STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Hi Dizzy!  I find that when I post something on a weekend, the response rate is lower. 

I have been on a 10 year losing streak when it comes to guys.  If I don't like a guy, he falls for me hard.  If I do like a guy, he stops calling.  And there is no rhyme or reason to it:  I have gone on dates that went fabulously well and the guy even tells me over and over that he had a great time and then I never hear from him again.  Alternately, I have gone on dates that seem like the guy doesn't like me at all and isn't having fun, and then he calls the next day.  I was just thinking about this this morning.  I was trying to analyze whether the guy I met last night is going to call me and then it occured to me that there is no way I can tell by his actions if he is going to call. 

I wish I had some advice for you because then that would mean I would know what to do about it myself.  All I can tell you is that a lot of people are going through what you are.  Just keep busy.  Sometimes guys seem to appear at the exact moment that you don't really have time for them.  You haven't been lucky with finding guys at the usual places you go, so try some new places.  Get your friends to go to a new club or take a fun class. 

I hope this helps a little.  This really isn't an area I am too knowledgeable about.

Oh Dizzy, of course you're not alone!  I just don't have a computer at home so I never see weekend posts til monday at work.  anyways, back to you.  ok, i'm trying to review what i've learned about you so far...you're in law school (first year?), are getting over a player, have plenty of guy friends (mostly from law school, i'm assuming?), and most importantly, you give really good level headed advice to all of us here.  all that tells me that there are some life changes going on but you've got a good head on your shoulders and the guy thing will work itself out.  a couple of q's (but don't feel obliged to answer if you don't want to)...was the player a guy from school?  and what do your guy friends have to say about the situation?  also, do you find your feelings for the player affecting your actions w/ new guys?  like moving too fast w/ them in an effor to get the player out of your head?

I didn't realize you were in law school until Esquiress said it. Speaking as a graduated (for almost two whole years now!) law student - the guy pool sucks ass there. Seriously, I've never seen such an unattractive (both on the inside and outside) group of men together at the same time. With very few exceptions, I encourage you to look elsewhere for your dates. The few boys that are cute in law school know they're cute and just want to hook-up with as many girls as possible. I'm sure you know this! I avoided law school guys like the plague when I was there. It didn't take long to see it was like a less grown-up version of high school.

That said, dating is a feast or famine activity. The second you have one date, you have twenty. The minute you don't have a date, you can't buy one. It's weird that way. I guess it's probably our attitude or something. When we have dates, we don't need them as much and when we don't have them, we get kind of desperate for them. I suggest some homework: 1) do something for yourself once a week (i.e. getting your nails done, get a massage, even a bubble bath if it feels like a treat). 2) do things and accept invitations you wouldn't normally do/accept. If some co-worker asks you to join their domino group for a night, and you'd normally balk at the idea (maybe just me), do it anyway. Go for it. Try something new. Opening yourself up to new adventures can open yourself up to new people, too. This is what I do when I start to get in a dating rut and it hasn't failed me yet! Good luck!

Oh, and I totally would have responded to your post if I'd read it before right now!