STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

I've had a few problems with inconsiderate/weird roomate situations.  And let me tell you, you HAVE to tell this girl how you feel right off the bat.  It will be easier now, and you'll all be a lot better off having said this from the beginning.  If you don't feel comfortable confronting her, talk to her in a group with your other roomates.  Trust me, you can't feel like a prisoner in your home.  The newbie may be surprisingly understanding.

He might be shy around you and your other roommates...just a thought.

OK, big incident this past Friday night.  I go to bed at around 2am after a nice night of staying in and drinking wine with friends- I have to wake up at 9am the next morning.  I hear someone pounding on the door at around 3:30-4am, and then the bf of our roomie is let inside.  He continues yelling curse words (F*ck, Shit!!) and yelling at her, telling her stuff like " I busted my arm for you" and "OWWWWWWWWW" and "Wrap it harder!!".  All at the top of his lungs.  It is really loud and when it wakes me up, I am kind of delusional because I'm in that half-awake state and I get really scared, so I just lie there until my other roomie M goes out there and asks if everything is ok, then it quiets down for a little.  Well, the next morning I am going downstairs to the lobby of the apartment, and the glass panel next to the door (you need a card to get into the door, but there is full length glass panel next to it) is COMPLETELY smashed.  There isn't a shard of glass next to the frame anymore, it is allllllllllll over the floor.  I knew instantly that it was this guy, he broke through because they got in a fight after drinking and she wouldn't let him in.  I was gone for a while, but my roomie M called to tell me that our third roommate came in this morning (she had spent the night at her boyfriends so she missed the fiasco) and called out our names in a scared voice.  M asks her why she sounds so scared and apparently there was a bloody handprint on our front door with blood dripping down it, as well as blood all over our carpet.  Ugh.  What a scary dude.  We don't even know what to do because this girl isn't our friend, just a random.  This is our second situation with a scary possesive bf basically "living" at our apartment.

lynnie wrote:

---

OK, big incident this past Friday night.  I go to bed at around 2am after a nice night of staying in and drinking wine with friends- I have to wake up at 9am the next morning.  I hear someone pounding on the door at around 3:30-4am, and then the bf of our roomie is let inside.  He continues yelling curse words (F*ck, Shit!!) and yelling at her, telling her stuff like " I busted my arm for you" and "OWWWWWWWWW" and "Wrap it harder!!".  All at the top of his lungs.  It is really loud and when it wakes me up, I am kind of delusional because I'm in that half-awake state and I get really scared, so I just lie there until my other roomie M goes out there and asks if everything is ok, then it quiets down for a little.  Well, the next morning I am going downstairs to the lobby of the apartment, and the glass panel next to the door (you need a card to get into the door, but there is full length glass panel next to it) is COMPLETELY smashed.  There isn't a shard of glass next to the frame anymore, it is allllllllllll over the floor.  I knew instantly that it was this guy, he broke through because they got in a fight after drinking and she wouldn't let him in.  I was gone for a while, but my roomie M called to tell me that our third roommate came in this morning (she had spent the night at her boyfriends so she missed the fiasco) and called out our names in a scared voice.  M asks her why she sounds so scared and apparently there was a bloody handprint on our front door with blood dripping down it, as well as blood all over our carpet.  Ugh.  What a scary dude.  We don't even know what to do because this girl isn't our friend, just a random.  This is our second situation with a scary possesive bf basically "living" at our apartment.

---

oh my god!!! that is so horrible- I would not put up with shit like that for one second. You say it's university housing- is there an RA or something you can complain to? when I was in college we had a similar "obnoxious boyfriend living there" situation that the roomie didn't care we had a problem with so we went to the RA and got her kicked out.

lynnie wrote:

---

OK, big incident this past Friday night.  I go to bed at around 2am after a nice night of staying in and drinking wine with friends- I have to wake up at 9am the next morning.  I hear someone pounding on the door at around 3:30-4am, and then the bf of our roomie is let inside.  He continues yelling curse words (F*ck, Shit!!) and yelling at her, telling her stuff like " I busted my arm for you" and "OWWWWWWWWW" and "Wrap it harder!!".  All at the top of his lungs.  It is really loud and when it wakes me up, I am kind of delusional because I'm in that half-awake state and I get really scared, so I just lie there until my other roomie M goes out there and asks if everything is ok, then it quiets down for a little.  Well, the next morning I am going downstairs to the lobby of the apartment, and the glass panel next to the door (you need a card to get into the door, but there is full length glass panel next to it) is COMPLETELY smashed.  There isn't a shard of glass next to the frame anymore, it is allllllllllll over the floor.  I knew instantly that it was this guy, he broke through because they got in a fight after drinking and she wouldn't let him in.  I was gone for a while, but my roomie M called to tell me that our third roommate came in this morning (she had spent the night at her boyfriends so she missed the fiasco) and called out our names in a scared voice.  M asks her why she sounds so scared and apparently there was a bloody handprint on our front door with blood dripping down it, as well as blood all over our carpet.  Ugh.  What a scary dude.  We don't even know what to do because this girl isn't our friend, just a random.  This is our second situation with a scary possesive bf basically "living" at our apartment.

---

Oh. My. Gosh. That's horrible. And there is no way that you should have to put up with that.  Is this apartment a dorm situation, with an RA? If so, I agree with the other girls about reporting him to the RA.  If not, tell your campus housing authority. If all else fails and he continues to break into your building and walk into your apartment uninvited, call the police! This guy is clearly out of control and dangerous.  Please keep us posted.

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 12:14, 2005-07-11

Thanks guys for the support.  The thing is- our lease, including hers, is only for another month.  We have an RA but its apartments, not dorms, so its not that personal.  Plus, we don't even know her, and she's ALWAYS with him, they are together 24-7, either having sex or fighting.  She is always joking around with him and hanging out, so I don't feel comfortable talking to her about it because it doesn't seem like she's miserable and we're not close with her.  She seems like the type that is addicted to drama, if you know what I mean... It just sucks because we DON'T like drama.

lynnie wrote:

---

Thanks guys for the support.  The thing is- our lease, including hers, is only for another month.  We have an RA but its apartments, not dorms, so its not that personal.  Plus, we don't even know her, and she's ALWAYS with him, they are together 24-7, either having sex or fighting.  She is always joking around with him and hanging out, so I don't feel comfortable talking to her about it because it doesn't seem like she's miserable and we're not close with her.  She seems like the type that is addicted to drama, if you know what I mean... It just sucks because we DON'T like drama.

---

Okay, the thing is, it doesn't matter that this chick is comfortable around him, he clearly has violent tendencies which could be directed toward anyone at anytime.  One month or one year, this is a bad situation and this guy is bad news.  I would still do everything within my power to keep him away, whether he's banned from the building or whatever.  If your roommate gets pissed, oh well, like you said, it's only one more month.  I would just want him far, far away from me.