STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

If the only problem for her giving you the money is that it would look bad to have the $1,000 coming out of her account, then just discuss a reduced/no rent situation with her until it's paid off. That sounds like the easiest and best way to handle it. Do you think she'd go for it?

Did you already buy the ticket? If not and the rent thing won't work, I just wouldn't go. Tell her to find a girlfriend or other family member or take the trip by herself. It might do her good to have some alone time to clear her head.

HTH!

ok, i'm about to say something unforgiving and unsympathetic, which i really hate doing, especially when i don't know the whole story.  but here goes: 

i think she's trying to make her problems your problems.  and to a certain extent they will be because she is your mom but i do think you need to distance yourself from her to the extent you can or else she will take you down w/ her.  whatever problems she had/has w/ your stepdad is something you have nothing to do w/.  and this is a very turbulent time, for all we know they could get back together, tear each other to pieces in court, who knows?

i think you should NOT go on this vacation and try to return the ticket.  not just because you can't financially afford it but because it could be a very bad emotional situation as well.  if the transaction has already occurred, take the money out of your rent. 

also, and this is the really mean part:  i think you should try to move out as soon as possible.  if you're gonna be in debt i'd rather it be because you have your own place than because you had to pay for some beach vaca you never even wanted to go on in the first place.  good luck sweetie, we're here for you.

No offense AJ, but I am still floored by the fact that yor mom charges you rent.  I have never understood it when parents do this to their children.  They have to pay it whether you are there or not and you are her child.  Anyway, I digress.

I agree with esquiress wholeheartedly.  When I moved to Chicago I had $700 in the bank $8,000 in cc debt, and I was taking on a $710 month rent payment with no job.  It will be tough for a while, but if you have to pay rent already just figure the rest of it into your budget.  If you have to scrimp on things for a while so be it.  It will be worth it for you in long run.  You need to go be the independant woman that we all know you can be.  Good luck!!

n/m

Yah - I agree that you should just withhold the money from the rent.  Your Mom is going thru a really hard time, and I think you should try to make it easy on her.

However, you are walking a really fine line between being supportive and having her take advantage of the fact that you are an awesome daughter.  Hellp her thru this rough time, but keep in mind that you have yourself to take care of too.