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Gucci

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Posts: 2747
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This friendship is sinking... (Long!)
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I need some advice on how to handle this bizarre friend situation.

Background: For 5 years I worked for a company owned by this really great chick, C. She was 10 years older than me, lots of fun, and 75% of those 5 years the company was just her and I running the show (it was a small catering company/gourmet foods store). Unfortunately last year, she had some financial issues and she shut down the company, I got laid off which was actually the best scenario as I was tired of the industry but didn't want to quit and hurt her feelings or our friendship.

We stayed friends, I got a new job, she got a job, all was well. 

Fast forward to May of this year. One evening I get a call from my Mom saying C had just called her and was completely drunk out of her mind. She totally cursed my Mom out- calling her a f*cking *ss*ole and other incomprehensible things. I don't know why she called my Mom (she knows my Mom and has met her many times) or for what reason she did that, but I was pissed. My Mom was completely shocked by it.

A few days later I ran into C's husband and told him what happened. He was surprised and knew nothing about it. I assumed after that he probably mentioned it to her but I don't know.

Fast forward to this month... I haven't talked to C, I refused to call her until she apologises or at least explains herself so I didn't hear from her all summer. She finally emails me on Facebook and says
"Hey I haven't talked to you in a long time, how are things?"

I reply "I haven't really talked to you since you called my Mom that time and cursed at her. I don't know what that was about and at this point, I'm not sure I even want to know. I'm just still mystified and disappointed that something like that would occur.
Anyway, I hope all is well with you."

I admit, I'm still super pissed about it. I didn't want to bitch her out in the email but I wanted her to know where I stand. Its been three weeks and she hasn't replied, even though I know she's logged on. I had at least hoped for an apology of any sort.

Where do I go from here? Can our friendship recover after this? I do want to keep her as a friend, also since I worked for her for 5 years she is my best work reference. I feel like the ball is in her court and she won't serve it back. What do you think? Am I being to harsh?

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Kelly


Hermes

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Posts: 5919
Date:
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I don't think you're being too harsh - she is an adult and should know better than to do something like that. And if she doesn't know better, or is too inebriated to know better (her first mistake), she should have acted like an adult and swiftly apologized the next morning, and completely groveled at your mom's feet. On the chance that she didn't remember it (she was drunk, after all), she did learn from either her husband or you. And then she should have apologized.

I really don't know what to tell you. I think the ball is in her court, and even if she is completely embarassed over the whole thing, that doesn't excuse her silence. You and your mom both deserve an apology at this point. But I'm guessing that she'll remain silent until you try to get her to open up, so even though it's not your job to make her talk, you may need to if you want to save your friendship. You could be as forceful as to call her up and say, "I hate that we haven't been talking, but honestly it's because of what happened with my mom, and until I know what happened and why, I don't know if I can move past it."

Then she'll HAVE to explain herself or apologize, or (hopefully) both.

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Fashion is art you live your life in. - Devil Wears Prada | formerly ttara123
Suasoria


Chanel

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Posts: 3120
Date:
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ITA with Ttara. I think your reply was upfront and sincere. It's weird that she can't muster a response, even something lame like she dialed the wrong number. I can understand that she's embarrassed, but still, three weeks? Long enough for her to come up with something.



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