STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

I dont have any advice or knowledge on this except that it is highly illegal and if anyone found out what you were doing and reported you, you could potential go to jail.  Since you have posted it on this forum it would be easy for someone to trace it back to who you really are.  I wouldnt do it if I were you.  It's nice in thought, but not a good idea in reality.

Why doesn't your friend marry him?  I definitely would not do it under any circumstances.

I don't think your marrying him is a good idea under any circumstances. I am not wholly sure about immigration rules, but after he gets the green card as a nurse and has it for a while, he can apply for naturalization, right?

BTW, what does he want to teach? If he needs to study he could apply for a student visa while majoring in education.

-- Edited by Lilykind at 20:29, 2005-06-15

be aware that it would be a pretty big commitment. it's not like you get married, poof, he gets his green card and that's the end of that. My husband is canadian and even though our marriage is real, we had to go through the whole immigration thing together. you will have to attend a few interviews with the immigration department over the course of a few years during those interviews you would have to show them proof of a "real" marriage - bills, joint accounts, wedding invitation and receipts, even photographs. They have even been known to separate couples and ask each person, for instance, what toothpaste the other uses or what you guys had for dinner last night, to see if your "stories" match. if they have any reason to believe your marriage is a sham, as heatherlynn said, you guys could get in big trouble. Also, your friend is gay, so on top of lying to immigration about being a real married couple, he would have to pretend he was straight.

Luckily, when we had our interviews, they did not separate us, but even as a real couple, the whole thing made us pretty nervous (well, him more than me. he's very neurotic). We even brought our wedding album to show them. It's kind of funny now that I look back on it. anyway, he became a permanent alien for about two years (maybe more?) and then finally got his green card only two years ago!

Just to be sure - your American friend is a guy, and his boyfriend is here illegally - since they're gay the American can't marry his bf. Right?

It's really wonderful of you to think about this. BUT - there's a whole lot more to it than just signing some document. A friend of mine thought about marrying someone to help her immigrate, but he realized that it can get really complicated. Even though he figured they could just get a divorce later and the marriage would only be official (and he's gay, so he's not planning to get married anytime soon), it's not so easy... And (I don't like to mention this, but) being married to the person would give him a lot of power over you, financially and otherwise.

i work in immigration law, don't do it! as others have pointed out it's really not a good idea. they are really, really strict about the whole marriage thing, and it's a pretty intense process.  also just from what you basically said, it doesn't sound like he's completely out of options. i'm going to send you a pm.

thank you girls so much for the posts... and ur right, i dunno what the hell i was thinking posting cuz my pic & name are right there for the world to see!!  duh!  anyways, the one that hit me the most was "what if they broke up?"... thanks cricket!  i never thought about that!  see, that's why i posted i guess, cuz i really never knew the downside of this before.  i guess i knew it was illegal, but i mean it's not like i was gonna marry bin laden or something!  i would only be doing it cuz gay marriage is not an option (but now that i think about it, i wonder if my friend would marry his bf in this situation if it were legal... i mean basically that is what i'm doing cuz if i married this guy it would be under the assumption that he & my friend would be together forever, or at least a few years).  ok, well thanks again ladies... i realize how silly an idea it was now!  i just thought it would be like giving blood... if i don't need it (and i won't be getting married anytime soon so i don't need my "freedom") & someone else can benefit, then why not?  now i see why not!!

ETA:  anyone know how to delete a whole post?  i kinda feel weird having this out in the open now!

-- Edited by crystal at 10:56, 2005-06-16