STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

nyc_shopgirl · Dooney & Bourke

Guest issues

Tati · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: nyc_shopgirl
"
I keep telling him lets put her on probation if she does not make any effot with me to be nice then she is out. He is like she should not have to make an effort with you she is my friend. "

o-hell now! She does need to make an effort with you! your husband should care that his b-friend get along with you, boy or girl, dosen't matter. if she acts dumb or shows she dosen't care for you then your fiance needs to talk to her and ask her what her deal is.

Irene · Dooney & Bourke

Hmmm, my feelings are this. This lady does not need to be your friend. As long as she is respectful to you, that is all that is required. Just because she is your fiance's friend, that doesn't make her have to be yours. If she is civil, respectful, and just plain decent, I think she has fulfilled her requirements.

Now when it comes to the wedding, there are going to be so many people there and you won't be spending any significant amount with them. And trust me, you won't even notice that she is there. I understand your feelings because I am in a similar situation. However, you have to give a little on this one. She is your fiance's best friend from high school and she is obviously important to him. If you forbid her from coming he is going to resent you for it. So, like I said before, unless she has ben nasty or rude to you, there isn't any real reason to not let her go to the wedding.

lsubatgirl · Gucci

I agree with Irene on this one. You aren't going to be seeing her on your wedding so you shouldn't worry if she is there or not. She may even decide not to go.

If you see her on a regular basis then I might be upset if she isn't all happy and friendly with you but if you see her once in a while let it go.

RyanJ · Coach

I am torn on this because I am keep thinking "it is your wedding and if you don't want her there then she should not be there", but then I remember it is his wedding too.

I think if is a situation where you never really liked because she never made an effoft to be nice to you then then I say you invite her because it is important to your fiance

BUT if they dated in high school and it is an ex turned friend - then I say say "o-hell no!"( thanks Tati!).

Like the other girls said- you will probably be so busy that you don't even know she is there, so try not to let it bother you too much.

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

quote:
Originally posted by: nyc_shopgirl
" He is like she should not have to make an effort with you she is my friend. "

JMO, but if my FH made this comment he would be my ex-FH.

My bf had a friend that was really poopy to me a while back and I told him about it. He did what any good SO should do, he told his friend to fix it or he wasn't going to be his friend anymore. I also ditched a few of my college friends because they were constantly talking trash about my bf. My thinking is screw them if they can not respect my relationship.

If it were me and I were uncomfortable I would say she doesn't come. Does he seriously want to make you uncomfortable on the most important day of your lives? Of course, that is easy to say because my bf and I get along famously with each other's friends.

nyc_shopgirl · Dooney & Bourke

Just for clarification: They were friends in high school he took her to senior prom and liked her but she never liked him back. A year later he and I met and have been together since. He rarely sees her or talks to her on what I would deem a regular basis.

I have told him that I will make a significant effort to be nice to her and try to like her. I was a b*tchy sorority girl in college so this is quite easy for me. If she does not try I told him we would have to re-evaluate whether or not she will be on the guest list. I just want her to acknowledge my existance and attempt to be nice or civil. Not completely snub like she has in the past.

MY FH birthday party is in a few weeks she is supposedly coming and we will see how things go from there. I am trying to be the bigger person by being nice first but if it is not reciprocated then I am definitely not letting her come to my special day.