STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Pepper · Kenneth Cole

Another Question

poptart · Coach

It's definitely normal! I work with a lot of teenagers. I would suggest an outing or an evening doing something his parents might not do for him - kind've a treat to break the ice. Does he like movies? video games? Maybe you could take him to see a movie or rent a movie/game and order a pizza. Just beware he'll probably try to get you to take him to or rent something his parents won't let him have - find the "middle road" choice - something they might not want to see themselves, but that isn't totally objectionable. HTH

cc · Marc Jacobs

Hmm I would be inclined to leave him alone. When I was that age I always hated when babysitters or relatives wouldn't just let me sit in my room or always tried to make small talk with me. Lisa's suggestions of going to or renting a movie are good though because then you guys can just sit there and there won't be any pressure on either one of you to talk.

Alegria · Kate Spade

I feel your pain, my son has been tweleve for the past 10 months and seriously I think boys are worse than girls. Is the 17 year old there for him or does he ignore him? I have come to find that it is best to give them their space. I remember wanting to be left alone at 12. He'll come around and then probably revert back to ignoring you. That's just the way they are. As long as he's not being bratty, rude, or pushing boundaries-don't push him too hard, just be "normal", and everything will be fine.

bumblebee · Dooney & Bourke

i keep trying to respond to this and it keeps deleting itself!!

my brothers and i used to have nannies when our parents traveled, but not full-time ones when they were in-town, so it always seemed really cool to have a different adult around who did things differently and had a totally new routine for a while. my favorite one used to bring over old movies that she loved (like "the african queen" and things like that)--my parents are not really into movies and especially classic cinema, so i loved to be treated to this cool world that i didn't know anything about. one time one of my aunts came to stay with us and she spent all afternoon one rainy day in the kitchen making her specialty--meatballs and sauce. we hung around and helped her and it was great because, again, it was something completely foreign that my mom never did.

anyway, it sounds like the kid is kind of shy, but maybe if you just started doing something, that would give him the opportunity to come out of his shell a little bit and interact with you without putting too much pressure on him. do you have dvd's of movies that are your favorites that he may not have seen or ever heard about? or a favorite dish that you like to make that maybe the kids could watch/help you make?

Pepper · Kenneth Cole

Thanks for the advice you guys. You are making me feel at ease that this is normal for a 12 year old boy and it is not totally me. Thank you!!!

Maddie · Coach

I would pretty much leave him alone. 12 isn't that young, I doubt he's being alone cause he's upset, he probably just doesn't have a ton of interest in hanging out with a female adult he doesn't know. When I was younger I always hated the awkwardness of babysitters. I would attempt to treat him to stuff though. Let him stay up later than usual, have more ice cream, watch a little more TV.