STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

RE: Perfect Age for Having A Child??

blubirde · Chanel

honey wrote:

bluebirde -- i don't know if you were joking, but i totally plan on freezing some of my eggs (assuming it doesn't cost a fortune) around 30, just so i have a back up plan.

I totally wasn't joking. I really AM going to do it. It's my back up plan too - just in case.

halleybird · Hermes

I am 25 and I have been married for a year, dated my husband for almost 10 years. I don't want to think about kids for another 3-4 years -- I like the idea of kids but I do not have any sort of maternal desire. There is so much I want to do before having to put someone else first in my life.

That said, my sister-in-law is barely 23, and she has two of her own kids and one stepson, and she loves it. Different strokes, I guess.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I agree with all the other girls, it depends on the person/couple. I will be 26 in August and have been married about six years and I am planning on being pregnant in the next couple months (finishing out my last pack of pills). And we're hoping for a baby girl (for all the pink of course ). I am so excited to become a mom!

I'm glad we waited as long as we have because we got to enjoy each other and the freedom of just getting up and doing whatever at the spur of the moment. And we've got to work out the kinks of married life, become solid in our relationship. But we're ready for that next step, and I think becoming parents will bring us even closer.

Karina · Chanel

Halleybird, like you, I had no maternal desire whatsoever, but I swear when you see your child for the very first time, it is like no other feeling. I love being a mom, I love seeing my child develop and learn new things.

FP - I'm so excited for you! Can't wait to hear updates!

Cortney1982 · Chanel

I think the perfect age is 21-30. I don't want to be old and have kids! I must have my first by the time I am 25. I think about this plenty times a day! I get so envious when I see other parents with their children! I also think it's important to be financially stable first. It's such bull when people say income doesn't matter whether you should have children or not! I don't think a living in a dump, being unable to properly provide food, clothing, and healthcare, will make a healthy and happy child!

MissMee · Kate Spade

I had my first at 22, my second at 27, and my third at 28. I think 22 was a little young because I was still fairly selfish, but I'm also glad to be this "young" with a 7 year old! The other two probably came at a great age for me because I was done with my selfish stage. Kids are great, but they are also a LOT of work and trouble. There are days you want to strangle them, and there are days they are perfect angels. I've become such a worrywart - are they going to fall down the stairs and be parylized? Are they going to get lost in the woods? Are they going to get run over? Are they sleeping soundly, or did they smother themselves with a pillow? All those irrational fears that turn a mother's hair gray and make her naggy. Ahh, motherhood!

rlutz · Chanel

I really think it depends on tthe person and whre they are in their life right now....A few years ago, I was not ready for kids...my career was very busy and my marriage was falling apart....but now, I am 29 and married to a man that I love so much, my carrer is stable and I am very ready to have kids...we just started trying...so keep your fingers crossed for us...

Elle · Hermes

I agree with you Rlutz (and the others) who have said that it depends on where you are in your life and your relationship with your spouse. If I was being terribly general, I'd say sometime between 26 and 36.

Personally though, I'm kind of in a similar situation as Rar210 in that I'm very young but settled enough that it would be a possibility to try much earlier than the general 'ideal' age. My FH just got a really great job and we're getting married in just over a year so we're saving all our 'extra' money for that - once it's out of the way (!) all the money were saving for our wedding we'll be saving for a house. After that we'll be pretty much set to start trying, and I'll only be 23/24.

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

My mom was 21 when she had me, and she says that she's glad she had her children so young. She says she had a lot more energy than she would have had had she had us in her 30s. But for me, I'll wait. For one, I want to go to grad school and I'll be about 28 by the time I get out. And there's no way I'm having a kid in grad school. I figure I'll probably be around 30. OF course, that's assuming I have a husband. I do feel some pressure to get married and have kids younger, but I just don't see that working for me.

halleybird · Hermes

Karina wrote:

Halleybird, like you, I had no maternal desire whatsoever, but I swear when you see your child for the very first time, it is like no other feeling. I love being a mom, I love seeing my child develop and learn new things. FP - I'm so excited for you! Can't wait to hear updates!

I am sure that's true...I am just not one of those people who coos at other people's babies on the street, or likes to go to baby showers.

I can't imagine you feeling that way, though -- you are such a devoted mom!

Karina · Chanel

halleybird wrote:

Karina wrote:
Halleybird, like you, I had no maternal desire whatsoever, but I swear when you see your child for the very first time, it is like no other feeling. I love being a mom, I love seeing my child develop and learn new things. FP - I'm so excited for you! Can't wait to hear updates!

I am sure that's true...I am just not one of those people who coos at other people's babies on the street, or likes to go to baby showers.
I can't imagine you feeling that way, though -- you are such a devoted mom!

thanks babe. trust me, i was the anti-mom! i have done a total 360!

Lilykind · Hermes

My mom had me when she was 42 and I came out perfect.

That said...if I have kids at all, I would want to be between 29-35. I'll probably be around 24-25 when I get married so I defintely want a few years of just me and hubby before even thinking about kids. Even then, I'd only want one or two. Any more and I think I'll flip.

erin · Chanel

my husband always said we would try for when i was 28. (we were married when i was 23) we are now considering it a year earlier because we both feel ready.

i think the perfect age is whenever you feel ready. whether single, married or in a long term relationship.

bex · Chanel

my mom had my brother and sister at 18 and 19 and then me at 38. she said there are def. advantages to having them younger and having them older- but overall- she picked the older age as the better one to have a child. and i have to agree with her. i want to do so much more with my life right now and children don't fit in those plans. perhaps after i turn 30, i'll think about it more, but for right now, i have no desire to be a mother. (p.s. I am 26 currently)