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Post Info TOPIC: Ugh - guest list drama


Chanel

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Ugh - guest list drama
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Ok, so FH and I are finalizing our guestlist, and I did want to keep the wedding semi small... I have about 53 people on the list, not counting his friends or father's side of the family, so I am waiting on those numbers, but now he tells me he wants to invite all the frickin kids in the family - we are talking about 20-30 KIDS!

How can I talk FH down without being rude? He says that he wants to invite the kids because when he was younger, he wasn't allowed to go to his aunt's wedding because he was a kid and doesn't want to do that to them.

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Hermes

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Weddings are expensive.  Unless FH is willing to pay $50,000,000,000 to feed 30 screeming children, it's just not worth it.  To compromise, you could always limit it to older children (6 or over, or even 10/12 and over) and provide on-site daycare for the younger ones.  Comes out a lot less expensive than feeding all those little buggers the wedding food and keeps them out of your hair but within close reach of the parents.  Then, you can also just specify "On-site daycare will be provided for all children under the age of XX" instead of having to try to imply that kids aren't allowed, period.


Are you still doing a destination wedding?



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Kenneth Cole

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After much arguing and debate (I didn't want ANY kids at the wedding), my fiance and I decided to do exactly what LMonet suggested. Kids 12 and over are invited to the wedding and we're hiring a babysitter to watch the younger children in another room of the facility.

It also doesn't hurt that our reception place charges 1/2 price for any children in attendance. Maybe you can ask your place if they offer a similar discount.

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Chanel

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quote:
Originally posted by: LMonet

"Weddings are expensive.  Unless FH is willing to pay $50,000,000,000 to feed 30 screeming children, it's just not worth it.  To compromise, you could always limit it to older children (6 or over, or even 10/12 and over) and provide on-site daycare for the younger ones.  Comes out a lot less expensive than feeding all those little buggers the wedding food and keeps them out of your hair but within close reach of the parents.  Then, you can also just specify "On-site daycare will be provided for all children under the age of XX" instead of having to try to imply that kids aren't allowed, period.
Are you still doing a destination wedding?
"


no, FH decided lets go all out and do a normal at home wedding. ugh.


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Hermes

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quote:

Originally posted by: Karina

" no, FH decided lets go all out and do a normal at home wedding. ugh. "


And you guys are paying for all this yourself right?  And expecting a baby in July?  And have a two-year-old running around?  Are you SURE you want to marry someone that crazy?  J/K of course !


I think if you guys are in big-downhome-shindig territory, you need to prioritize.  Precious few can afford to go all out on EVERYTHING.  I know I am not one of those people.  FH and I decided that the location & photography were our 'big spenders' and planned the budget accordingly.  If you guys want to make having all the kids at the event, than your FH needs to understand that will mean cutting corners in other areas.  We aren't able to include EVERYONE we 'should' have invited either, but in the end it's about doing what make you happy.  Whether or not that means springing for 30 extra guests.



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Dooney & Bourke

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Well, we decided to have all kids at our wedding and it was one of the best decisions we made.


However weddings are pricey and if you really cannot afford to invite them all, I would say limit the kids to a certain age, meaning 10 and above or something like that.



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Chanel

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quote:
Originally posted by: LMonet

"
And you guys are paying for all this yourself right?  And expecting a baby in July?  And have a two-year-old running around?  Are you SURE you want to marry someone that crazy?  J/K of course !
I think if you guys are in big-downhome-shindig territory, you need to prioritize.  Precious few can afford to go all out on EVERYTHING.  I know I am not one of those people.  FH and I decided that the location & photography were our 'big spenders' and planned the budget accordingly.  If you guys want to make having all the kids at the event, than your FH needs to understand that will mean cutting corners in other areas.  We aren't able to include EVERYONE we 'should' have invited either, but in the end it's about doing what make you happy.  Whether or not that means springing for 30 extra guests.
"


i actually took some friends of mine off the list to make it 53 - i think what i'll do is i'll let him invite whoever he wants up to #75. im not budging past that.. how does that sound?

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Hermes

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quote:

Originally posted by: Karina

" i actually took some friends of mine off the list to make it 53 - i think what i'll do is i'll let him invite whoever he wants up to #75. im not budging past that.. how does that sound?"

I think that sounds like a good compromise.  A girl's gotta draw the line somewhere!

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}


BCBG

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How about having some kids menu? (Hot dog or hamburger)


Usually it is much cheaper than the regular one.  My friend did this for her wedding and the kids love it.



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Dooney & Bourke

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quote:

Originally posted by: Karina

" i actually took some friends of mine off the list to make it 53 - i think what i'll do is i'll let him invite whoever he wants up to #75. im not budging past that.. how does that sound?"


 


that sounds like the perfect solution -- that way he has to pick who he really wants there.  hopefully the kids won't be his first choice...



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