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Post Info TOPIC: Oh goodness....help me. Clingy people.
lynnie


Chanel

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Oh goodness....help me. Clingy people.
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I met a girl (friend of a friend- not sure how close they are though) for a drink as a favor because she wanted to ask me some questions about my job and "network". We got along well and I (at the time) wouldn't have minded hanging out with her again. However, life is busy (which I hate to say as an excuse but it's true) and I've had people in town or been out of town for the past 3 weekends so I haven't had free time. But this girl is relentless. She will email me multiple times a day; overshare her sex life; ask me if I found her a job yet, call me, text me, message me... I told her I may be out of town this weekend because really, I need time to myself. She emailed me twice to see if I was going and called last night but I didn't pick up.

I don't even want to see her again at this point. Not because I didn't have fun with her but because I don't want her to become even MORE clingy. I find her so annoying now. I know she is somewhat new to the city but i find you can never push too hard. I can also tell from what she tells me about her relationships that she is like this with a lot of people (will say she's attached at the hip to a guy she met 5 days prior.. , told me to call a guy I like "constantly") To me, this is a huge turn off. I like to be able to BREATHE with someone and not feel smothered.

How do I gracefully keep things friendly but not hang out with her unless I run into her? I don't want to be mean or rude but I don't think she takes subtle hints and I'm actually kind of scared of her at this point. However, she IS at least aquaintances with a good friend and I'd really rather not piss anyone off.

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tara t


Marc Jacobs

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i wonder what would happen if you talked to the friend you met her thru about it.  maybe she's just one of those people who you need to tell that you don't have time to do such and such and if you want to see her YOU will call HER.  also, maybe the friend had this same issue w/ ms. clingy before and there is a better less desperate side.  i say this because i have a friend who is a really good guy, but when he first meets you he tries way too hard to the point of annoying...  not the clingy annoying, just the "will you please shut up" kind of annoying.  but you have to get to know him first.  DH, myself and several other friends went thru the same stages with him. 

or just keep on ignoring her.  i think she'd get the picture after a few days/weeks of unreturned phone calls/texts/emails and whatnot.

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Suasoria


Chanel

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Posts: 3120
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Ugh. Ignoring someone like that is almost as much of a pain as dealing with them.

I wonder if part of the issue is the job thing - I doubt she'd be as relentless otherwise, and once she finds one, she can stop trying to "network" with you so much. However, you don't really have anything invested here, so you shouldn't lose sleep over avoiding her calls.

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