STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

JMR · Dooney & Bourke

mini vent - Do I have to plan EVERYTHING??

mikacat · Coach

jmr-

if you were in NC, i would plan you a shower and it would be Awesome!

SURELY, someone is planning you a shower though.

Maybe a surprise???

i can't imagine that they aren't.

Do your friends think that it is against Jewish customs or something. Not to be an idiot but I wasn't really sure and had to ask you about it b/c I didn't want to send you a gift if it was something inappropriate.

don't plan your own shower.....really and truly, someone will throw you one. What about your friends from work or cousins or good girlfriends. Have you dropped a hint?

Drew · Gucci

Awww! You know what? It's probably because you are the best at it. I bet you do such a bang up job planning parties that everyone thinks their party would pale in comparison and they are just intimidated.

dot · Marc Jacobs

Drew wrote:

Awww! You know what? It's probably because you are the best at it. I bet you do such a bang up job planning parties that everyone thinks their party would pale in comparison and they are just intimidated.

totally true! just let them know that whatever they plan will be excellent! or if you really want to do something special just give them a general idea of what you would like to do. what really matters is everyone just getting together and having fun. who cares who plans it or what they plan. it will be a blast!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

JMR · Dooney & Bourke

Thank you Mikacat - you are such a sweet - thoughtful friend!!

It is an old school jewish tradition to not have a baby shower - but over the years that has changed a lot. Some women have them - some dont.

I told my friends and family I don't mind either way - whatever they feel is appropriate. FIne. So My mom wanted to plan one - then my MIL told my mom it wasn't proper for the family to throw it - that my friends should. So my mom contacted my friends, and they told her its her job to throw it. No one seemed to want to do it - there was a lot of drama and finger pointing so I told them all to forget it. (The last resort was when my mom said - why dont we do it together - which really means I was going to do it - plan my own shower??? I dont think so - TACKY!!) I was really hurt - not by not having a shower - but that I had to get involved in the drama and no one wanted to do it.

My husband and I decided that after the baby is born - we will have a get together - a traditional baby naming ceremony so everyone can meet the baby at that point...and I will plan that.

Im just a little sad about it all - I recently planned and hosted a 50th bday for my aunt - bday party for my dad - mothers day - fathers day - a retirement party for my MIL - YES, I like doing it - so everyone always turns to me...I am flattered. But I would think between all of them, they could put their heads together and come up with something fun, I don't mind being involved...but I know the burden is going to fall on me.

JMR · Dooney & Bourke

well of COURSE I am the best at it...hahaha jk!!

I guess its a pregnancy thing too -I will be 8 months pregnant - planning and shopping and all that it entails is really get harder and harder as time goes on.

But regardless...I am not going to let it spoil my bday - I will come up with something (suggestions??) and that will be that...

Karina · Chanel

Hon, I know exactly what you mean. It is the same thing with me and my family, Vin and friends. I think it's because I am total type - A personality and everytime I plan something, it goes well and without problems, while any time someone else plans it, something goes wrong.

I say you go to Serendipity with your friends and get a huge frozen hot chocolate. I have been craving one so bad - Tuesday was Vin and I's 5th yr dating anniversary, so I think we are going this weekend.

XOXOXOX

FashionPrincess · Hermes

Oh my gosh! I would totally hop on a plane and come plan a baby shower for you if I could! I'm with Mikacat, maybe someone is planning a surprise shower.

Irene · Dooney & Bourke

JMR - I will plan your birthday party! Or even better, we can go to the Hamptons for a spa day (as you are pregnant, I am sure you could use it) and lunch at some hoity toity cafe.

Cricket · Gucci

I hope someone is planning a surprise shower. You do have some time left!

HeatherLynn · Gucci

For your 30th bday why dont you get together with some girls and go for a spa day and then meet up with all the guys for a nice dinner and then a night out at someplace like a piano bar.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

jmr, i'm so sorry! this sucks! i wish there was a way we could throw you a "virtual" baby shower...hmm...

anyway, i think the problem is this--they just don't know what to do w/o you. it's like you're the glue that binds everyone together and makes it all work. maybe you could do this--pick a good, reliable friend (maybe your best friend or maybe someone else) and secretly plan the shower w/ that person. and have that person delegate duties to your other friends or family. that way you're not the "go to gal" but still have plenty of input.

for example, my best friend throws me my birthday parties for appearances' sake (it's always her name that's under r.s.v.p. on the invitations, etc.) but really we plan it together. if she finds cute invites or thinks of a cool place or whatever, she runs it by me first. no one's the wiser and it always assures me a fabulous birthday party. maybe this could work for you?

-- Edited by esquiress at 19:15, 2005-06-16