STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Elle · Hermes

yeah, so FH doesn't like Texas . . .

Drew · Gucci

As far as being able to tell if you will like somewhere before you move, well can you visit?

Don't take any of those internet tests to find out where you should live. I took one and while it did list my present home as the number one location, the number two location happens to be my grandparents town and I would jump off a bridge if I thought I had to live there, so, so much for those tests.

I wouldn't want to live in TX either; I can empathize with FH. It's just too big and spread out there, and too much brown.

Consider this; we all have chapters in our lives. We are not in a country that forbids us to move. We can live anywhere. So if you end up in TX or Portland, or the armpit, it doesn't mean you have to live there forever. You can move any time. It's fear that you should fear. Fear keeps people frozen where they are afraid to move because of the unkown. I know from personal experience that you can fall flat on your face and possibly lose everything by moving to a new town. BUT, you can still start over and do just fine (I know that for a fact too).

Good luck!

kenzie · Chanel

Oh that sucks, LMonet!! I completely understand your feelings of not wanting to stay where you started. That's where I'm at right now and I'm not too happy with it.

As far as knowing whether or not you'll like someplace, I think the only way to really know, is to go there and check it out--more than once, for longer than just a weekend. Take a vacation there, more than one if you can. Get to know it beyond the touristy stuff. And even you if you do that and think that will love it, you still might hate afterall, but you won't know that until you move there. But hopefully, at least taking several vacations there will help you to get a better feel for the place.

Good luck!

shopgirl82 · Chanel

also, make a list of what you want.

when i was in school, i did not love the east coast, i wanted to go to boulder sooo bad (i loooove skiing/snowboarding), but i realized that pa. would be better for my goals, aka. graduate college (mountains would not help me graduate).

i met my bf three years ago when i was deciding where i would live after college (i still had hopes of the west), i realized my goals where to be closer to my family (i wanted to prove my mom wrong cuz she said that once i moved to the east coast i would never leave), figure out if i could make the relationship with my bf work if we were in the same state, and be in a fun city. that's why i picked chicago.

i have a feeling my next goals will be where would a good place to raise a family, own a home, good schools, etc...i have a feeling chicago is not it.

if your focus is career, you need to pick a place that meets those goals. if you need the mountains, and the environment, you need to take those into consideration.

i agree with the other girls to visit those places several times. it may be that tx is where you need to be now. good luck. and remind you FH that he has only been there for a couple of weeks. he may not like it cuz YOU'RE not there!

honey · Gucci

having lived in tx for 7 years, i can kind of understand (i never want to live there again), but i have to ask what exactly does he not like about it? not trying to be nosey or read too much into it, but iirc he just moved down there. and that fact, coupled with all the other changes (mainly leaving you) is making me think hating tx is a knee-jerk reaction which is not really based on the place itself but all the other changes. but i could be way off.

bumblebee · Dooney & Bourke

that sucks, lmonet--i hear your frustration because i know you were planning and looking forward to houston and now everything is up in the air again.

when he graduates, where would the good job be? it's hard to tell from your post. i think what drew said is good--the thing is to not get caught up in making a "forever" choice, because you will be paralyzed with fear (that's normal). maybe just take it slower, b-f takes the good job wherever it is and you guys move knowing that it's temporary. then when you get your feet on the ground, take some weekend trips to check out other cities and get a feel for them. you could figure out a way to do it on the cheap.

(((hug))) these things have a way of working themselves out.

lsubatgirl · Gucci

Hey girl I just pm'd you with some stuff. Didn't he just move there? Has he given it a chance yet? Has he explored the city or just gone to work and back? I think once you move he will get better - he's probably just lonely right now. I would just encourage him to stay right now and see how it goes - one day at a time.

jess · Kenneth Cole

quote:
Originally posted by: Drew
I wouldn't want to live in TX either; I can empathize with FH. It's just too big and spread out there, and too much brown.

sorry if im ignorant to something, but what does "too much brown" mean?

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: jess
"sorry if im ignorant to something, but what does "too much brown" mean?"

A fellow Texan myself, I was wondering the same thing. I'm assuming it doesn't mean what I think it means, right?

Man, that sucks LMonet. Houston is not for everyone. If you really like Portland, maybe you'd like Austin? That's where I live now and it's the only place in Texas I'd live. I love it here. It's definitely the kind of city that you can feel at home in and love dearly. I'm not sure what your situation is with moving to Texas, but if Houston's out, Austin's a great place. I've never met anyone who didn't love it.

As far as moving back to Portland, I'd say don't do it based on what you're saying. It sounds like you'll just want to leave again and possibly resent your FH if you go back.

I'd narrow down a list of cities you like, either because you want to move there, there are job opportunities, or whatever and ask around. Start on this forum and see if anyone has any knowledge of the cities. Then branch out and check out travel guides for the particular cities you're interested in and see if they seem to fit with you. And then I'd suggest going on a vaca for a few days in the town, preferably with someone who lives there or has lived there so they can show you all the cool, off-the-beaten path things (or at least give you pointers if they can't go with you).

Also, tell your FH to give it more time. He hasn't been there too long and it may just be a bit of a culture shock to move to Houston from the Northwest. Especially if he's alone and without you.

Drew · Gucci

quote:
Originally posted by: jess
"sorry if im ignorant to something, but what does "too much brown" mean?"

I just mean the landscape. I was in Houston for a few weeks and my most vivid memory of TX is driving through expanses of land, most of it just dirt (ergo brown). Being from the East coast I am used to everything being close and not so much land, esp. great big expanses. Just my personal observation, that's all.

Blubirde, now I am not sure what you mean!

Elle · Hermes

I believe that 'too much brown' is a reference to vegetation/flora/landscape . And if it helps, echo is ultrasound of the heart, FWIW.

Right now, I totally agree that he is in absolute culture shock. As it turns out, we are quite the pair of democratic, coffee-drinking tree-huggers! It's not necessarily bad-different there, but it is different on so many levels that it ceases to be 'normal' for him/us. Basically it has come down to this: It's not what we thought it would be.

Apparently, it's quite the rip-roaring life style down there. Perfect for someone single or someone who is used to/grew up in the south, but otherwise too wound-up for our tastes. We are looking to settle down a bit, buy a house, etc.

As for jobs, the northwest pays the best out of anywhere in the nation. The starting wage in Houston is only $20/hr, which in his field is . In Portland he could start at $25-$27 /hr, the NE is around $22-$25/hr. Fortunately for us, he could go to just about any city in the nation and get a job so our options are pretty open in that respect.

The hospital in Houston: Man oh man! The entire echo lab cusses like sailors - IN FRONT OF THE PATIENTS - and nobody cares or says anything b/c that's 'normal'. They also don't get to take measurements while they image or write reports when they're done with the study (i.e. important things that they went to school for) b/c 'they' want to docs to learn how to do that.

Right now, we're considering areas in MA, NJ, NY area in the hopes that we can find somewhere we might be happy. We are looking for somewhere with a moderate cost of living, near a large-ish city, outdoor/cultural activities, etc. and I know lots of STers live in the NE, so any suggestions are welcome!

I'll keep you all posted on any developments .

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: Drew
" I just mean the landscape. I was in Houston for a few weeks and my most vivid memory of TX is driving through expanses of land, most of it just dirt (ergo brown). Being from the East coast I am used to everything being close and not so much land, esp. great big expanses. Just my personal observation, that's all. Blubirde, now I am not sure what you mean!"

Hey, I just gotta stick up for my Lonestar State!! Yeehaw!

That said, LMonet, I'm a democratic, tea-drinking tree-huggers myself and I'm right at home in Austin. (It's the only blue county around and it's waaaayyy blue.) Lots of outdoor activities, too (one of the fittest cities in some magazine or another) like water stuff - lakes and rivers abound, hiking, lots of bicyclers - Lance Armstrong lives here, etc. You should tell your FH to get his butt on down here for a weekend visit. We're only 2-3 hours away from Htown.

I swear I don't work for the Chamber of Commerce!

P.S. I've never really said yeehaw in real life.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

quote:

Originally posted by: LMonet
"As for jobs, the northwest pays the best out of anywhere in the nation. The starting wage in Houston is only $20/hr, which in his field is . In Portland he could start at $25-$27 /hr, the NE is around $22-$25/hr.

I would think the rate of pay varies due to the cost of living in the area.

The hospital in Houston: Man oh man! The entire echo lab cusses like sailors - IN FRONT OF THE PATIENTS - and nobody cares or says anything b/c that's 'normal'."

This doesn't seem "normal" for conservative, republican south. I would almost think that would be more prevalent in the northeast?!? I know the medical field in general is very liberal and full of drama (maybe why there are so many tv shows set in hospital/medical environments ), so it may not necessarily matter what area you're in.

Anyway, good luck, I'm sure you all will find the perfect place to call home.

Elle · Hermes

My quotes aren't working, but anyway he's been to plenty of good labs (ie professional, maintaing some level of decorum) throughout Spokane and Portland, and if cussing is normal for ANYONE in a hospital ANYWHERE it shouldn't be for heavens sake!

Also, pay in their field is less linked to cost-of-living than you'd think. It's more based on supply/demand, whether a particular city has an echo program, and certification qualifications. Some places on the east coast, you aren't required to have a degree or any kind of certification, so why pay a skilled degree-worker when you can train someone to do the same thing (kinda).

On that note, the issue really becomes the certification levels. They vary widely from program to program, so if a particular area has a low-level certification program, those are the techs that are going to dominate that city and therefore set the standards area hospitals use. In the NW, the echo techs take their pictures, get their mesurements, write the report/diagnose, and inform the doctor what they saw/what is wrong. In many other places (including the hospitals in Houston) the tech only takes the pictures, leaving the measurements and reports/diagnosis to the doctors. So I guess technically he is overqualified for that position anyway - I'll have to inform him of that later ! The search continues!

FashionPrincess · Hermes

quote:
Originally posted by: LMonet
"My quotes aren't working, but anyway he's been to plenty of good labs (ie professional, maintaing some level of decorum) throughout Spokane and Portland, and if cussing is normal for ANYONE in a hospital ANYWHERE it shouldn't be for heavens sake! "

Oh, I agree! I was just saying that especially in a conservative, republican area you would think cussing wouldn't be the norm in a professional environment of any kind!

june · Nine West

Gotta second blubirde's recommendation to check out Austin. Much different than the rest of the state...especially Houston!

lynnie · Chanel

What about other areas in the Northwest- seattle or san francisco or something? It would be a new city but still familiar. Sometimes I think I want to move out west, but sometimes, I think family is more important and I should stay on the east. Plus, my bf loves New York City and is deadset on moving there after graduation. He hates California (no offense west coasters!) and would never live there. So that would be the end of the relationship if I moved there. It's more that I want something new and exciting than that I want to live there. But my home is here, and while I like to pretend that I'm a world traveler- I get homesick. Even a couple of weeks away is hard for me. I also don't want to feel like I"m following around a guy but then, I'm happier when he's there. I can't wait til I one day have a private jet and it won't even matter anymore.

Mia · Kate Spade

I don't know anything about Texas geography but we get a LOT of Americans here in the summer (and lots who own vacation property here) and for some reason the Texans (usually in giant red SUV's!) are always the friendliest/nicest people.

It always takes time to get used to a new place...it's just a matter of getting through that initial "omg this sucks" reaction.

-- Edited by Mia at 19:34, 2005-04-06

blink · Coach

Ok, "ya'll!" Texas is not that bad. Sure, there's the stereotypical red state mentality with the "W" stickers on every other car, and the typical cowboy type or immigrant contractor riding your tail in a big scary red truck with construction stuff flying out of the bed...but there is also an elite, educated, artistic, environmentalist, organic farming, spiritual side. Obviously not the majority by far, but here.

If it's all about the landscape, it just doesn't have a lot of hills and mountains, it's mostly flat with some valleys. in congested areas, it's just a concrete jungle. There are several lakes. As for the climate, I would take a risk and say that possibly outdoor activity isn't as popular here as other states, like CA, because of the high heat mixed with humidity. It kills people, literally.

I have lived in the Dallas area for seven years and I am pretty satisfied. I also travel to Austin and San Antonio often, both are nice cities....and Austin has prettier landscape, and some of the states highest property values I believe.

One thing I love about Texas is the WIDE variety of Mexican, South American, and Tex-Mex food.

Mia is right, people are friendly here. And also there definitely are a lot of SUVs here, and trucks...

But if your FH thinks he will hate it already, then he probably will.

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: lorelei
"Ok, "ya'll!" Texas is not that bad. Sure, there's the stereotypical red state mentality with the "W" stickers on every other car, and the typical cowboy type or immigrant contractor riding your tail in a big scary red truck with construction stuff flying out of the bed...but there is also an elite, educated, artistic, environmentalist, organic farming, spiritual side. Obviously not the majority by far, but here. If it's all about the landscape, it just doesn't have a lot of hills and mountains, it's mostly flat with some valleys. in congested areas, it's just a concrete jungle. There are several lakes. As for the climate, I would take a risk and say that possibly outdoor activity isn't as popular here as other states, like CA, because of the high heat mixed with humidity. It kills people, literally. I have lived in the Dallas area for seven years and I am pretty satisfied. I also travel to Austin and San Antonio often, both are nice cities....and Austin has prettier landscape, and some of the states highest property values I believe. One thing I love about Texas is the WIDE variety of Mexican, South American, and Tex-Mex food. Mia is right, people are friendly here. And also there definitely are a lot of SUVs here, and trucks... But if your FH thinks he will hate it already, then he probably will. "

I hate to hijack the thread and toot Texas' horn, but I can't help it. Texas is a great place to live. We say y'all, we can turn shit into a four syllable word, we love our margaritas & migas, and we love our spring wildflowers, especially bluebonnets. We're also super-friendly (wouldn't dare cut someone off on the highway without a polite wave) and in Austin at least, there are way more Ws with a slash through them than there are Ws. It's not a perfect place to live, by any means, but it is truly unique and the people who live here are very loyal to it and proud of it.

That said, it's not for everyone. Your FH might learn to love it, like a lot of people, or he might think it's just too different, like a lot of people. I hope he gives it a chance so he can at least be happy while he's here, even if y'all (see!) don't end up moving here.

Good luck either way!