STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

The Summer Shoe Pledge

Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the "Toe-Exposing Cute Girl Sisterhood," I pledge to follow
these rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit.  My toes will not hang over and
touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs.  And the sides
and top of my feet will not "pudge-out" between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and
chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will not live in corn denial.  Rather, I will lean on my good friend,
Dr. Scholl's, if my feet need him.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose with sandals even if my misinformed girlfriend,
co-worker, mother or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under
my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place
hoping it will stay put.  I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes for the low, low price of $4.99
even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out
of concern for my safety and the safety of others.  No one can walk
properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take
someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take off my toe ring toward the end of the day if my toe swells and
begins to look like a Vienna sausage.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend, sister or co-worker when she
asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals.  Someone has to tell her
that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet
look good!

- Unknown