. Along those lines...

When I'm about to do something I can't take back, I proceed w/ extreme caution. For example, you can always call him tomorrow. But once you do it, you can't take it back. So make sure to be sure. Along those lines...

It's not about playing hard to get--it's about being hard to get. As long as I value myself and am surrounded by people who value me too, he'll know to do the same. Along those lines...

I don't play "games," I'm not omniscient and not about to guess as to what "rules" are in his head. I just try to be true to myself. Along those lines...

most important: I always always always trust my instincts, if it feels wrong, it is. if it feels right, it is.

HTH!

-- Edited by esquiress at 18:49, 2005-06-23

poptart · Coach

Ha ha. I guess I was kinda vague! The thing is, since the big breakup I was whining about two months or so ago, I've gone out with several different guys - all of whom have been pretty assertive about pursuing me and asking me out. Which I like, but unfortunately I haven't really ended up liking any of them.

So, I have developed this crush-y interest in this guy (who I basically don't even know) - the one I'm posting about. He works at an establishment that I frequent, and I've chatted with him a few times, but that's it. I'm kind've like Esquiress - I just assume that if someone's interested they'll ask me out. I'm not averse to making a move, but I *won't* do it if it's someone that I think I might really like, because I think that would "wreck" things if we actually dated. (I know this is not being a good feminist and is just kind've weird, but whatever.) So normally I would let it go. But, one of my friends pointed out that he might be worried about seeming sleezy if he talks to me, since he works at this place.

Ugh. I hate pointless crushes.

splash · Kenneth Cole

I was thinking the same thing as your friend - he might be worried about saying something because he works there. Whatever you're already doing, I think you should go a little farther - ask him what he's doing over the weekend, mention some new movie you want to see, whatever it is.

poptart · Coach

RE: Need ideas... - UPDATE

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

yay!! keep doing whatever it is you're doing!

blubirde · Chanel

Yay! Whatever it is, it's working!

And you're not a dork. (I have this one covered.) I can't wait to see if he asks you out!