STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

weird? or just me?

ejc423 · Coach

I don't know--I think it's fine as long as the approach was, "I really like you, so I want to know if you would be interested in dating exclusively" and not a controlling "you cannot see other people". For some people who really hit it off one date is all it takes. One of my college roomates went on a date with this guy and told us if he had told her he loved her, she would have said it back. And she is not a needy co-dependent type. It was just right, and now they are married!

I hope this is the case with your friend. But I don't think it's weird for you to be concerned about it. I would just kind of be on the lookout for other read flags. . . Lots of times, your gut feeling as a friend is pretty accurate.

Andrea Julia · Coach

There are three scenarios that I see as being equally likely:

1. He already knew he liked her and would want to be exclusive with her and then knowing that she had a date gave him the extra push to ask her earlier than he planned.

2. He is jealous and selfish and figured he would ask her to be exclusive just so she wouldn't go on another date. If this is the case, he might decide they "moved too fast" after 2 weeks or so.

3. He is insecure and felt that if she went out with the other guy, she might like the other guy better and drop him. This is not completely bad. It would still mean he really likes her. There would just probably be some insecurity issues in the relationship.

I would like to think it was the first option. Call me crazy, but I like when relationships become exclusive right away. I was just having a conversation with a co-worker about how I missed dating as it was in high school. When I was in high school, every relationship I was in became exclusive right away. Then you would just focus on that one person and building a relationship and then if it didn't work out, you moved on. There was none of that wondering how someone felt or knowing that they were also dating other people. I didn't even realize that there were dating games or playing hard to get. It was just so much more honest and pure...

So, I have good feelings about your friend and this guy! I wouldn't worry about it at all unless he seems like a psycho or jerk. If she had doubts about this guy, I'm sure she would have said no when he asked, knowing that she could go on the other date and maybe like that guy better.

blubirde · Chanel

It's weird!!!

If a guy asked me to be exclusive after one date (assuming it wasn't a friends and we're finally dating type thing), I'd freak out. Of course, I don't typical reactions to committment that a lot of people do, but still.

So it's not just you. I think it's beyond weird, too. And if I were her, I'd run away screaming. But it could be love at first sight... who knows? Maybe it actually does exist?

splash · Kenneth Cole

If the guy liked her that much (and yes, there are other possibilities, like that he's too controlling), then that's great. What bugs me is that evidently she didn't like him enough to cancel the other date until he suggested it.

jacL · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: splash
"If the guy liked her that much (and yes, there are other possibilities, like that he's too controlling), then that's great. What bugs me is that evidently she didn't like him enough to cancel the other date until he suggested it. "

Maybe she did like him enough to be exclusive but wanted to wait until he felt the same way. I have been in that situation before...although unfortunately for me, the guy didn't want me to date other men AND he didn't want to be exclusive, so i just stopped seeing him altogether.