STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Andrea Julia · Coach

She is definitely not into you at all...no really

honey · Gucci

you guys could make a killing. i met this boy once and after the fact he kept text messaging me at these really odd hours i.e. 2 AM, and not even on a weekend like 2 AM on a tuesday with shit like do you want to "roundesvu" (and though i'm by no means a good speller, i really objected to that spelling) and i wouldn't respond. but he kept text messaging me for like a month straight. one would think that if someone doesn't respond to a series of text messages she's not that into you. arg boys!

Collette · Chanel

OMG I have one! This may get long so I apalogize in advance.

OK so I was dating this guy named Joe for a v brief period of time and he just got annoying all lovey dove after like 2 weeks. Which was when he felt he needed to break the news to me that he had a cocaine addiction so I said "ba-bye" so Monday I get to work and there are like 6 voice messages from over the weekend and I'm like WTF cause noone worked weekends. They are all from him getting more and more pathetic as I listened to them. First message was just him telling me he missed me and what not but he had Creed playing in the background and I was a big fan of them at the time so I knew it was planned, cutto 5 messages later and it's just "Can't Smile Without You" by Barry Manilow playing in the background so I listen cause I've got to hear if he is going to say anything and after the song he says "I miss you Princess" It was quite possibly the creepiest thing I've ever heard in my life.

So later that night (I lived at home at the time) my Dad tells me I have a guest and it's him with flowers. Otherwise sweet gesture except I notice they are in this huge black vase which I know is from his house. Creepy again. Again I tell him that I'm just not ready for a relationship.

Next day I'm at the gym, an all women's gym, and he shows up. So I see him in front and I go and ask him why he is there and he says "I love the way you smell when you sweat" Seeeriosly creepy. So I just the women at the front desk to call the police and he finally leaves.

A week passes and he calls again as if nothing ever happened and I tell him "um seriously, I dont want to talk to you anymore" and I get the mature response. "I hate you bitch, you've ruined my life" And that was the end. Too bad cause he was seriously hot.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

holy shit colette, that's a winner. I don't have any great stories--for which I am thankful--but yours is a GOOD one!

I think the book would be brilliant and hilarious if it were pitched as a straight-up, dating-stories-from-the-frontlines that all the girls could read, and roar, and go "omg and I thought the guy _I_ dated was crazy!" I'm not sure how well the book would fly if you pitched it as a man's "he's just not that into you"--I mean how many men do you know who would consider getting a dating manual, let alone be caught dead actually buying it?

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: sephorablue
"holy shit colette, that's a winner. I don't have any great stories--for which I am thankful--but yours is a GOOD one! I think the book would be brilliant and hilarious if it were pitched as a straight-up, dating-stories-from-the-frontlines that all the girls could read, and roar, and go "omg and I thought the guy _I_ dated was crazy!" I'm not sure how well the book would fly if you pitched it as a man's "he's just not that into you"--I mean how many men do you know who would consider getting a dating manual, let alone be caught dead actually buying it?"

Yes. I think it would be more a humorous book than a serious self-help book. It is a satire of He's Just Not That Into You. People would read it because its funny and may even buy it as a gag gift for someone.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

the more i think about this idea, the more i like it, AJ I can't wait to start!! and please ladies, keep the ideas coming!

let me write down the one my friend told me not too long ago:

she was on J-Date (internet matchmaking service for jewish people), she starts talking to this guy. he sounds all full of himself and was all like, looks are very important to me, blah, blah. from his picture he could've gone both ways, either cute or not. whatever, total turn off that he's all shallow but she decides to go out with him anyway. he picks katana to take her to (good sign, it's a very cool sushi place on sunset, i once saw john mayer there, he has a really big head btw but i digress). so anyway they meet up and he is not cute at all which would be fine but soo ironic because of all his comments about caring about his apperance, and the appearance of the person he dates, to the point where she's all insecure and then he turns out to be a troll! so anyway, he's such a poser, turns out he's never even had sushi and is like poking at it and stuff and he didn't even bring money for valet so the valet wouldn't give the car back and point is it was an awful date. then he tries to go in for a kiss and i guess my friend just felt the need to vent so she told his a** off, she was like who do you think you are talking about looks, you don't even know how to treat a girl and then proceeded to catalog and tell him all the ways he totally turned her off the entire night, seriously goes into every minute detail w/ him ("you didn't even have a dollar to tip the valet", etc.)

so then guess what happens? he apologizes, promises to do better next time and for a MONTH straight calls and texts her like every other day trying to get her to give him another chance. she never did, of course. the part i love best about her story is she actually told him all the ways he f*cked up and acted like a total a**hole and he just came crawling back. ha!

cat · Marc Jacobs

I have had two creepy experiences. I don't Know if this fist is what you want because I dated him for 4 months. It was not untill I broke up with him that it got creepy.A week after we broke up he started calling my house letting it ring once and hanging up. then then sometimes he would let it ring so when I picked up he started breathing heavy into the phone. If I would not pick up he left creepy phone messages,saying I love you,Why won't you answer the phone.About a month later he started driving past my house.Then he started showing up where I worked,wouldn't try to talk to me just sit there drinking coffee stairing at me(I worked in a coffee shop). To top off the creepiness he went and got a portrait of my face tattooed on his upper arm.When out of my better jugdement I asked him If the Tattoo was of me,he said of course it is I love you baby. After a few monthes he left me alone for almost a year . It has been two years since we broke up and I ran into him last month.So what does he do but start calling my house again and hanging up after it rings once.

The seconed one I had to have arrested.I never dated him,he just sat next to me in my math class.My boyfriend at the time happend to be in the class with me. so this loser will call him d,(he liked to go by two diffrent names depending on his mood) kept talking with me all the time,I tried to be polite and tell him I was not interested but he just kept hitting on me.I told him listen i have a boy friend,at which point he started getting nasty towrad my boyfriend. so me and my boyfriend tried sitting in a diffrent side of the room away from d. so what does the little creep do starts stalking me , he starts waiting for me outside of my other classes,waiting by my locker and he even tried to trip me in the hall one day by throwing his back pack down in front of me.then one day he went too far. me, my boyfreind and are friends were at school sitting toghter before class and the little creep who came and sat a few chairs away throws a book at me and hits me with it . then he comes over to pick up the book which I refussed to give back.Me and my freinds literally had to hold my boyfriend back from beating the f**king crap out little creep,who is yelling at me to give the book back. so my boyfreid threatens to snap the guy like a twig and crucify him, so d runs off. so me and my boyfreind filed a police report,not only were there witnesses besides my freinds who saw him throw the book but also the reason I would not hand him the book back is because when I picked it up i saw It was a library book.so the police checked and it was checked out under d's name what a dork,and the best part is when they went to arrest him they found cocaine in his pants pockets.

-- Edited by cat at 04:11, 2005-05-19

-- Edited by cat at 04:15, 2005-05-19

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

wow, poor cat, that is creepy! but major props to your boyfriend--gotta love a guy who knows how to stand up for his girl.

jess · Kenneth Cole

Oh geez. . . I'd need a whole chapter to myself. NEARLY everyone I meet, I usually meet while im out, which is the reason people tell me I meet weirdos/freaks/married folks. As we may or may not know, I have no balls (well technically I really dont ;) and I just avoid, avoid, avoid. Some get the hint, but others freakin call like theres no tomorrow. Am I really just that freakin fabulous? kididng, but seriously.

Saturday night boy, aside from the first 20x's of calling with me answering ONCE & quickly hanging up with him- he's called everyday since I met him. Including 2 am last night. What I dont get is that he's NOT bad looking - wtf? Cant he find other chicks to harass?

Lets see, there was this one guy who I avoided his calls & then I ran right smack into him at a bar. AHH, crap. What did I do? My reaction was to. . . duck. I freakin ducked right in front of him. Like he didnt see me, it was really embarrassing, but I couldnt help it- it was a reaction. He was like, "Hey, I thought you fell of the face of the earth!" blah blah, I was nice & then he started calling all over again. C'mon, if someone ducked to avoid you right in front of your face, would you really call ever again???

blink · Coach

Oooooh, good topic.

I once knew a guy who persistently called me (I had gone out with him once on a group outing with him because I was new in town, and I think it made him think I was his "date"). Later he showed up at my work with a bouquet of INCENSE in a scent called "Sexy." Blah. He wouldn't stop calling so finally I picked up and I just said I wasn't interested in dating him. He got mad and said "HAVE A NICE LIFE" and hung up on me!

Another time I had to tell a guy I didn't want to see him anymore, I had made the mistake of getting drunk with him one night and hooking up. I regretted it almost immediately, and he thought he was falling in love with me! So I tried to break it off with him over the phone soon after, I was actually honest in my reasons--moved too fast, knew a scorned girl who he had dated, etc. He didn't accept it and was very angry. He later saw me at a club away from my friends, I tried to ignore him, but he cornered me and in a drunk and stoned rant, proceeded to tell me that he had me all figured out and I didn't like him because I was afraid of love or something, he said I was insecure and shallow and other things. I just had to sit there and say over and over, I just don't want to date you....it's over...what a nightmare, he was seething mad. I saw him from a distance years later at a record party and tried to duck, but he saw me of course and he actually glared at me like I had smudged his Puma, what a freak!

I have mentioned this guy before, I call him the cat date guy. I went to his house on our first "date" to eat home cooked dinner and watch a movie. He kept telling me to pet his cat, his cat by the way, like most cats, wasn't exactly trying to get my attention as much as his owners. I didn't kiss the guy or act interested, but he kept calling and calling and calling. Always very polite, but clueless! Later, my roommate and I moved and I didn't forward my phone number on the disconnect message. He LOOKED UP MY PHONE NUMBER and called me, I didn't even realize he knew my last name, so this told me that he must have done some investigating on his own when I lived at my previous residence. This guy literally called me occasionally for about a year before he finally gave up.

one word for these types: buggaboo.

-- Edited by lorelei at 12:23, 2005-05-19

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

girls, if you write this book it will be a best-seller! i think it would be awesome.

here is my most recent experience with a guy who wouldn't give up. we went out a few times last fall. at first i did like him, but wanted to take it slowly before getting too involved. he offered to make me dinner, and it was the first time i was in his apartment. he tried to make things get too physical that night, which i told him was not cool with me, and he apologized. then in the next week he asked me every day in the afternoon if i wanted to come over again, and got annoyed when i didn't do so. i was busy, and i also didn't like these last minute faux dates that i saw as just him wanting to hook up again. and then he sounded like the "girl," saying he'd hoped we would spend more time together after we'd had "the chance to be more intimate." we hadn't had sex, and the fact that he even used that phrase just grossed me out!

then i felt unenthusiastic about seeing him anymore, and cancelled on the next date. he'd been calling me that day anyway to see if we were still on and called me "sweetie" in his messages, and then when we finally spoke i told him i wasn't up for going out i said i wasn't feeling well due to the car accident i'd been in a few weeks previously. now, i really was in a car accident -- not a serious one -- and really did have back and neck pain afterwards. but if i was crazy about him i'd probably not have cared about being in any discomfort, or i'd have asked him to come over. i should have just broken it off entirely. anyway, he was not very caring about it and got upset. he called back right away, like a minute after we hung up, and said "are you sure you can't go out? i'm disappointed, i wanted to go out tonight." and i told him it really bothered me that his concern was for his own disappointment, not for the fact that i'd been in an accident and was in pain. we ended the conversation with no plans to go out again.

then he called me the next week and admitted he had a lot of psychological problems and had been in therapy for ten years and had recently stopped taking his prozac because it wasn't working anymore. he had told his therapist about me breaking off the date and his therapist was on my side and said he had acted badly. he said he was diagnosed obsessive compulsive and narcissistic, which meant he was bad at empathizing with other people, and that was why he hadn't cared about me being hurt. i'm not against therapy but no way do i want to get involved with someone who's been in it constantly for the past 10 years, and doesn't seem to be getting any better. so i told him i didn't want to see him anymore, and he refused to accept it. this was right before thanksgiving and he kept emailing me all weekend asking me if we could talk about it or if i'd reconsider, and i kept saying no. each email got worse, too, and more insistent that he needed "closure." then he waited a while before writing to me periodically over the next few months just to say hi. half the time i didn't write back. finally i told him i didn't want to hear from him anymore, and since then he's left me alone.

whenever i think about this, i get mad that i didn't tell him to get lost more forcefully right away!

-- Edited by scarlett at 13:36, 2005-05-19

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i went out with this guy for a brief period during my senior year of h.s. think may 4th-may 8th (something like that). he was fun to hang out with, but i realized quickly that we didn't have similar interests.

instance one: i was going away to college so he asked for my e-mail address. he sent me an e-mail with a ton of typos..after he had told me that he had gotten into harvord (no that wasn't a spelling error on my part).

instance two: he applied for a job at the dry-cleaners that i quit when i left for college (i wouldn't give him a reference). i heard he got fired because he was looking in the mirror at the women in back who were getting fittings (perv!!!).

instance three: the reason that i broke up with him. we were on a date (third) he came from a really wealthy family so our dates were nice and classy AND THEN he mentioned he knew of a hotel that you can rent by the hour!!! hello?! i am not that kind of girl first of all, second, ewwww, third grossss, fourth do those things really exsist, fifth, i need a shower i feel so gross even thinking about it.

instance four: i came home for christmas and my mom's cell phone rang (she would give it to me when i would go out in h.s.) and it was that guy! i hung up on him. he knew i would be home since it was christmas. then it rang during my spring break (weird, how did he know i was home for spring break). i hung up on him. christmas, easter my sophomore year (how did he know i was home??), christmas my junior year. and finally christmas and the three days i went home before i moved to chicago (i looked outside and there he was!!!!) this guy i guess would come by my house or something to see if i was home!!! last time it rang i told him to fudge off and that next time he did something like that i would call the cops. he kept at it over four years after i left (it's not like i was even in the same state!!)

i'm embarassed to even post that i went out with a guy who did that. but four days in h.s....we all did stupid things in h.s. my advice, girls, for all those guys that you had to deal with, you'll get rewarded when you finally find the one (at least that's how i feel).

-- Edited by shopgirl82 at 13:56, 2005-05-19

blink · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: scarlett
he said he was diagnosed obsessive compulsive and narcissistic, which meant he was bad at empathizing with other people, and that was why he hadn't cared about me being hurt.

good thing you got away from him, I have some knowledge about narcissistics, they are usually hard wired that way so therapy only helps them cope, but they sadly cannot change!

Karina · Chanel

RE: She is definitely not into you at all...no rea

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

RE: She is definitely not into you at all...no really

blubirde · Chanel

RE: RE: She is definitely not into you at all...no rea

JackieO527 · Dooney & Bourke

RE: She is definitely not into you at all...no really

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

jackie, now that you mention it, that title does ring a bell. aj and i weren't really going for the self help bit though, we just wanted funny stories in general. thanks for the fyi though!

Andrea Julia · Coach

Okay. I have two that come to mind:

1. I was about 18 and out at this club with friends. This guy came up to me and asked me what I wanted to drink. I thought he asked me what I already had to drink so I named off a beer, a shot of kamikaze, and 2 malibu baybreezes (yeah, I know, totally lame, I don't know how I ever drank that kind of crap). So, he actually buys me 4 drinks...all at once. I keep one and give the others to my friends. After a few minutes of talking to him, I realize I am not interested in talking to him anymore. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get away and I end up meeting another guy. I spent the rest of the night talking to and dancing with the other guy. The 1st guy came over and was just standing there staring, but eventually walked away. I thought that was the end of that. But noooo, it wasn't. He asked one of my friends for my number and she actually gave it to him. He called everyday for months. Even after he stopped calling every day, he would still call every once in a while. I would say it took about a year before he totally gave up. It was horrible and he had this really ugly sounding accent. It sounded the way it sounds when someone is imitating an accent. Maybe he was doing that. I don't know. Sometimes he would be nice and ask me on a date, but sometimes (maybe when he was with his boys) he would say stuff like, "Yo...are we going to hang out tonight or what?" or "my friends and i are going to this party tonight so if you want to see me, you have to meet up with us there" (ummmm....right....I never hung out with him once). Every time we went to that club, he was there and would try to get us to go out with him afterhours and crap. We even went to a club an hour away and saw him there (but that may or may not have been a coincidence). Then one night we accidentally left my friend at the club. We had taken two cars and each of us thought the other brought her home. The guy swooped right in and offered her a ride and drove her home. He asked for HER number and proceeded to start calling HER all the time asking about me and trying to get her to plan a night for us all to hang out. This guy is the #1 persistent guy I can think of.

2. A few years ago, I met a new guy at a part time job I was working at right before Valentines Day. This was only the 2nd time we had worked together so I didn't know a heck of a lot about him. We ended up making a date for Valentine's Day. It was just the most convenient day for both of us. I didn't think we'd be celebrating Valentine's Day together or anything. Boy was I wrong.

The day of the date, I was at work (my full time job) and he called me and asked if we could get together earlier. I told him I really couldn't because I had to work until 5 and I worked about 45 minutes away and still had to get ready and stuff. I think our plans were for 7. He said okay, but called again and asked if I could get out of work a little earlier so we can have more time to hang out together. Again, I said no. He called me again at work to let me know that he was going shopping for a "special someone"....me.

He shows up at my house (early) with a stuffed animal and a heart-shaped box of chocolates. A nice gesture, but way too personal for a first date. Flowers would have been a better choice if he wanted to bring something.

We went out to Houlihans and the guy who waited on us was this guy I knew from a previous job. He was bi-sexual. He was telling me something about some guy he was seeing and the guy I was on the date with was like, "wait...are you one of those people that are gay and straight at the same time?" I almost died. My waiter friend almost died. He stayed away from us until he had to bring the check.

During dinner, the guy got up and came to sit on the same side of the booth as me. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that and I just wanted him to sit on his own side of the booth. He then started asking me questions like do I like him? Is something wrong with him? Do I see a future with us? Is he my type of guy? I just kept telling him I don't know yet. Let's just relax and talk and eat.

We went to a movie afterward (Black Hawk Down) and he had been in some branch of the military when he was younger and kept ripping the movie apart. He put his arm around me and I seriously was crying inside because I wanted to go home and get away from this guy so bad. When we FINALLY (it seemed like ages) got back to my house, he started getting out of the car to walk me to my door. I just said, I'm fine, you don't have to walk me and ran for my front door.

I stopped returning his calls and every time I saw him at work (thank god our schedules were such that this only happened twice a week), he would try to ask me out and would ask me if I liked him and what I thought of him. This went on until one day, he just stopped showing up for work.

About 2 weeks before he stopped working there, this other guy started working there. He had an interest in me and asked for my number (and dumbass me gave it to him). I didn't know he was interested in me when I gave it to him. He kind of played it off like he was going to get a bunch of us together after work. He would text me all throughout work and would hide in stupid places and text me telling me to find him. When it came to the night we were supposed to hang out, I just called him and said, "look, I don't want to go on a date with anyone from work again." He's like, "oh yeah. I heard about you and D (the first guy). He said you were cool but he broke things off with you because you didn't put enough effort into the relationship." What??? What relationship??? And I didn't put any effort in because I was definitely not into him at all...no, really!

Oh...and I found out after all that that the first guy had done the same thing to another girl I worked with before he started working there. He had met her because he worked for the same compay in a different location before he moved to our location and had to come pick something up. She went on one date with him and was definitely not into him at all...no, really!

-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 00:06, 2005-05-20

-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 08:14, 2005-05-20

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

oh my god aj, i'm laughing soo hard at the second story right now--esp. the "put enough into a relationship" what relationship?! the imaginary one in his head?