STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

RE: should I bother anymore?

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

choo:
All this to say, maybe this just isn't a great time for fashion? Has anyone else been having this shopping problem?

This brings up a total chicken-egg argument, but Choo may be right about it not being a great time for fashion. I know that, in the furniture industry, companies start making many more safe design decisions when the economy is crappy. More beige, more neutral, less fun, less innovation, less color. Maybe this attitude is affecting the fashion world too. Either way, I really think the economy has everybody down in the dumps and it is seeping into the forum.

Even if you have money, it's hard to spend and not feel any guilt or worry. Friends, co-workers' families, acquaintances, strangers are all dropping out of the workplace like flies, and it is easy to beat myself up for having an interest in fashion and spending "at a time such as this."

Also, with fewer people on the forum, I notice that I hold back more from posting because I feel like I don't want to overpost, blab, post for the sake of posting, be annoying, overtake the whole place.

I have some ideas that i'll post in a new conversation.

Vanessa · Kate Spade

D - I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I don't frequent forums at all except this one and don't even know what other forum the girls are migrating to, but here are my two cents. You should keep this forum going because simply said, there is no other place like it. It is the one and only place I go to when I need help - be it about fashion, food, home, or even personal issues. I love the fact that the ladies here are nice, educated and sincere. I trust you ladies in an inexplicable way. I not only trust you with personal issues, but also with the knowledge that anything I ask will be answered intelligently and wisely. My bf makes fun of me when I say "I'm going to ask the girls on the forum". Your collective opinion is highly valuable. Though I have never been a huge poster, I would miss this forum tremendously if it disappeared. I think many of us feel this forum is like our favorite comfy sweater: not new and exciting anymore, but always good. Something that is sometimes taken for granted but would be terribly missed if gone.
As far as frequency of posts - well, my passion was primarily in fashion. I hardly posted outside that section, and since all of my funds and energy have gone into shopping for a new home, I haven't "kept up" if you will. Sometimes I read a post and have no idea what is being talked about! Then I get slightly sad bc I used to be so "in the know" once upon a time. I guess I just gave the reason why I don't post much, which you didn't ask for :)
May I ask what you would like to see happen in order to keep the forum going?

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

I also wanted to add that I don't frequent other fashion forums... but will make more of an effort to contribute even though I don't feel very fashionable!

lynnie · Chanel

D wrote:

Kincali wrote:

This is going to be an odd observation, but it seems that snark/sarcasm has become the taste du jour for blogs/forums. This is a subject I've been thinking about for a while, so maybe I should start a separate post.

Anyway, I feel people are more attracted to the drama/snarkiness rather than discussing fashion. Maybe everyone is so angry/miserable right now, that is it a way to take it out on someone else, and it helps to have some one feel worst than you do. Somewhere along the line, being snarky/rude has been confused with having real humor and wit.

I come here because people are kind & supportive of each other, and not just to their "clique", but to everyone that posts. I guess my point is that even though this forum feels safe, apparently it isn't entertaining enough, at least for the world we are living in now.

But you know what, I'm an overly sensitive person. I take things to heart that I probably shouldn't, and I've always been over protective of the little guy. So what do I know?

I'm a mostly silent poster on here, and I do miss some of the older posters that are now gone(Smash, DC, Courtney, Mia etc), so maybe I feel out of rhythm on here now. Plus, I have my own blog, and I try to keep it separate from this forum.

I don't want this forum to end either, maybe you should start making everyone have to post at least 5x a week or something to get it rolling? Maybe we should talk about poop, and dicks, and make fun of each others purchases?

you are so spot on. that's it.

it's funny. whenever I discussed stylethread in a business sense, I always said the core competency was "safe community." A core competency is something that your business does better than anyone else and is difficult to replicate. A core competency is what one should focus on when growing a business, which is what I tried to do until my new techie partner flaked on me this past fall.

I have been a very protective mother hen.

I too have wondered if we're "too nice." But I prided myself in setting us apart as a "nice" community. We used to have our moments when we weren't. Yes, there were some good posters back in the day. I guess the best we can do is just mention stylethread.com when we're at other forums to try to get some fresh traffic over here.

Remember when the lucky forums sucked, and was teeming with trolls? everyone just marched right over to FH, and a new community was born. A safe, nice community. It's contradictory to the theory we're discussing, but it's amazing how people can migrate.

ok, everybody - start being assholes! nobody likes a nice woman

now, another thing that sets us apart, as well as what I think makes us nicer, is that we tend to be an accomplished and educated group of women, hence more evolved mentally and emotionally... I guess I prefer to hang out with accomplished and educated women...

I like that this is a nice community. However, (and this isn't directed at anyone) I find myself censoring opinions at certain times.

Because we all "know" and like each other, I'm worried about someone taking offense to the fact that I don't like a piece of clothing, a store, or a certain brand. If I say- i HATE juicy couture and their branding (which I do! sorry!)- I feel like I will offend someone personally that doesn't. And I don't mean it in a personal way. At all. But we should all be able to say what we think in a frank, honest way. I don't think that's mean spirited or snarky. It makes things more interesting.

Also- agree that it is a bad time in fashion. Everything seems done. I'm waiting for the inevitable shift. Consumers will become more creative with this recession and designers hopefully will step up their game to stay relevant. Capitalism for ya. Hope they don't stay too safe.

Anyway.. I post when I can but I wish others would too!

lynnie · Chanel

lynnie wrote:

D wrote:

Kincali wrote:

This is going to be an odd observation, but it seems that snark/sarcasm has become the taste du jour for blogs/forums. This is a subject I've been thinking about for a while, so maybe I should start a separate post.

Anyway, I feel people are more attracted to the drama/snarkiness rather than discussing fashion. Maybe everyone is so angry/miserable right now, that is it a way to take it out on someone else, and it helps to have some one feel worst than you do. Somewhere along the line, being snarky/rude has been confused with having real humor and wit.

I come here because people are kind & supportive of each other, and not just to their "clique", but to everyone that posts. I guess my point is that even though this forum feels safe, apparently it isn't entertaining enough, at least for the world we are living in now.

But you know what, I'm an overly sensitive person. I take things to heart that I probably shouldn't, and I've always been over protective of the little guy. So what do I know?

I'm a mostly silent poster on here, and I do miss some of the older posters that are now gone(Smash, DC, Courtney, Mia etc), so maybe I feel out of rhythm on here now. Plus, I have my own blog, and I try to keep it separate from this forum.

I don't want this forum to end either, maybe you should start making everyone have to post at least 5x a week or something to get it rolling? Maybe we should talk about poop, and dicks, and make fun of each others purchases?

you are so spot on. that's it.

it's funny. whenever I discussed stylethread in a business sense, I always said the core competency was "safe community." A core competency is something that your business does better than anyone else and is difficult to replicate. A core competency is what one should focus on when growing a business, which is what I tried to do until my new techie partner flaked on me this past fall.

I have been a very protective mother hen.

I too have wondered if we're "too nice." But I prided myself in setting us apart as a "nice" community. We used to have our moments when we weren't. Yes, there were some good posters back in the day. I guess the best we can do is just mention stylethread.com when we're at other forums to try to get some fresh traffic over here.

Remember when the lucky forums sucked, and was teeming with trolls? everyone just marched right over to FH, and a new community was born. A safe, nice community. It's contradictory to the theory we're discussing, but it's amazing how people can migrate.

ok, everybody - start being assholes! nobody likes a nice woman

now, another thing that sets us apart, as well as what I think makes us nicer, is that we tend to be an accomplished and educated group of women, hence more evolved mentally and emotionally... I guess I prefer to hang out with accomplished and educated women...

I like that this is a nice community. However, (and this isn't directed at anyone) I find myself censoring opinions at certain times.
Because we all "know" and like each other, I'm worried about someone taking offense to the fact that I don't like a piece of clothing, a store, or a certain brand. If I say- i HATE juicy couture and their branding (which I do! sorry!)- I feel like I will offend someone personally that doesn't. And I don't mean it in a personal way. At all. But we should all be able to say what we think in a frank, honest way. I don't think that's mean spirited or snarky. It makes things more interesting.

Also- agree that it is a bad time in fashion. Everything seems done. I'm waiting for the inevitable shift. Consumers will become more creative with this recession and designers hopefully will step up their game to stay relevant. Capitalism for ya. Hope they don't stay too safe.

Anyway.. I post when I can but I wish others would too!

Oh.. something I also thought of. Maybe there are too many posting categories??? It is nice that it is so organized, but sometimes I will post something in travel (like that post with Paris tips! I can't wait to go!) and feel like no one sees it. And I'll feel bad posting something in General that has a category- like wanting home decorating advice.

Thoughts?

Hermes

so, to sum it up, we need people to post. and more people than just the handful of us.

please don't be afraid of posting candid opinions. the only thing that's not allowed are direct attacks. there are ways of setting up a statement as well, like "I know some of you like juicy, but I have to say I think..." I think we could handle that.

I think part of the problem is we all "know" each other. it's like a work place, you're carful about what you say, because people may be put off by you, and you still have to see them every day. the snarky forums have greater anonymity because they're new.

Let's start acting like we don't know each other smile

so far, in response to my initial post, the reasons we should keep st going are:
1. support system for all facets of life
2. ?
help me here...

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

I really enjoy reading over here. I can say that I went through a period where I was too "cheap" to bother about fashion and well my closet has turned very boring and mundane. I have to say that in the week I've been "back" and posting I have bought 3 really cute dresses that I am looking forward to wearing. So I appreciate having ST around for me to get some shopping/fashion help.

I will say that I wasn't aware of how slow things have gotten around here when I first posted. I just figured no one wanted to answer my questions when I posted for help. But now that I'm more aware I'm not as put off by things. I'll also work towards promoting ST and being more active.

Tati · Chanel

Don't give up on us! This is the only place I can go and vent, get advice in a lot of things in my life.
Even though I've pissed of people (actually just one person, I hope only 1) in here in the past and they never logged in after....I didn't help us, sorry. But again, everyone's different in here and we all just gotta respect each others differences in life.
Plus, if I ever do go out somewhere fancy or buy something new, I know I can trust you guys to tell me the truth on if I should change outfits or don't bother buying this or that.
I love that we all know each other in here, and for those that left, well Peace!

I will try and do my part and try to post in topics that I can. . . . . .

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

I'm definitely a constant reader and need my daily ST fix. As to posting, I go through stages. Most of the time I don't feel I have much relevant to add...I'm such a bargain shopper and most of my things feel boring.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

D wrote:

so far, in response to my initial post, the reasons we should keep st going are:
1. support system for all facets of life
2. ?
help me here...

from a business sense: I feel like this forum has a different asthetic/ clientele than most others. It goes back to what you said before about a lot of us being older, intelligent, successful. I also think that the posters here put a lot less emphasis on designer things than other forums. Not to say that we don't love designer things, but I feel liek we put style above label here more than other sites do.

and from a personal perspective: because I like y'all and if the site shuts down I'll lose track of you!!

Hermes

Kincali wrote:

ico wrote:

... and - may be it's me only, but I really have a little concern when posting here.
I don't live in the US, so if I post something I bought, which has some exotic name, even if it's something from the cheapest store down the street, but which has an italian name, I am afraid to come out as snobby...

I know I am just being paranoid...

oh no please post! I love hearing about different things to buy. The hubby and I are trying to save up enough money to go back to Europe in the fall so I am always interested in brands over there.

I agree - please don't hesitate! if someone thinks you're snobby because you're sharing information, then they have a problem...

subwolley · Kate Spade

I don't post much anymore because I don't shop much anymore. I know it's been said a million times, but in this day and age, going on big shopping sprees isn't an option anymore.

Also, my whole reasoning for coming to this board is to get ideas on a budget...which there doesn't really seem to be much of lately. Like some else said above, I don't really want to see everyone's expensive purchases. That's great you can buy those things, but I'm really more into finding things on a budget. Also I haven't bought anything worth posting.

Also I think everyone on this board should be able to post whatever without feeling like they are censoring themselves. I don't think anyone here attacks others. I'm not going to be offended is someone thinks differently than me and vise versa.

On another note, I would like to see a different board color/theme.

Oh, and I don't post on any other beauty forums, this is the only one for me.

Hermes

ILoveChoo wrote:

D wrote:

so far, in response to my initial post, the reasons we should keep st going are:
1. support system for all facets of life
2. ?
help me here...

from a business sense: I feel like this forum has a different asthetic/ clientele than most others. It goes back to what you said before about a lot of us being older, intelligent, successful. I also think that the posters here put a lot less emphasis on designer things than other forums. Not to say that we don't love designer things, but I feel liek we put style above label here more than other sites do.

and from a personal perspective: because I like y'all and if the site shuts down I'll lose track of you!!

I agree that we are less label-conscious, and more style oriented. I'd like to focus on that more in our future editorial direction.

the last thing I want to do is shut down the site. seriously. If I could have it my way, I will be handing the reins to someone else on my deathbed. however, paying for a forum that has no posters doesn't make sense either. it's up to everyone to keep it alive.

Hermes

subwolley wrote:

Also, my whole reasoning for coming to this board is to get ideas on a budget...which there doesn't really seem to be much of lately. Like some else said above, I don't really want to see everyone's expensive purchases. That's great you can buy those things, but I'm really more into finding things on a budget. Also I haven't bought anything worth posting.

I guess I come here for the comraderie, since I have not bought anything in a while. Since August, I have bought 3 sweaters, 3 tops, a pair of hiking boots, running shoes and sunglasses. All on deep discounts.

I have been trying to focus more on stretching your closet, hence the scarf post. Kenzie also offered to do some look for less stitches. I think the proper direction for us right now, is creativity with our wardrobe. this can be done without purchases or just better thought-out purchases that can make the most of what we have.

ayo · Coach

I'd consider myself an old school poster :)..
anyway Vanessa sort of expressed some of my sentiments. This place has become like my internet home. Ya'll have been there when I got engaged, married, had a baby etc...
Funny enough, I was reading an email from MIA the other day and wondering where she disappeared to. Eh well

Hey by the way guys (off topic) I went to a DVF show at Fashion week yesterday..
I need to start a post about my experience and post pics..
I had so much fun...

Hermes

ayo wrote:

I'd consider myself an old school poster :)..
anyway Vanessa sort of expressed some of my sentiments. This place has become like my internet home. Ya'll have been there when I got engaged, married, had a baby etc...
Funny enough, I was reading an email from MIA the other day and wondering where she disappeared to. Eh well

Hey by the way guys (off topic) I went to a DVF show at Fashion week yesterday..
I need to start a post about my experience and post pics..
I had so much fun...

don't know what happened to mia either. I've been a little concerned about halleybird as well.

please share the DVF experience! how cool!

Elle · Hermes

I dunno, I guess I've never been a big purchaser, certainly not of designer items - that doesn't mean it isn't fun to help other people find items they need or want, or to see something I like and recreate it with more budget-friendly items, or talk about our shopping methods, etc. Having the ability to tap into the collective shopping knowledge of everyone here is an awesome resource! I'm hardly the most fashionable one around - just because we don't all wear designer stuff and sky-high heels everyday doesn't mean we don't like them or wouldn't want to comment on what's cute/not.

As for people censoring themselves - I think that's where some of the fun of the forum fell by the wayside. We're all friends and want to be nice to each other, but that doesn't mean we can't respectfully disagree about things and hash them out, learning more about our own perspectives and those of others as we go. We've had so few outright attacks on people here, and most of those were from some troll anyway! If someone asks what others think, say what you think - that doesn't mean you have to be cruel, but hopefully everyone can handle honesty.

D - I said 'like' they are all running around with fabulous things to do besides hang out here with us. In the sense that anyone who gets ditched feels like their former friend/boyfriend/whomever must be off living a fantastic, charmed life with someone much hotter, younger, and richer than you. It's rarely true I know, but that's where my imagination (er, ego) always go first ...

.

NCshopper · Hermes

Late to pipe in here, but I'd be heartbroken if anything ever happened to ST. I know it takes a lot of time and money to keep it going and for what you've done here D, I'm incredibly grateful. I also completely understand your frustrations right now: it's been noticably slow here and to see an online community that was once thriving and buzzing all day long just slow down so dramatically has got to be infuriating from your end.

I know my posting has decreased a lot lately, but I still find this community extremely valuable. For one, it's helped me save money in the long run. It sound counter-intuitive, but this forum has helped me become a smarter shopper.

Secondly, this forum's given great career and relationship advice. I had a pretty awful job situation about 3 years ago and I got a lot of great advice from the ladies here that helped me get out of that and into a job where I'm much happier. Same goes for the occasional friendship/relative advice that I've needed.

Third, this place is a great source of stress relief for me. Whether it's been to bitch and moan about something that's bugging me or to relate funny stories with smart, witty women, I've often found that one of the great things about this site, aside from fashion, is just some simple stress relief.

Finally, and I think most importantly, is that this in its heydey, this community felt like a group of my best girlfriends. There have been times I've laughed out loud, cried, prayed, grieved, and celebrated for so many women here. We've seen each other through really, really good times and really, really bad times and while a lot of the time we've been "nice" to each other, there have also been a lot of times when people have gotten some tough love because we genuinely care for one another here.

There's a lot more I could say, but I'll leave it at that for now.

I really, really hope you don't close the forum, but if you do, my only request, D, is that you'd give us some notice so that we can all make a transition to another forum together. I'd really hate to lose contact with you and/or the other regular posters.

Metric · Gucci

I'd really be sad if ST didn't exsist anymore. I'm really sad, actually, that its as slow as it is.

I don't mean to be a sh*t-disturber, because it isn't any ones fault but I haven't been posting much lately because I feel like when I do post I don't get a response. Not getting a response doesn't make me want to post. I've just been lurking a lot.