STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

**UPDATE #2**

for those who were enjoying this train wreck, the drama continues.  my sister's finace, who totally agrees with her and me about how ridiculous chira is, asked my sister to apologize to chira just to smooth things over.  This was the biggest mistake she made since telling chira that she could help with this party in the first place.  My sister said she was sorry if she had hurt chira's feelings, and that if she and her mother still wanted to do something for the wedding they could.  (my sister asked me if i would let chira help with the shower i'm now planning to appease her -- i said no way.)  this was all it took for chira to declare that the jack and jill party was back on. 

my sister tried to ask chira to tone the party down a little, maybe cut back on the raffle and other such tacky and emabarrassing things, but chira bascially said no, too bad, this is what you're supposed to do at a jack and jill, like it or not.  wow, i am so happy that she's doing all this out of the kindness of her heart and that its all about my sister and her finace.  during this conversation, chiraalso told my sister that she,her mother and possibley and equally insane aunt will not attend the shower i'm throwing, and up until then chira had planned on not attending the wedding. 

i'll let you all know what i'm planning for the shower.  i love planning parties too, which why i could not even dream of being associated with the ghetto fest chira had in store.  i will also definately be posting the details of the Party from Hell, as i'm sure we will all get a good laugh out of it.

**UPDATE**

After i posted here yesterday, i started thinking about this whole stupid jack and jill party, and i called chira and told her that i had spoken to the other bridesmaid and that she was very upset.  i basically told chira the party was nothing like i had wanted to do and that i did not have the time or energy to be involved in the drama that had ensued.  (aside from the fact that everyone on my side of the family was calling me saying "what the f* is wrong with chira?", my sister told me that chira's mother (her future MIL) was complaining to my sister about me -- about how i had not offered enough money for the party and that it was ridiculous that i had wanted to hold the shower i had been planning before all this at my house b/c there's no way my house is big enough for all the women on their side of the family.  the FMIL has never been to my house, by the way.)  so anyway, i told chira that i could no longer have anything to do with her jack and jill party.

so this morning, my sister called chira to say that SHE was upset about the situation, and that she wanted chira to cancel the party.  chira refused, saying that she has already invested tons of money (she has spent $12.95 to have the tickets printed), planned 90% of the party(okay, so she spent the whole week harassing people to give her deals on stuff), and sold tickets for it (there is no way she sold more than maybe a couple tickets to it, if any).  chira then tells my sister she has to go put her son on the school bus.  minutes later, the FMIL calls my sister to mediate.  within seconds, chira is in the background SCREAMING that she WILL NOT cancel the party. 

a few hours later, my sister's other future sister in law, E., decided that she wanted to get involved.  she called chira and told her that she will not take any tickets to sell to her and my sister's friends from their gym.  chira asked why, and E told her that it's because my sister is embarassed to have them see the insanity of chira's party.  whoa, the s*** really hit the fan at this point.  chira declared that if my sister was going to try to sabotage her party, then chira would spend all the ticket money and "they will never see a cent of it"  (can we say psycho?) and hung up.

E. then called my sister to tell her the news, and in the middle chira beeped in. chira began to scream at my sister about how she only wanted to do something nice for her brother, and that she is cancelling the party, and that i and the other bridesmaid can keep our noses up in the air and plan whatever we want, and hung up.  then she called back 2 seconds later to tell my sister that "your sister should really rethink having the shower at her house (i live 45 minutes from them) b/c it will be really inconvient for our side of the family"  my sister responded that if chira were to throw the shower that i would not even question the drive and that chira drives an hour or more to go to her family functions.  so chira screamed "fine.  then my mother and i won't go!!!" and hung up again.

my sister and i were laughing hysterically about this afterward (now that we have escaped the wrath of chira's jack and jill party), imagining chira on that show, who's wedding is it anyway, as a party planner.  she would be sitting out on her back patio in her mumu, surrounded by empty beer bottles and garbage  and millions of kid's toys, and chain smoking, and talking about how she plans parties all the time and that she can find the best deals. 

at least it's all over now -- now i can hold the beautiful shower that i had originally planned to, on the weekend that i know chira will be on vacation.

I am in the middle of a most hellish situation with my sister's future sister in law (her fiance's sister).  First you have to understand what this woman is like.  I am going to try to not sound like a snob and hopefully not offend anyone here in this description ....  Her name is Chira.  She and I come from totally different ends of the spectrum. She has really bad taste and cheesy ideas.  she is incredibly cheap, and is always trying to finagle stuff so she doesn't have to pay for it.  she is also really loud and pushy about things.  she is the kind of person who sits inside her dirty apartment smoking cigarrettes all day with the windows shut and sits her kids in front of the tv watching videos all day long and feeds them (and herself) all kinds of junk food.  oh, and my sister cannot stand her.

so my sister is getting married in sept. and i am her maid of honor.  so last week i finally started planning her shower.  i got as far as setting a date for it that she and the other bridesmaid were okay with.  the next day my phone rings, and it's chira.  she tells me that she wants to help as much as she can with the Jack and jill party.  i tell her that i'm doing a shower, not a jack and jill.  she informs me that my sister told her that she does not want a shower, she wants a jack and jill, and that she has dicussed all this with my sister and that we should have this party at the local community center (yuck!) and we'll have a 50/50 raffle and we'll sell tickets and have prizes like baskets of hair care products and car washing supplies and we'll have family members make food -- the basics, like lasagna, stuffed shells, meatballs, sausuage and peppers, maybe a 6ft grinder, then some salads -- and on and on.  so basically, she has the whole thing planned out and it's nothing that i would ever in a million years come up with or want to be a part of (much less even attend the stupid event).  but she convinces me that this is what my sister wants, so i try to be non-judgemental and say okay i'll help to b/c its my sister's wedding and i should do what she wants.

the insane chira proceeds to call me 3 more times that day, and then at least once every day after that.  she also calls my aunt, my mom (at work!!), the other bridesmaid, my dad, my brother -- she goes into the local wine store, where my mom works once in a while, and harasses the owner into "donating" stuff for us to use as prizes and giving us a discount on the alcohol.  when my dad doesn't call her back right away, she goes to his house to talk to him about it.  she's totally out of control -- harassing everyone about this dumb party.

so basically, i surrender all control over this party to chira b/c i think this is what my sister wants.  everyone is annoyed about chira's phone calls, and no one wants to help her with this stupid party.  the other bridesmaid finally called me and now her feelings are hurt b/c she really wanted to do something special for my sister and doesn't understand why chira is taking over (she refuses to deal with chira).  and today my sister told me that she thought that i would just say no to chira when she called me and not let her take over the party.  my sister is now upset that the party is going to be totally class-less and cheesey and is embarrased to invite people to it. 

but its like the whole thing is too far gone to be saved -- there is absolutely no way to make the party better and there is no way to deal with chira.  you cannot reason with her about anything -- she will just do things her way no matter what.  i suggested cancelling the party -- telling her that my sister changed her mind and things are getting too complicated, but my sister doesn't want to hurt chira's feelings. 

i just don't know how to handle this situation.  now i think my sister's feelings are hurt that the other bridemaid and i are not envolved in the party, but there is no way we can be envolved in it the way things are.  i kind of told her that it's her own fault for letting chira get involved at all (she knows what chira is like) and that i would still be willing to plan something for her on my own, but i cannot work with chira and her insane party.  i really really really just wish she would cancel the whole thing ...