STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

gypsyfreak · Coach

Girl gangraped in school auditorium

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

oh my god, this is wrong on so many levels it literally makes me want to vomit. how can people be so evil?

i hope everyone responsible for this and everyone who let this happen is punished to the full extent of the law. i also hope they burn in hell.

Mia · Kate Spade

What was up with the advice *not* to call police? Surely those school officials had some inkling their jobs might be toast over that?

It's weird how schools so often try to keep parents/whomever from calling police when a criminal act occurs on school grounds. I know this happens a lot with violent bullying. I don't understand it.

bex · Chanel

on the news friday morning they said it was oral sex... not a gang rape... and that the girl was badly bruised... apparently the school officials didn't want the media attention so that is why they didn't want the police involved...

terrible story... i just wonder what the actual facts are on it... apparently one of the students had a video phone and taped some of it that they are using for evidence purposes.

RyanJ · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: bex
"on the news friday morning they said it was oral sex... not a gang rape..."

I don't see much of a difference.

There has been a local radio talk show host that has been talking about this for a few weeks. He is really pissed about it and is keeping on it to make sure something happends about this.

It just makes me feel sick.

Hermes

quote:

Originally posted by: bex
"on the news friday morning they said it was oral sex... not a gang rape...."

oral sex is a form of sexual activity. forcing someone to perform sexual activity against their will is rape. since there was more than one perpetrator raping during the assault that classifies it as gang rape.

this is really sickening. kids are so desensitized these days they think that this type of behavior is in some way ok

- blow jobs are the equivalent of a hickey among teens these days

- there were groups of kids watching and it was in no way a deterrent to the perpetrators (i.e. witnesses, or getting caught doing something wrong (probably because they probably didn't feel they were doing anything wrong))

- plus no one did anything to stop it (that I'm aware of) further communicating that everyone views this as acceptable behavior.

It's just all really sick. With kids being so desensitized with killing and sex these days it concerns me what the future may hold.

I have a theory that because of the amount of time kids spend playing video games and communicating via e-mail/chat/IM/and yes forums that it's not exposing them to person to person contact which develops good social skills including compassion (there is a lot more to communicating than through the written word - written communication is somewhat detached in that there is no reading of expression or body language.) Anyway, I think there is a trend toward declining compassion for the fellow man due to desensitization and poorly developed social skills.

bex · Chanel

oh god- i hope you guys don't think that because it was oral i thought it was okay... no no no! what i was alluding to is the fact that the media takes facts and screws them around so much that it is not even the truth anymore and then it is hard to believe what is true and what isn't...

it was a horrible situation at a pretty decent high school in columbus... i just can't believe that the school officials wanted the parents to "just let it go" and not call in the police... terrible. at least the one kid has evidence with his phone...

Hermes

quote:
Originally posted by: bex
"oh god- i hope you guys don't think that because it was oral i thought it was okay... "

What I read from what you wrote was that the severity may be exaggerated due to the term "gang rape." Gang rape conjures a whole other set of images and severity than forced blow jobs do. So I can kind of understand where I think your were going with that. In no way does the degree of severity lessen the crime though. I just wanted to clarify how it could be correctly defined as gang rape - that's all.

it's horrible that this happened... my heart breaks for that girl and her father.

-- Edited by detroit at 10:25, 2005-04-18

blubirde · Chanel

I think detroit is right, to some degree, that kids are desensitized to violence. But I don't think that has to do with video games or online activity. I think it has to do with being a kid. I wasn't online in highschool and I didn't play video games but someone getting taped up to a pole in my highschool didn't bother me at all. Now I think it's horrible. (Not that I'm comparing that with rape, it's just an example.)

I also think it's a problem with the social atmosphere created in schools. In my high school there were a group of people who could do no wrong, no matter what they did. I was not a part of that group. Those people could get away with murder while poor schlups would get in school suspension for using bad language in a classroom. It was so stupid and it wasn't just students. Teachers and administrators would grant exceptions, special favors, etc. if a person was on a football team or whatever.

It's not right and it's not okay, but it's a product of schools filled with underpaid teachers, underqualified professionals, and conflicting interests in a school system whose main priorities should be the educational growth and well-being of its students, not whether or not a football game is won or if negative media attention could adversely affect one's position.

Imagine being a part of the group of witnesses. On one hand I'm shocked at the idea of no one doing anything to stop it. On the other hand, they were probably pretty scared that something might happen to them if they tried to step in. I'd find it hard to live with myself if I'd been a witness to something so horrible. What a terrible, terrible thing for all involved.

blubirde · Chanel

I have one more comment to make.

WHEN IS VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN GOING TO STOP BEING OKAY?

When are people going to start realizing that rape is not something you can hide in a closet?

IT IS NOT OKAY.

jaymiek · Coach

ugh, I am literally sick to my stomach after reading that. my thoughts and prayers go out to the father and his daughter.

jah · Dooney & Bourke

This is so horrible that I don't even want to contemplate how that poor father feels and how that poor girl will deal with this...

It is unfortunate that the father and daughter were further victimized by the school administration.

Mia · Kate Spade

I also think it's a problem with the social atmosphere created in schools. In my high school there were a group of people who could do no wrong, no matter what they did. I was not a part of that group. Those people could get away with murder while poor schlups would get in school suspension for using bad language in a classroom. It was so stupid and it wasn't just students. Teachers and administrators would grant exceptions, special favors, etc. if a person was on a football team or whatever.

I hear this, Blubirde. When I was in highschool there was a developmentally disabled boy a few years older than us (but in the special ed program for our grade) who take the same school bus as I did. Every single day, while we waited for the bus, a group of 4-6 of the more popular/jock boys would basically beat him up. They'd take turns punching him in the face, until he was bloody. Every. Day. The bus driver, the teachers, the other kids, everyone knew it was happening, and nobody did anything. It makes me want to cry thinking of this guy, they would actually lure him into their group with promises of being his friend etc. And then beat the crap out of him. I also feel guilty for never saying anything. I just didn't want that group of boys to get to me, either (excuse, but also true). *sigh*

-- Edited by Mia at 22:32, 2005-04-18

DC Shopper · Dooney & Bourke

I honestly think children can be more evil than adults sometimes. it makes me sick. people used to throw pennies on the cafeteria floor at lunch b/c there was this one kid who would run after them, compulsively picking them all up. it made me want to throw up. we DO know right from wrong after a certain age. Being a kid is no excuse for committing a crime like this. I just don't understand how all those other kids could just stand around - in my opinion allowing that to happen is just as bad as participating in it. truly disgusting. i hope they all get what they deserve and then some.

Magnolia · BCBG

The phenomenon you're all referring to in which none of the witnesses stepped in to do anything isn't specifically caused by children and teens being desensitized. In fact, if this same thing happened to an adult woman in front of a group of adults, it is highly likely that no one would step in to help. Social psychologists dub this effect the diffusion of responsibility. It's the tendency for each member of the witness group to dilute personal responsibility by spreading the responsibility to other people watching the crime happen. An individual is more likely to act and intervene if he or she is the sole witness to a crime or if one member of the witness group snaps out of that "well no one else is doing something about it" trance then everyone would help. In an odd way, the group sets this standard for itself because people don't like to act out of turn and against the norm.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

magnolia, yeah i remember learning about that in my college psych class. wasn't there a woman (kitty something?) who was stabbed to death in nyc, and she called out for help numerous times, and her neighbors heard her but did nothing?

this situation seems even more disturbing though, maybe my inference is wrong from reading the article but it seems like here everyone stood around WATCHING--do you think this was another example of diffusion of responsibility or is there more to it? i don't know. and i don't know how anyone who was involved in the incident will live w/ themselves regardless.

Magnolia · BCBG

esquiress, I definitely think that this was a case of diffusion of responsibility. Because just like the Kitty Genovese case, the witnesses were all standing and watching. In Kitty's case, the neighbors didn't ignore her cries for help, they stood in their windows (all 38 of them) and watched the man stab Kitty, leave and then come back to repeatedly stab her two more times. The attack happened over a period of time in which no one did anything. I would say that the diffusion of responsibility combined with fear took over. People are also more likely to help if they somehow feel that they feel a common shared fate with the victim. In this case, self preservation probably took over. It's really sad to think that this is the way people function, but since my social psych class is still fresh in my head, I could cite numerous studies in which people all react this way. It's disheartening to say the least.