STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

rar210 · Marc Jacobs

Perfect Age for Having A Child??

poptart · Coach

Never! Sorry, I don't want kids.

But, from watching other people, I'd say the ideal window is 29-35.

crystal · Kate Spade

my mom had me at 27 (rare for her day) & i came out perfect

so i'll say 27!

lynnie · Chanel

hmm , completely depends on the person. For ME, it would be 26-32? Depending on when I am married of course- I would want a couple of years to just spend with my husband before we started having kids.

mikacat · Coach

whatever is right for the woman, the couple and timing.

i used to think earlier --like late 20s early 30s but after dealing with infertility, I will be 35 when we adopt and that will be perfect for us!

shopgirl82 · Chanel

in the hospital AMA (advanced materal age) is 34. that means she is at greater risk for complications. in my experiences, this is usually not the case. i would change it to 37 or something. so don't freak out if anyone is 34 and having a kid!!

i think that 28 (for me) is the perfect age. that way if there is an issue like infertility, the couple has "more time" and possibly more options.

i think the bigger question is when should you have a second child. my mom has always said, don't have a second baby until the first one is AT LEAST 2.5 years old. at that age they can start putting on their shoes, being more of a help, etc...i've noticed this with baby-sitting too.

so how old are you rar210 and when do YOU think is the perfect age??

jen · Kate Spade

never. Sorry, that's just for me. I'd say later on in life. No offense to anyone, I know that there are many capable young parents out there but I just seem to respect older parents more. They have their education and job and have been married longer, they know more about life etc. I'd say around 30 is good, but my dad had me when he was 50! I wouldn't have it any other way!

ILoveChoo · Hermes

My friends and I have been talking about that recently too, for me I'd like to have my first around 27 (I am 22 right now and engaged, so this is reasonable) and my second around 30.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

shopgirl82 wrote:

in the hospital AMA (advanced materal age) is 34. that means she is at greater risk for complications. in my experiences, this is usually not the case. i would change it to 37 or something. so don't freak out if anyone is 34 and having a kid!!

To add an example, my Mom just had another baby at 41 and everything went perfectly well. (yeah, I have a one year old brother.

)

blink · Coach

I had my baby last year at age 28, I had been married five years. Now that I have him I really don't know why we waited so long to have one, we really could have managed it a few years earlier. A baby is life changing, but I don't miss much about my old life....except for sleep.

I personally think, unless one is still in "party mode" and going out a lot with single friends, the perfect age is 25 and married, because a lot of the couples I know were pretty mature by then, in a stable career with health insurance, purchased a home, might have calmed down their social life a bit, but still young enough to have a few years left to decide to have more kids with no pressure or "clock ticking."

Most of the girls in my social circle had their first baby at age 29 or 30.

rar210 · Marc Jacobs

I'm actually 22 (well 22 1/2). I have been married for 3 1/2 years. My husband and I have been dating since I was 16. Hanging out since I was 15. He's 28 right now (looks about 22). We only want one child and he's hoping that we can have it by the time he's 30. He had a fear of being an "old" dad. We own a nice home that we had built a couple years ago, we both have good jobs (he's a safety director for a construction company, I am an insurance agent and now a real estate agent!) we have good health insurance and are both pretty responsible and mature. So we've really been thinking about starting to try the end of next year/beginning of the following. A lot of my friends are pregnant/trying to become pregnant and most are around 24-26. The average in my community is probably between 20-26. I was just curious how others felt.

ShanKel · Kenneth Cole

Totally depends on the person. I think it depends on what you want out of life. Some people want to climb the career ladder and be financially set to raise a family but have the infertility issue to worry about; others want to start a family early while they have the energy and can still enjoy life at when they get older but it may be a bit of a financial struggle. I have a friend who is 26 with 3 children(her husband wants 3 more) and she loves being a young mother. If it was me I think someone would be checking me into an institution by now, but it works for her.

blubirde · Chanel

good lord! i'm 26 and i can't imagine having a baby anytime in the near future. of course, i don't really want kids (although i'm open to the possibility i might change my mind) so maybe it's a different point of view. of course, i didn't graduate law school until i was 24, so it would have been hard to have a marriage, a career, and be thinking about a family at that point. (or this point really.)

however, i do plan on freezing a few eggs around 30ish. i figure they'll still be ripe and all that jazz that way if i'm 40ish and wishing i had a little rugrat around i can dethaw those babies and pop 'em in the oven.

Karina · Chanel

I think anywhere between 21-30 is perfect... I understand that a lot of women wait to be established in their careers before you they have children, but who says you can't do both? I like being a young mom, I don't have that huge of an age gap with my children that I won't feel like I can connect with them. Plus, I would hate to wait until I was in my late 30s, early 40s to have children and not have enough energy to run around with them. My mom had me at 31 and my brothers at 37... she said if she could have done it over again, she would have started at 25, it was too hard on her with twins in her late 30s.

tri_sarah_tops · Marc Jacobs

I just turned 25 and have been married almost two years. I was thinking about trying to get pregnant later this fall, but I think I'd rather wait at least another year. My mom was 27 when she had me and she was 35 when she had my brother. Right now I just really enjoy spending time with my husband without worrying about the added responsibility of a child.

Meow · Coach

crystal wrote:

my mom had me at 27 (rare for her day) & i came out perfect so i'll say 27!

I was born when my mother was 37 so I would say 37 is a perfect age.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

Meow wrote:

crystal wrote: my mom had me at 27 (rare for her day) & i came out perfect so i'll say 27! I was born when my mother was 37 so I would say 37 is a perfect age.

I was born when my mother was 19. I'm gonna say that's probably NOT a good age.

honey · Gucci

i don't think there's a perfect age. it's such a life changing decision that i don't think you're ever really ready until you have a baby. also where you live/your peers, your circumstances, and what you want out of life play a huge role. only one of my peers has a child, and most of the parents i see with young children are older (like early 30's) so it seems more "normal" to me to wait until then if i decide to have kids. also the fact that i'm single plays a huge role. i *might* feel differently if i were married, but who knows. lastly there are so many things that i want out of life that come before having children, that i prefer to pursue those things over motherhood.

bluebirde -- i don't know if you were joking, but i totally plan on freezing some of my eggs (assuming it doesn't cost a fortune) around 30, just so i have a back up plan.

sfclinevandy · Coach

I think it depends on a person's background. I just turned 25 but my family expects me to be married and finished with my education (2 more years of law school from now) before I even consider children. Since I'm not even dating anyone now, that's not much of an issue. Besides, it's not that big of a deal to me (at least now). Of everyone I grew up with, some are married but no one has kids. People are busy in graduate schools, traveling, establishing careers, etc. So I guess for me and most people I know late 20s to early 30s is the norm.

However, I think it's alright to have kids when you are younger and you are married and your future is pretty much laid out for you. My parents have been together since they were 16, went to college together and got married 2 months after graduation. I was born 2 years later when my mom was 24 and dad was 23. My mom worked as a teacher until I was born and my dad was in med school so there really wasn't much uncertainty.

Irene · Dooney & Bourke

In my opinion, between 26 and 35 are the best ages. Most people are even really mature enough to have kids before then. There ARE exeptions of course. I am so glad I didn't have kids earlier. There is too much life to live and with kids, there are many things you cannot do. At least, not until they are much older.

We plan on trying for a baby no earlier than late next Spring. I will be 31 and DH will be 34.

-- Edited by Irene at 16:08, 2005-06-22