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Post Info TOPIC: She is definitely not into you at all...no really
sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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RE: She is definitely not into you at all...no really
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Wow, girls, these are AMAZING!!!! This is what I don't understand: how does someone grow up so completely clueless, antisocial, freakish, whatever you want to call it, to behave like this?


This is such a great book idea!


And I remembered, I DO have one. It's not as bad as y'alls, but it's an honorable mention. I was on the bus home for Thanksgiving and this guy sat in the seat next to me. I had my headphones on so I don't even really notice. Then, round about the Meadowlands (this is a 5-hour bus trip from NY to DC), he pokes me in the arm. While I am happily staring out the window listening to music. I forget what his opening salvo was, but it was the first in a neverending stream of questions. At times he would run out of things to ask me and would just page through the magazine in his lap until he found something that would spark another topic of conversation. I kept waiting for the pause when I could politely put my headphones back on and resume staring at the window, but it never came, he just kept talking. The best part was at one point, he asked me who I was going to visit, and I said my dad, so his next question was, "are your parents divorced?" No, my mom died when I was thirteen. Pause. Him: "How did she die?" Me, increasingly irritated, "breast cancer." Him: "how did you handle that?" Me: "That is totally inappropriate!"


FINALLY he subsided into silence, although we were nearly in DC by that time. For some godforsaken reason I had given him my actual phone number earlier in the ordeal out of knee-jerk politeness and discomfort with lying, and to my total astonishment, he actually had the audacity to call me two weeks later, asking if I wanted to go out that week. I said no, he said maybe later? I said, "actually I really don't want to see you." HE ASKED ME WHY. I said, "because you were incredibly rude to me!" and hung up. Thank god he wasn't psychotic enough ever to call again!


All these stories beg the question, though: why are we so polite to these losers long after they have made gross intrusions on our personal space, crossed all kinds of lines of normal and appropriate behavior? Why does it take us so long to flat-out tell somebody to get lost??!? (Except for your friend, Esquiress! kudos!)


Scarlett: what better "closure" can you get than someone saying "I don't want to see you anymore?" Freak.



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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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sephorablue, i'm so sorry that guy made you so uncomfortable.  more importantly, i am really sorry about your mom.  how insensitive of that stranger to ask you about it, and then keep asking you.  what a complete idiot!


you raise a good question: why are we polite to these guys?  i wonder if it's learned behavior.  as in, we feel like we're supposed to be polite to people, which is a good idea and a nice way to go about your life, but then it backfires when a pushy guy is interested in you.   


lorelei, after my one experience with a narcissist i can see you are totally right!  good people to avoid.



-- Edited by scarlett at 15:40, 2005-05-23

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Lilykind


Hermes

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I get the oddest feeling my umbrella boy story fits in here somewhere.


http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=44784&subForumID=102176&action=viewTopic&commentID=1822338


 



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jacL


Coach

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I have two stories, but they are not that bad--really, just about guys who can't understand when a girl does NOT like him.


1.  In HS, I worked at a fast-food joint.  This really cute guy came in with his friends and they stayed til we were closing.  I could tell he was trying to flirt with me, but I didn't get a chance to talk to him much since I was working, but I did give him my pager number (remember those?!) before he left.  So I talk to him a few times and he is just really not my type and I stop calling him back when he pages.  Well, he starts showing up at my work every weekend and it gets very embarrasing because everyone knows he just wants to see me and I used to be this really super shy girl.  What made it way worse is that he wore so much cologne, I could tell when he was coming in because he seriously made the entire restaurant smell.  We went to different high schools, and about a month later I find out he is telling people at his school that we were dating.  Then, I find out he is a whole two years younger than he told me, which is a lot when you are only 16.  Months later, people from his school would see me around and ask if I was still going out with him.  Yuk.


2.  This one also happened when I was working at the fast-food place.  This guy started working there and had a big crush on me.  I thought he was nice so we went out for a movie and coffee one time, but I wasn't into it and didn't go out with him again.  Then I started liking his best friend, who I knew from before since he was my friend's cousin, and then the guy tells everyone at work we were going out together--after I started dating his friend! 


 



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Luv2Shop


Kate Spade

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RE: She is definitely not into you at all...no rea
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not really a story but a good message for guys!
it seemed in HS and college I would always be the one to do the breaking up in the ralationship and every guy would CRY!!! I had this happen with like 4 guys. I would always end up feeling bad and tell them I changed my mind and I wanted them back. Then I always ended up cheating on them because I couldn't bring myself to break up with them! Listen guys, if a girl is trying to break up with you and you cry and she says she "magically changed her mind" she is LYING! Take it like a man, GO HOME and cry, and get over it!! If you cry and she takes you back it is not because she never realized how sweet and sensitive you could be. It is because you are a pussy and she got tired of your blubbering! Please get this message out to men!!

Also, if you ask a girl to "hang out" don't bring flowers and try to make out with her all night. Don't bring flowers unless you are SURE it's a date or that she's really into you.

Thanks. P.S. VERY good idea for a book!


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splash


Kenneth Cole

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RE: She is definitely not into you at all...no really
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This is related, kind of like what lilykind mentioned:

Why do sketchy guys insist on talking to you? I was walking out of the public library, when this guy stopped me, asked if I am a college student (yes). Then he said he noticed me and I was cute, and would I like to have coffee. I said no thank you, and he left really quickly. But honestly, this happens a lot, and like him, the guys are usually balding, gray, etc - why on earth would they think I or any girl would say yes?

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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quote:
Originally posted by: splash
"why on earth would they think I or any girl would say yes? "

 


Because they are delusional.  splash and lilykind's stories make me think we should have a "weirdos that prey on college girls" chapter of the book.  And luvs2shop's story makes me think we should have a "when they cry like a baby and sucker you" in section as well.  Keep 'em coming ladies!



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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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I had a profile on an online dating site for a while and I got winked like three times in a row by this HORRIBLE dude... in his profile he ADMITTED to being like 43 so god knows how old he actually was. and he was so disgusting; huge, bald, ugly, with teeth like cauliflower. Mind you, I was 25 at the time and it clearly said in my blurb that I was only interested in people 24-34, but that didn't stop him from firmly believing I would be unable to resist his allure.

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blubirde


Chanel

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I've read all these stories and they are hilarious! I guess it's time to add my own.


A friend asks me to go see a movie with him. He's not attractive AT ALL and all the girls kind of make fun of him so I say okay. Frankly, I assumed it was a friend seeing a movie with a friend, not a date. I didn't think it would be bad because we got along well enough. Boy was I wrong.


He picks me up in his car. His car is so junky that the speedometer doesn't work and he has to guess how fast he's going. Nice, huh? But at this point I still think it's a friend thing so what's the big deal? I'm not into material things (aside from my fascination with Chanel bags - okay, I should say I'm not into judging people based on material things). He has a flower in his car for me and that's when I realize he thinks it's a date. It was like someone hit me over the head, I was so surprised.


We go to the mall movie theatre. Again, not my fave but whatever. We're early so we walk around the mall (always all right with me). He insists on going to an arcade. Yes, I kid you not. An arcade. I stood in the corner of the arcade the whole, entire time he was there with my arms crossed. He never once offered to play a game with me or anything. (I'm okay with arcades I guess as long as it's a fun time.) He just plays his little video game for over half an hour and lets me hang out alone. Funnily enough, there was another girl there doing the exact same thing as me.


The movie. (I can't watch Seven to this day because of this movie experience.) I sit on the aisle and he sits to my right. The whole movie is him trying to lean over put the moves on. By the end of the movie, I'm bent into this very uncomfortable L shaped position with my body hanging over the side of the seat and my head right smack in the middle of the aisle. All to avoid the tangle of body parts that keep leaning my way. (shudder) Some guy walked buy, looked at us, and actually laughed out loud! If it wouldn't have been me, I would have thought the thing was hilarious also.


After movie. Am I hungry? I say no. I want to go home. Right then. He says he's hungry and insists on stopping for food. We go to a Chinese buffet. (I HATE buffets.) He asks if I want anything. I say no. He gets all his food and we sit down at a table. (He got a TON of food btw.) I excuse myself and go to the restroom where I proceed to sit on the sink and chat it up with every girl that comes in for about 15 minutes. When I come out, he's done (thank god!) and he drives me home.


Fast forward a few weeks when he has the nerve to call me up and ask me out again!!! After all that! I tell him I have a boyfriend by then and can't do it (lie but it did get me a good date with another guy... different story).


I mean, hello???!!!! I was playing gumby to try and get away from you. I stood in a corner at an arcade for 1/2 an hour! I spent 15 minutes in a bathroom talking to anyone that would listen instead of you. What kind of signal does it take? Gross, gross, and more gross.



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Luv2Shop


Kate Spade

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RE: She is definitely not into you at all...no rea
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Reminds me of this thing that me and my friends made up in High School. You know that really queasy, nausious feeling you get in your stomach when a guy that you don't really like tries to make the moves on you? Well this guy did that to one of my friends and I swear to this day (we are all in our late 20's now) if one of us has that feeling and are telling a story about it we call it the "Shawn Lamar feeling" (that was his name) Poor guy, I hope he never found out about that. But we crack up about it to this day. And I am positive EVERY girl here knows exactly what I am talking about! I am so glad I am married so I never have to have that feeling again!!

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blubirde


Chanel

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quote:
Originally posted by: Luv2Shop
"Reminds me of this thing that me and my friends made up in High School. You know that really queasy, nausious feeling you get in your stomach when a guy that you don't really like tries to make the moves on you? Well this guy did that to one of my friends and I swear to this day (we are all in our late 20's now) if one of us has that feeling and are telling a story about it we call it the "Shawn Lamar feeling" (that was his name) Poor guy, I hope he never found out about that. But we crack up about it to this day. And I am positive EVERY girl here knows exactly what I am talking about! I am so glad I am married so I never have to have that feeling again!! "
OMG!!!! I KNOW Shawn Lamar!!! How crazy is that? And yes, he's still like that.

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Luv2Shop


Kate Spade

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Did you live in Cary, IL? That's where we all grew up. We went to Cary Grove High School.
How weird!! How do you know him?

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