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Post Info TOPIC: augh
audrey


Nine West

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a couple of months ago, i started hanging out with my friend's ex-boyfriend more often, with whom i was already friends, and as time passed, feelings grew, and he wanted more. The whole thing was weird; i couldn't tell her about it until after the fact, and she had told me she wasnt quite over him, and she still thought about him all the time. So, i tell him i can't see him romantically b/c she's one of my best friends and i dont want to jeopardize our relationship. ok. so me and the boy still talk in classes and such, but he never mentions her, nor has he ever.


but she mentions him. mostly b/c they've started talking again, and she wants me to know. They've gone on a few 'dates.' i dont know if thats what they are exactly but after not talking/hanging out for 8 months, they're suddenly at the level of comfort to cuddle and kiss. This starts right after I told him i couldnt see him.


So, my take on this is that he was never over her, and i was the catalyst to his recognition of this fact and it pisses me off. i feel like he dragged me into a bad situation for nothing and i'm slightly hurt. turning down a guy for a friend. NOT the first time this has happened. but it's good i turned him down right? i cant see this situation clearly.



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lsubatgirl


Gucci

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Ugh that does suck.  I would look at it as he is either the type that can't handle being alone or he was never over her.  I wouldn't worry about him and you passing him up- there are better guys out there.

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blink


Coach

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yes, you did the right thing and it sounds like he was not over her, though to me it doesn't sound like he has too much respect for either of you. 

-- Edited by lorelei at 17:09, 2005-02-06

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Andrea Julia


Coach

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quote:
Originally posted by: lsubatgirl
"Ugh that does suck.  I would look at it as he is either the type that can't handle being alone or he was never over her.  I wouldn't worry about him and you passing him up- there are better guys out there."
I agree with lsubatgirl.  I don't know why your friend would bother with this guy either.  They don't talk for 8 months and then all of a sudden, you turn him down, and he starts dating her.  I would feel majorly suspicious about his intentions if I were her.

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blubirde


Chanel

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Did you tell her about the timing of the situation? I wonder if she'd still want to be with him if she knew...


But you did the right thing turning him down. He may suck and she may be making bad decisions but you acted with integrity and in the interest of friendship. You can never go wrong with that!



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jah


Dooney & Bourke

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I think you were absolutely right to turn him down, but guys think about these things differently than girls.  I have to wonder if it is possible that he is only getting back with your friend to get your attention...the timing just seems too convenient. 



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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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i have only once ever picked a guy over a friend. he cheated on me four months later. well, actually, i found out he'd been cheating on me the whole time four months later. i am not hte one to give dating advice, but i say forget him. they'll probably break up pretty soon anyway and he'll be out of your life, anyway.

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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wait, i forgot that you were already friends with him. that changes it a bit. still, it's a little weird that he can't survive two weeks without dating one or the other of you.

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