STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

lynnie · Chanel

engagements after college?

HeatherLynn · Gucci

Ugh. I am currently having this happen to me. I just graduated in May and I have been to way to many weddings!!!

Andrea Julia · Coach

n/m

-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 23:32, 2006-01-28

splash · Kenneth Cole

Yes! I'm in college, and both people I know from high school and a lot of people at my school are very much about getting married soon. It's an ivy school - according to stereotypes, I would have thought that people there would be more focused on career and not really think about serious relationships until grad school, but there are a lot of people who have very serious relationships and are engaged at 20 yrs, often to their high school sweethearts.

jacL · Coach

That is surprising to me. I too just got out of college and only have one friend who is getting married (next fall) and another who is thinking about it, but so far I am the only one who knows besides the two involved and her mother. I have been with my BF for six years and want to get married but not for a long time. I couldn't imagine getting married right now simply because we are so in debt.

kenzie · Chanel

I'm 25 and I don't have many single friends left either. It's so frustrating. It seems like for a while women were marrying later, but there seems to be a backlash against that where there are masses of early 20-somethings tying the knot. I read an article about this in a magazine recently (Cosmo or Glamour). A wedding planner was quoted as citing Jessica Simpson as the main reason b/c of the Newlyweds show. She was only, what, 21/22 when she got married? Crazy. I'm 25 and I feel like an old maid (even though I shouldn't at all).

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i'm 23 and i feel like all my friends are getting married.

my YOUNGER cousin just got engaged (and i have been dating my bf for over 4 years longer than her and her fiance) so recently at a family get together, i got asked a gazillion times when am i going to get married?

is it wrong that i don't feel a need to be engaged at 23?? everyone else seems to think so. my bf's uncle made a comment about how, "my clock is ticking". um...what???? he'll be 29 soon, but i still feel like i want to wait a couple years....i never thought that i was going to have to "justify" my decision at 23.

Lilykind · Hermes

I literally just turned 20 and all my friends are getting married around me! What's even crazier is that they've all been with their respective husbands even less than I've been dating my BF! I just went to a friend's wedding...had to refuse another...I know at least two people who have gotten married already and I'm starting to believe that engagement rings grow on left ring fingers considering how often I'm seeing them.

I'm happy that my family isn't rushing me to get engaged to my BF at all or anything (although they adore him )...we've been dating since Septembe 2001 but I feel no need to be engaged or to be married right now just because everyone else is.

Chic · Marc Jacobs

My friends and I are the opposite. We are all getting married now, I am almost 29. I have been with my fiance the longest, almost 7 years, but we are the last ones to get married.

On the other hand though I just got my high school newsletter and there are so many people way younger than me married and already have kids. I do think it is weird!

bex · Chanel

i am 26 and all of my close friends from college are not engaged... but my friends (who are not so much anymore) from HS all are married and working on their 3rd or 4th kids... everytime my mom tells me about someone else i graduated with having a kid or getting married, my reply is "why?"

but we have to remember that some people want this and others (us) don't. we don't understand them as much as they don't understand us...

erin · Chanel

a friend from college used to joke that a lot of girls went there to get their "m.r.s." degree.

killa · Dooney & Bourke

Well, I just turned 29 and just broke up with another bf.

I want marriage, but it scares me, too.

I figure I will be getting married when all of my friends are getting divorced from their first husbands. Hee hee

It is best to do it when it is best for YOU, not when everyone else is doing it.
While a lot of my friends are married, and I want to get married, I just don't feel like it is my time ... yet. I am glad that I am waiting for the RIGHT ONE.

Hey buddy, if you're out there, give me a call.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

shopgirl82 wrote:

i'm 23 and i feel like all my friends are getting married. my YOUNGER cousin just got engaged (and i have been dating my bf for over 4 years longer than her and her fiance) so recently at a family get together, i got asked a gazillion times when am i going to get married? is it wrong that i don't feel a need to be engaged at 23?? everyone else seems to think so. my bf's uncle made a comment about how, "my clock is ticking". um...what???? he'll be 29 soon, but i still feel like i want to wait a couple years....i never thought that i was going to have to "justify" my decision at 23.

the same thing happened to me when i was 22 and at a cousin's wedding (i am 28 now). i'd been with my boyfriend at the time for 3.5 years and my great aunt came up to me and said "you're next!" at the reception, which was so annoying. and my dad got so annoyed he avoided her for the rest of the night. i felt the same way as you, shopgirl82. it's strange what people feel comfortable saying to you, the most personal questions or remarks. when my younger brother got married, relatives kept asking me if i felt "weird" about him getting married before me. why do people assume that?

anyway -- i agree that what's most important is to do it when it's right for you and you meet the right person. if i'd married that boyfriend i had when i was 22, it would have been a huge mistake. it sounds cheesy but you have to wait for the right person, and when you do it's worth it. i do still have un-married, un-engaged friends and relatives, but people are gradually pairing off. it does seem to me that more of my high school friends are married than my college friends.

honey · Gucci

i'm 25 and very few people i know are married. of the people that i went to school with, only 2 people who were in my circle (i.e. i knew them) have gotten married, and i think one is engaged. but in general few people are in serious relationships.

i don't know, i can't fathom being married at 22 (actually i can't fathom being married now). i personally feel that people change so much in their 20's that it's hard to make such a huge commitment b/c you don't even really know how you'll turn out, let alone the person you're marrying. but people have to do what works for them.

-- Edited by honey at 10:24, 2005-06-21

kenzie · Chanel

erin wrote:

a friend from college used to joke that a lot of girls went there to get their "m.r.s." degree.

Haha! We used to say this, too.

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

Okay, I'm glad to hear it's not just my friends! All my closest friends have always said they don't want to get married til at LEAST late 20's, but my guy friends want to wait till their mid-30s. Which, in CA, I think is a good idea, b/c it's so expensive to live here, and I can't imagine marrying someone now with no savings, no established career, etc. But I'm going to wedding numero uno July 3rd, and have heard of several people from my high school who are already married. I also have heard of several engagements in the works. It's freaking me out a little bit!!!! But maybe that's just me...I actually have nightmares about getting married sometimes.

cc · Marc Jacobs

I'm 27 and only one of my friends is married and I can't think of any married people in my extended circle. I don't keep in touch with many people from my h.s. but of the 40 or so girls in my graduating class I think only two of them have gotten married.

I'm sure if tons of my friends got married right after college part of me would be surprised/silently judging but like many of you I would probably just feel like I was losing my social life and that I was the odd one out!

pixie · BCBG

I'm 29 and have a mixed group. It's sad because a lot of my friends who did get married early are now getting divorced. Personally, I've never wanted to get married while I was young. Maybe that would've been different if I had met the one, which still hasn't happened.:)

Metric · Gucci

My best gf, all she ever wanted out of life was to get married and have kids, which she achieved before she turned 19. When she got engaged I had a small party for her and most of her hs friends were also engaged or married. If I had a nickle for every time one of her friends said to me "don't worry, someday you might find someone..." I would be a very rich woman. Not to mention I was only 19 at the time. I look back on it now (and now that most of them are getting divorced at 25, 26) and think what a stupid bunch of little girls. They thought they were so worldly and experienced. You change so much in your 20's that getting married that early in unfathomable to me.

Although, my opinion may be slightly biased since I never really want to get married.

blubirde · Chanel

bex wrote:

i am 26 and all of my close friends from college are not engaged... but my friends (who are not so much anymore) from HS all are married and working on their 3rd or 4th kids... everytime my mom tells me about someone else i graduated with having a kid or getting married, my reply is "why?" but we have to remember that some people want this and others (us) don't. we don't understand them as much as they don't understand us...

It's the same for me. I'm 26 and most of my good friends don't even have boyfriends, although a few do. My best friend, however, was the last one out of all of us anyone thought would get married. But in October, she'll officially be a wife. It's kind of disturbing actually. Luckily she's got no interest in kids, if ever, so I'm still 0 for 0 in that department.