STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

That situation completely sucks and as much as I am so glad to not be in it the only thing i have to say is I guess if you are living in their house you have to go by their rules.  I would just make sure to spell it out to your mom that you are staying at friends house that way she wont call you or wait up late on you.  I have to stay with my parents for a week after moving out of my college apartment and before moving into my new apartment in Arkansas for my job.  I'm sure my situation will be just like yours.  Just try to grin and bear it til you go to Houston (and she wont call you all the time while you are there-- I know from experience).  I moved out of my parents house 2 years ago (they are pretty strict too) and sounds like my situation was similar to yours.  PM me if you want to talk to anything.  It will get better!!!

Ugh - I know how you feel! I'm sorry!

But when you move away, I'm sure it'll be better. My parents are overconcerned when I'm visiting - I have to call and say where I am, etc - but when I'm not living at their house they don't at all.

For now... er, remember it's because they care about you I know that's hard, but whenever I get annoyed about it, I try to remember that, and it helps.

Ok, let me give you a different perspective - I moved out of my parent's house when I was 18 for the very reason you are frustrated with. Because of that, over the years I had to live with roommates i didn't want to live with, take jobs I didn't want, etc etc to be able to afford living on my own. My sister lived with my parents & put up with that crap until she graduated from college, saved all the money I spent on rent, utilities, groceries, everything that goes with it. She was able to save a pile & buy a house that still could never afford, I got in debt that here I am 14 years later just getting out from under.

I think you are SO responsible for making the sacrifice living with your parents - I really think in the long run you will be glad you did. Yes, I got to stay out late & with boyfriends that now I probably wish I didn't have, and my parents would have seen to it that I stayed away from, which would have been in my best interest (i'm sure not the same in the case of your boyfriend, but you get my point). In just 4 or so SHORT months, you will be a safe distance from them, on your own, & can begin your "real" adult life in a better position financially & from a responsibility standpoint - I have read your posts, you are very responsible!!!!

Just for the record, I got divorced when I was 30 & about a month later I went on vacation to Gulf Shores with my mom, my sister, and her kids. I had some friends in town that were going out & my mom actually said "Well, you know if you want to go meet your friends you can." LOL I reminded her that "yes, mom, i have a car & money and i did plan to - I was just mentioning it." Then when I was leaving she asked me what time I would be back. Once a mom, always a mom. And I do love her for it. But after all my fussing, when after that trip I finally moved into my apartment on my own once again, I called her everytime I left to go to the grocery or to Blockbuster. Eventually she said "You know, you don't have to call me every time you leave the house, if i call & you aren't home I'll leave you a message." I cried & cried because no one cared if I came home from Walmart!!!!!!! We both had to adjust to me being an adult on my own, and I promise, after you move will miss the fact that your mom wants to know where you are.

Good luck in the meantime & just know that you are SOOOOOO close to REAL adulthood, you can survive a summer!!!!!

I 100% know where you are coming from... except I don't even live with my parents Even though, I have my own place in another state, I'm technically still on the payroll (our family euphimesism for still being supported by the 'rents) while I'm in school. It sucks because they both have a lot of input on what I do... Example: I posted under the travel board how my friend and I want to take a big vacation. Well, everytime I've been out of the country, it's been with my family. So my dad is being a pain and won't shut up about how it's unsafe for 2 girls to be traveling alone in a foreign country. Yet them seem to forget how last summer they let my brother (who was 20 at the time) go to Milan for the summer and work when he initially knew no one and spoke no Italian. Yeah, real fair. My parents are being super sweet because for my bday they're paying for me to go somewhere this summer, but keep suggesting really nice places in the country that neither my friend and I are interested in. I am so grateful for their support, but at the same time I'm almost 25 years old! If I had the money, I know I would go wherever I wanted and wouldn't care what they say. But I don't, so I have to grin and bear it.

Another example... my mom calls every day. A few weeks ago I stayed late in the library and had my phone on silent. I got home at about 9.  My mom was freaking out since she knew I usually am home to watch American Idol . She thought I was dead or sick and was in the process of looking up flights to fly down that night or the next morning to come check on me. And I've lived away from home since I was 18! So, the moral of the story is even when you move away, your parents will still try to be in your business.

The best advice I have is to regularly talk to them to keep them from freaking out, tell them all they need to know (my mother is the nosiest person, as well as 'The Mouth of the South', so I don't tell her about anything too personal unless I want to be bombarded with questions or broadcasted to everyone she knows), and once you are out of their house and making your own $$$, you can do whatever you want

Ugh, lsubatgirl! I feel your pain. I moved out of my house when I was 18 - off to college and never came back - but anytime I visited the parentals it was like being under lock and key. I'm 26 now and over Thanksgiving she actually had the nerve to say she didn't want me to go to a friends house one night because he lived out in the country. (I'm from a small, country town. Everyone lives out in the country.) I laughed in her face and told her I wasn't asking her permission but merely doing her the favor of telling her where I would be and what my plans were.

Also, over xmas, I was out with some friends and she called my cell at 1:30am-ish to find out when I was coming home. (I'd already told her I'd be in late.) I was so embarassed because my car was full of people and they all heard.

Maybe I should be more understanding but my mom was so controlling and nosy that I didn't and still don't tell her anything about my life, just for those reasons. The second my parents stopped paying for college, I told her where she could shove it. (She always threatened to take money away if I didn't do what she wanted.)

Anyway, stay strong and when you move away in August, it will be a whole different ballgame. They're your parents and they love you but sometimes parents just get into a habit of feeling entitled to know your business, and it's a hard one to break. Good luck and it'll be over soon!

I've waited to respond to this because I haven't been exactly sure how to say what I feel about this.  Here goes nothin' -

At 23 you are an adult by anyones standards.  You should not be treated like a teenager (and a delinquent one at that) despite the fact you live with your parents.  They have no right to tell you who you can see and what you can/can't do.  They do have a right to decide who they want to allow in their home (friends-wise) and to know when you'll be coming home late or not at all.  They don't have to approve of everything that you do, but they need to be respectful of your ability to make decisions for your (adult) self.

If I only heard your parents side of the story, it would sound like they were attempting to raise an unruly 16-year-old, not a responsible 23-year-old.  You should respect them, but they need to do the same to you.  At this point, you should be notifying them of your whereabouts, not asking them for permission.

Hope that makes some kind of sense.

LSU, I feel your pain!  I am 26 and I have not lived at home since I was 18.  I have 2 younger brothers (21 and 23) who both still live at home.  AND I live with my boyfriend - which my parents don't seem to have a problem with.  But, when I go home to visit my parents don't want me driving after dark?!  wtf?!  So now that I am 26, I have an earlier curfew than when I was in HS? 

Also, when my b/f and I came home for X-Mas, we weren't allowed to sleep in the same bed, which I was ok with - this makes me a little uncomfortable anyway.  My dad told my YOUNGER brother not to have his g/f spend the night (she does this often) b/c it would be a bad influence on your sister!

How crazy is that?!

blubirdie, if you weren't from Texas I might think we had the same mom.  I agree 100% with your advice.  LSU, you telling your mom is a courtesy, you are not asking for permission.

lsubatgirl-

this is a sucky situation for you... and you're parents probably aren't sure how to handle it either.. they just know how they last treated you when you were home in HS and have gone back to that.  if i were you, i would have a heart to heart with your mom and let her know how you are feeling. 

i lived at home for a year after graduating college and even though i did a lot with my parents which i appreciate- i also appreciate that they never gave me  the 3rd degree about what i was doing or how late i was going to be out....

and if you knew my situation (youngest of 4 kids with a 17 year span between me and my sister- plus a sister that passed away when i was 8- you would understand how Extremely over protective my parents were with me)

have a talk with your mom... and be happy in the fact that you will be moving soon!