STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

splash · Kenneth Cole

ideal man?

lynnie · Chanel

taller than me by at least an inch (my bf is only an inch or two taller- i would normally prefer taller guys but splash is right- when you find the right one you don't care ), dark hair, pretty eyes, ability to grow facial hair quickly, some chest hair, strong arms, nice hands, pillowy lips and pretty smile, kind to people/my friends, awesome sense of humor/sarcasm, adventurous, intelligent, liberal, honest and trustworthy, musical or artistic, doesn't try to impress people, sensible with money but not a workaholic, says cute things to me

hehe, basically my bf.

sfclinevandy · Coach

-Tall

-Well educated... good college and preferably a graduate degree

-Professional (preferably lawyer or doctor)

-Nice family

-Funny in smartass kind of way

-Athletic (Every guy I've gone out with is major jock)

-Dresses conservatively (No tattoos, man jewelry, piercings)

-Not too liberal and not too conservative (middle of the road like me)

-Goal-oriented and successful

-Responsible and level headed

-Good dancer

*I know I ask for a lot... BUT I fit into each of these categories so why shouldn't the guy I want?

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

- Muscles - football players are a big thing for me

- Laid back, willing to be spontaneous, and accepting of other people's (and mine!) quirks

- Capable and the type to keep things taken care of - I hate bad drivers, men who can't fix things and other whiny types who let their house and stuff turn to shit.

- Someone who knows what to do and how to manage his life to keep himself happy - it should be obvious but over and over I date the guy who is waiting for his life to happen to him.

RyanJ · Coach

Tall
Geeky/nerdy/punkish
in a band or artistic
easy going
NOT JEALOUS/protective
No meatheads
conservative
sense of humour
smart
spoils me
not romantic- no walks on beaches or candle light dinners

My bf is probably as pretty close to all of those things as I am going to get

-- Edited by RyanJ at 10:31, 2005-06-06

Kel · Coach

Someone who is at least 5'10

Someone who is not a couch potato

Semi-preppy but not abercrombish either

Someone who is manly, i feel like they can protect me

Brown hair/green eyes

Inventive and crafty

Goofy and likes to laugh and have fun

Sociable

Surpises me with little things, like cooking dinner on a random night or suprising me with a box of chocolate, nothing big just to show me that he cares/listening

Someone who is smart and I can have a conversation with, not to smart but someone who is at the same intelligence level as I am.

Someone who recognizes all my not so good qualities and thinks that they are cute. (That way they can't get really mad at you for doing something)

I think that is it.

blubirde · Chanel

I'd just like to start out by saying I don't have an ideal man. There are all kinds of different guys I like, physically speaking. The only "no" is super muscular. I hate big muscles. And short. I like a man who is 6'+ but as long as they're taller than me, I'm okay. But here are the personality specifics that are a MUST:

~ damn funny. i prefer wit, cleverness, sarcasm, intelligent humor, etc., but if they make me laugh on a regular basis, anything will work.

~ super smart. i think i'm a pretty smart gal so i want someone who is at least as smart as i am. it's funny actually. the only men i've ever fallen for are men who i've considered smarter than me. weird. i guess i'm more attracted to intelligence than i realized! added: i want someone who is smart in ways i'm not smart. i want someone who can open my eyes and teach me new things.

~ spontaneous. i want someone who can get up at 10 o'clock at night and go to the bookstore because they suddenly have a hankering for an old hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. or the movie place at midnight because they all of a sudden have to watch some crazy shaw brothers film.

~ creative. i prefer someone who can play an instrument but any kind of artistic endeavor works. visual artist, sound artist, writer, whatever. i just want someone who has creative juices and knows how to use them.

~ passionate. he has to be passionate about something. doesn't matter what it is - politics, pop culture, film, music, etc. just something that makes him come alive. (ideally it's something i'm not passionate about just in case we have opposing opinions.)

~ inherently kind. i want to be with someone who genuinely cares if he's hurt my feelings or someone else's feelings. someone who can get past the heat of anger and come around to realize what the right thing is. someone who is just downright nice.

~ good manners. guy has to be able to know which fork to use and to hold a door open for me. (not all the time, of course, and i can hold the door for him, but if he's at the door first, he better have it open for me!) this is the one that i've grown to appreciate in my old (gasp!) age. used to never matter but i like someone who has a bit of "suaveness" about him.

~ open-minded and liberal in politics.

i think that's all. that's a lot when i look back at it! no wonder i can't seem to get worked up about any guy i meet. although i have to agree with sfclinevandy - if i can be these things (and i think i am) why can't he?

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

I don't like to list qualities, really, because I feel like either they are obvious (smart, funny, etc) or nitpicky... however I was just thinking today that my boyfriend has ruined me forever for men who are not musicians. This is a serious problem, as I do not want to become some sad demented groupie type who walks a beat outside CBGB's and Arlene's in a tight T-shirt, and makes eyes at anyone carrying a guitar case...

jah · Dooney & Bourke

blubirde wrote:

I'd just like to start out by saying I don't have an ideal man. There are all kinds of different guys I like, physically speaking. The only "no" is super muscular. I hate big muscles. And short. I like a man who is 6'+ but as long as they're taller than me, I'm okay. But here are the personality specifics that are a MUST: ~ damn funny. i prefer wit, cleverness, sarcasm, intelligent humor, etc., but if they make me laugh on a regular basis, anything will work. ~ super smart. i think i'm a pretty smart gal so i want someone who is at least as smart as i am. it's funny actually. the only men i've ever fallen for are men who i've considered smarter than me. weird. i guess i'm more attracted to intelligence than i realized! added: i want someone who is smart in ways i'm not smart. i want someone who can open my eyes and teach me new things. ~ spontaneous. i want someone who can get up at 10 o'clock at night and go to the bookstore because they suddenly have a hankering for an old hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. or the movie place at midnight because they all of a sudden have to watch some crazy shaw brothers film. ~ creative. i prefer someone who can play an instrument but any kind of artistic endeavor works. visual artist, sound artist, writer, whatever. i just want someone who has creative juices and knows how to use them. ~ passionate. he has to be passionate about something. doesn't matter what it is - politics, pop culture, film, music, etc. just something that makes him come alive. (ideally it's something i'm not passionate about just in case we have opposing opinions.) ~ inherently kind. i want to be with someone who genuinely cares if he's hurt my feelings or someone else's feelings. someone who can get past the heat of anger and come around to realize what the right thing is. someone who is just downright nice. ~ good manners. guy has to be able to know which fork to use and to hold a door open for me. (not all the time, of course, and i can hold the door for him, but if he's at the door first, he better have it open for me!) this is the one that i've grown to appreciate in my old (gasp!) age. used to never matter but i like someone who has a bit of "suaveness" about him. ~ open-minded and liberal in politics. i think that's all. that's a lot when i look back at it! no wonder i can't seem to get worked up about any guy i meet. although i have to agree with sfclinevandy - if i can be these things (and i think i am) why can't he?

Well, blubirde...it is too bad you don't live in ATL. My good friend fits your description perfectly!

lilmissdiva · Kenneth Cole

splash wrote:

I read somewhere that you know you've found a great guy when he doesn't fit your ideal description and you don't care.. -- Edited by splash at 19:37, 2005-06-06-- Edited by splash at 19:40, 2005-06-06

Gosh, isn't THAT the truth.
I always wanted a guy who was into music, technology who was a fabulous dresser. Someone who liked cars, traveling,etc.

My boyfriend needed serious fashion help when I met him, he listens to talk radio, doesn't know alot about cars and I'm the one who fixes the computer when there are problems. But.........

He has a HUGE heart, loves all kinds of animals, loves plants, loves watching chic flicks with me and has a fabulous personality. I realized that some of the "qualities" I was looking for weren't as important as how awesome he treated me and if he made me laugh.

blubirde · Chanel

jah wrote:

blubirde wrote: I'd just like to start out by saying I don't have an ideal man. There are all kinds of different guys I like, physically speaking. The only "no" is super muscular. I hate big muscles. And short. I like a man who is 6'+ but as long as they're taller than me, I'm okay. But here are the personality specifics that are a MUST: ~ damn funny. i prefer wit, cleverness, sarcasm, intelligent humor, etc., but if they make me laugh on a regular basis, anything will work. ~ super smart. i think i'm a pretty smart gal so i want someone who is at least as smart as i am. it's funny actually. the only men i've ever fallen for are men who i've considered smarter than me. weird. i guess i'm more attracted to intelligence than i realized! added: i want someone who is smart in ways i'm not smart. i want someone who can open my eyes and teach me new things. ~ spontaneous. i want someone who can get up at 10 o'clock at night and go to the bookstore because they suddenly have a hankering for an old hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. or the movie place at midnight because they all of a sudden have to watch some crazy shaw brothers film. ~ creative. i prefer someone who can play an instrument but any kind of artistic endeavor works. visual artist, sound artist, writer, whatever. i just want someone who has creative juices and knows how to use them. ~ passionate. he has to be passionate about something. doesn't matter what it is - politics, pop culture, film, music, etc. just something that makes him come alive. (ideally it's something i'm not passionate about just in case we have opposing opinions.) ~ inherently kind. i want to be with someone who genuinely cares if he's hurt my feelings or someone else's feelings. someone who can get past the heat of anger and come around to realize what the right thing is. someone who is just downright nice. ~ good manners. guy has to be able to know which fork to use and to hold a door open for me. (not all the time, of course, and i can hold the door for him, but if he's at the door first, he better have it open for me!) this is the one that i've grown to appreciate in my old (gasp!) age. used to never matter but i like someone who has a bit of "suaveness" about him. ~ open-minded and liberal in politics. i think that's all. that's a lot when i look back at it! no wonder i can't seem to get worked up about any guy i meet. although i have to agree with sfclinevandy - if i can be these things (and i think i am) why can't he? Well, blubirde...it is too bad you don't live in ATL. My good friend fits your description perfectly!

Damn! Why don't I live in ATL? My best friend lives near Atlanta, so maybe I should come visit her???

laken1 · Hermes

I have to say, I made a pretty extensive list after my divorce, and what I found out is that like others have said, when it came down to it, most of that really didn't matter.

Here's what I knew for sure:
* No kids
* Kind
* Stable job making enough money that I didn't have to worry about money before every payday (I think that's different for everyone)
* No drugs / excessive drinking
* Ambitious
* Cute
* taller than me
* Not too skinny - I don't want to walk around with a man with a smaller butt than mine
* trustworthy
* No jewelry - I added this to my requirements after an ugly nugget pinky ring incident - don't ask!

I ended up with someone with those qualities but also ones that I wasn't looking for & didn't know I needed such as:
* Smart - I've always been the smarter person in the relationship - not bragging I promise!, it's kind of nice to have someone to talk about books, philosophy (even if we disagree), politics, current events, etc
* Makes me a better person
* Likes me for me, without makeup, in my flannel pjs he still thinks I'm pretty (and tells me)
* Doesn't make me self concious about my body, my job, my hobbies
* Believes in me 100% - he thinks I can do anything - if I say I want to write a novel, he says "do it", painting classes, "do it" - whatever, he supports it & believes in me - I can't even say that about my parents!
* trustworthy - I guess I knew I wanted this in someone, but I honestly KNOW that he's good & kind & wouldn't hurt me - I think this is the hardest for me since I was cheated on before, sometimes I self talk to myself & wonder if I'm just stupid - then I remember who I'm talking about!
* Appreciative - in previous relationships my income or house duties, or whatever was "expected" - now I feel appreciated for making dinner, going to the grocery, cleaning, washing clothes, etc. I know that sounds stupid, but it's important in the big scheme of things, at least to me!

I also married someone who is in technology field, artistic, musical, I never knew I wanted / needed that, but I am much more artsy than I ever gave myself credit for and he brings that out in me.

I guess bottom line is that if you are with the right person, you also become your best self & they let you without being threatened or judgemental.

I also want to add this after thought: I have a friend that wonders why she is the only one of us that it still single. But she is SOOOO dead set on her list that if he does not fit in one category, she dumps him. Sometimes you have to compromise something superficial that won't be important in the long run to find the right guy!!!

-- Edited by laken1 at 16:17, 2005-06-08

-- Edited by laken1 at 16:18, 2005-06-08

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

this is a fun topic! one silly thing i've always liked are glasses. they just get at me -- if i like a guy and then see him in glasses i think it's the cutest thing in the world. however, the actual things i look for in a man are:

similar sense of humor: if you can't laugh together then nothing will work

intelligence: i can't go out with someone less intelligent than i am. i used to think this was snobby and tried going against it, but it didn't take.

appreciative of arts and culture, but also be a "guy" -- a potential BF needs to have a manly, i am going to throw you over my shoulder thing about him (for me anyway, and luckily my BF fits the bill in that regard)

kindess towards people in general

acceptance of me as a person while also bringing out my best qualities

a little bit of dorkiness to him

appreciative of things i do for him (laken1, i feel the same way -- it's not a stupid thing to want at all! my BF thanks me frequently for making dinner, doing laundry, etc. and it makes me feel so good. no one else really appreciated me in this way before.)

he should like animals and kids -- now i sound cheesy but it's true. if a guy didn't like either i don't think i could be with him.

tolerance towards people, traditional values, and middle of the road politics like me so we're not getting in huge fights

and of course, i have to find him attractive