STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

I'm really upset

member · Hermes

((((((( Hugs )))))))) I'm so sorry to hear you're having a tough time w/things. Don't worry about the girl at work...you had the clearance to send her home, so you did the right thing - don't stress over something she caused. Not your fault!!

I hope your mom is ok. You sound like you're a wonderful daughter and you're doing all you can. She's very luck to have you. Don't let your brother make you feel so terrible I think your mom is probably just trying to make things a little easier on you.

Hang in there and keep us posted with everything. Try to get some sleep too - I hope you feel better

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

oh, my heart goes out to you, brazen. you have so much on your plate right now and of course you feel overwhelmed and upset. anyone would. you are being a wonderful, supportive daughter to your mom. she is so lucky to have you! in fact, from what you have said, i would bet that everyone in your life is lucky to have you. you sound like such a caring person.

you are doing the best you can and that's all anyone can expect from you. is there anything in your life that you can let slide for the time being? the situation at work sounds really stressful -- maybe you could take a day or two off to just collect yourself, or even just an afternoon to go home and sleep. when you're this tired it's impossible to see anything positive. believe me, i turn into a weepy mess when i'm over-tired and stressed! can you ask your boss to help you out with this back-talking employee?

as for the situation with your mom, maybe she was just scared and not explaining herself to your brother clearly. i don't know the dynamics in your family, but if you explain to your brother what happened i think he'd see your side. with everyone worried and anxious misunderstandings can get so magnified and feelings get more hurt more easily. it sounds like your mom didn't want to burden you, but then the aftermath just ended up making you feel worse.

the work day is almost over -- just sit tight and try to ride it out until you can go home and relax. order in some dinner and take a nice bath, or anything that makes you feel better. does your SO know how bad you're feeling?

poptart · Coach

I am so sorry. It sounds like one of those situations where you just have to hang in there and have faith in yourself that you're strong enough to get through this (and you are, really).

I agree that you probably need to consider what's *really* worth worrying about in this situation and let the rest go. My thoughts are that your coworker situation, while unfortunate, is just not your problem to worry about right now. I say cross that bridge when it comes to it. As far as your Mom goes, I agree that you have every right to be both upset and worried about her health as well as frustrated with how she is treating you (in terms of including you in decisions, etc.) If she is going to stabilize in the near future, I would wait to bring up your feelings with her, but if this is going to be an ongoing situation, I would talk to her now about including you in things.

Can your SO help take some of the burden off of you? Maybe take care of dinners/house stuff for the rest of the week or sit with you at the hospital to help you de-stress?

Hope this helps. Take care of yourself!

kenzie · Chanel

Wow, that is alot going on. I'm sorry to hear about all that. {{{hugs}}}

Pepper · Kenneth Cole

BrazenCanadian - I'm so sorry that you are so overwhelmed w/ a lot of stuff. It sounds like you are doing the best you can possibly handle being one individual. I wish the best to your mom. Don't forget to think of yourself through this rough time - take some time to do something you really love that will relax you and rejuvinate you. Any amount of time - 10mins. to an hour. I wish you the best.

atlgirl · Gucci

That girl at work was *completely* out of line. Don't feel guilty about sending her home. Guilt is a useless emotion and with all that you have going on right now, don't bother wasting your stretched emotional state on feeling guilty. It's not always fun to be the boss but you DID confront her - even though you don't like confrontation - give yourself a big pat on the back for that. Trust me, it will earn / keep you respect from other employees / higher ups. My husband has a situation at work where his boss - a company VP - refuses to ever confront someone; she wants / needs to be liked so badly. It's caused untold problems in the local office and people have even left because they are disgusted with her perceived doormatish-ness. You did the right thing.

As far as your mom - all I can say is try to be patient with her. I don't know why she would have given your bro a poor impression about you leaving to get some rest - maybe the conversation between them was misconstrued? That has happened occasionally in my family...anyway, you are doing all you can and I know you are taking the best possible care of your mother.

It sounds like you are taking care of everyone but you - hopefully you can find even a few minutes during the day to rest, calm yourself, destress a bit. Even five minutes of meditation can work wonders for a person's state of mind (you'd be surprised how loooonog five minutes really is if you don't meditate regularly); you might just try that. Sometimes when I need a moment, I set a timer for five minutes, sit in a quiet spot, and clear my mind - every time a thought comes in, I actively work to push it out for those five minutes. It sounds dorky but it does help.

I hope things get better for you very soon! *hugs*

Drew · Gucci

Oh, wow, I just responded to your checking up on me with a long, whiney post. NOw I read your post and feel like my problems are so superficial compared to your problems.

You have every reason to be wigging out. It's pretty damned freaky to have someone so close -and who could be closer in that way then Mom? - have a medical problem that you don't even know about and have to learn what it is while you deal with it. Not easy. As for your mom, I could see a lot of mom's doing that. I'm sure your mom really had your best interests at heart when she told you to leave and left you out of the decision making process. Now you know not to listen to her when she tells you she's all right. Just follow your instincts about how to deal with mom. She will be ok so long as she is getting proper care. As for your brother, tell him to just clamp his mouth when he wants to berete you for not giving your mom enough care. Remind him who was at the hospital before mom called. Let him know you need to work as a team right now because you are sick with grief and all of you really just need to support each other as best you can. In tough situations people tend to fight and waste their precious energy. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in that; just let them get what they have to say out, and find someone else (us!) to vent to about them. It's ok. It will be ok.

As for the girl at work, my goodness, stop feeling guilty! Can you imagine telling your supervisor to F- off? I am assuming no, so don't worry. There are consequences for our actions and you just showed that girl her consequences. When she comes back don't even give her an inch and certainly don't apologize.

Best to you and mom.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

(((Big hugs))) I'll keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

oh my gosh, so much sadness! i will also keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers. stay strong and know we're here for you.

Cricket · Gucci

Wow. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. This is a lot to tackle at once. Please take care of yourself. I know you want to be there at all hours for your mom, but you'll be better help to her if you're rested and have had a little more downtime than it sounds like you've been having lately. As for the coworker, I agree w/ Lisa. Try to let that situation fall on the back burner. You had every right to do what you did. She was way out of line and lucky she didn't get fired. I hope you feel better soon. Please vent away!

Karina · Chanel

I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through. BIG HUGS and prayers going your way.

halleybird · Hermes

We are all here for you. I am sorry for what you're going through. When it rains, it pours -- but it will clear. Thoughts & prayers to you & your mom.