STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

RyanJ · Coach

Going to a strip club

bumblebee · Dooney & Bourke

no!!! if you don't want to go, don't go. it's the kind of situation where people might try to talk you into it and make you think that you aren't cool if you don't go, but if you aren't comfortable you absolutely shouldn't go just because you don't want to let other people down. i think that it's definitely a very particular taste and if it isn't your thing, don't get bullied into it.

it sounds like your b-f doesn't really want to go either--can you guys just come up with something that you have going on that night, so you are busy? family plans or something? and then you can take the couple out for dinner another night?

-- Edited by bumblebee at 20:47, 2005-04-18

Tati · Chanel

If YOU dont want to go, dont go! if you really dont mind that your bf goes then just tell him that and leave it up to him to decide for himself. I honestly think that his excuse for not wanting to go without you cause they might buy him a lap dance is funny. cause imo i think guys that go there often or just once in a while will get a lap dance sooner or later.

Irene · Dooney & Bourke

Personally I have no problem with it. But you have to do what makes you feel most comfortable.

How close are you to the people getting married? If you are really close, then my opinion would be to go for a short period of time, then leave. There is no need for you to stay the whole evening.

If you are not close, then neither of you should go if you don't feel comfortable.

-- Edited by Irene at 06:25, 2005-04-19

Kel · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: Irene
"Personally I have no problem with it. But you have to do what makes you feel most comfortable. How close are you to the people getting married? If you are really close, then my opinion would be to go for a short period of time, then leave. There is no need for you to stay the whole evening. If you are not close, then neither of you should go if you don't feel comfortable.-- Edited by Irene at 06:25, 2005-04-19"

I agree!

Drew · Gucci

I don't think it's a big deal if you both miss this night. Is the party going to be at the strip club the whole time? If not, just join them when they aren't at the club.

I think sharing in their wedding day and reception is far more important than going to a bachelor/ette party.

Let your boyfriend decide for himself what he is going to do.

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

Thankfully my bf isn't into strip clubs. He is perfectly happy with the Playboy's that I bring him home from work and sometimes he doesn't even look at those. He also cringes at the thought of spending his money at one of those places and having some dirty girl rubbing her body on his nice clothes (he told me that one time and I started cracking up and asked him if was the woman in our relationship or me? HA!!) Anyway, I digress...

All that being said I hate the places and I would probably take one for the team and go if only for a little while. That way you aren't considered "a snob" (I just think you are concerned about personal hygiene) and you both went to the party and showed your support and said your congrats. Tell the bf that you will go for an hour or two at the most. I would even go so far as to tell the bride that you are very happy to be invited, but you do not plan to stay long because you really do not feel comfortable in strip clubs. If she does not respect that than she is not your friend and you shouldn't bother going anyway.

BTW, what club are they planning on going to? One of my sorority sisters' actual sister works at John John's and I went there once. It wasn't too bad, but I think they left us alone because they knew my friend was one of the "employees' " sister.

jess · Kenneth Cole

Haha Farrah- your boy is funny.

However, i agree with Irene in that if you are thouroughly uncomfortable, dont go. Who cares what they think! If its just someplace you dont care to spend all night at- just go show face for a little while and then be on your way.

jen · Kate Spade

I just went last weekend with two friends, my boyfriend and his friend. We were all very drunk and it was very fun

blubirde · Chanel

I don't personally have a problem with strip clubs and I think they're kinda fun if you go with friends and drink a bit.

But I'll share this little story. I went with a group of friends in Vegas recently and one girl acted like she was all happy about going there and as soon as we walked in she made a huge scene and sat with her arms crossed the whole night. It was so annoying and it ruined it a bit for the rest of us. So if you're going to be like that, don't go and ruin the party for the others who actually want to be there.

If you're good friends with them, and if you can tolerate it for a short while, I say go for a small period of time and bail out early. However if you aren't good friends with them and you can't tolerate it, then don't go. They'll understand. Not everyone is cool with strip clubs. (Although I have to say they're not nearly as bad as everyone makes them out to be - if you just relax and have a good time, it's no big deal.)

Good luck!

Metric · Gucci

For some reason going to a strip club is a really hot thing to do in my town, for guys and girls. There are always tons of girls there. I don't really get it but I have had an alright time at one before. I don't see what the big deal is. But it was a pretty classy joint so I wasn't concerned about personl hygiene. Stay for one and have some fun!

RyanJ · Coach

Thanks girls. I don't think I am going to go. I am not so much uncomfy w/ them as they just seem dirty. I would be afraid to touch anything or sit down. I would probably be sanitzing my hands every 5 mins. We don't have "nice" strips clubs around here. They are all hole in the walls next to a liquor store and pawn shop.

My bf and I are both good friends w/ the guy, but we only know his finace for a short time. I don't think anyone (besides my boy) will be upset if I don't go. My bf already comitted to going before he knew they were going to a strip club, so I think I will make him go. My bf is a big boy and if can't handle a few tatters in his face then that is his problem.

blink · Coach

I tried working as an exotic dancer for about four months back in 1999 when I was in the middle of a mental breakdown and emotional shock, I only went into work about twice a month but after this limited experience I say NO. My eyes were opened to what this industry really is. I would never approve of my husband going to a strip club, nor do I have any interest at all in going to one ever again. I have my reasons and they are not due to some odd thing that happened to me, because nothing out of the ordinary happened to me. The bottom line is that exotic dancing is simply a form of soft prostitution and I would never want to show support or acceptance to this industry financially or mentally ever again.

For those who think their men 'behave' in these situations, just remember that every single man (unless he's wasted) who gets a table dance gets stiff (touch not required!) and if you are ok with that, then fine.

This is all my own opinion. Now if one is at peace with what exotic dancing represents, then so long as both partners in a relationship feel this way, there wouldn't be a question if one should go to the club together or not.

bex · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: blubirde
"But I'll share this little story. I went with a group of friends in Vegas recently and one girl acted like she was all happy about going there and as soon as we walked in she made a huge scene and sat with her arms crossed the whole night. It was so annoying and it ruined it a bit for the rest of us. "

omg! i did that once. i have been drug to the strip club twice in my life. the first time i went with my BF and his best friend on a lark. we had a blast just drinking and laughing and i asked the strippers crazy ass questions like "where do you get your outfits?" "where can i find white pleather platform thigh high boots?" etc...

the second time- i was the girl above... i was all "this is gonna be fun" but when we walked in, i saw a girl performing what i thought was a really dirty move on a guy and i just went nutso... my BF was ticked at me... but it really changed my perception...

i say if you are uncomfortable- don't do it. you won't be happy the whole time you are there and its not worth it.

good luck with your decision!