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Post Info TOPIC: What in the hell is WRONG with me?
gruiz


Kenneth Cole

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What in the hell is WRONG with me?
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I'm supposed to be planning a wedding. My parents gave us a good chunk of money, but probably only enough to cover half of this thing. I'm not planning an outrageous affair here either. I'm doing a lot of things myself, not having a band or DJ, not having a videographer, making our own invites and pretty much anything else we can do ourselves. My problem is that I don't want to go into debt over this wedding, because really at the end of the $20K, you've got nothing. I feel incredibly guilty for taking my parents money because they really don't have it to give. I think it came out of a loan or something, so they're also gaining debt because of me. I know it's tradition for the bride's parent's to chip in, but I'm so not into tradition and it doesn't make sense to me that they're paying for a bunch of strangers to eat a meal.

My other option is to just have a small ceremony with just family present...but that's not really what I or my parents or my fiance want. This is so difficult and I just want to cry because I've always envisioned having a great non-traditional wedding with all of my friends and family present, but it just doesn't seem possible. I've waited seven years for this engagement and now I'm like, why? It's not like I can do a wedding anyway.

I'm just really down in the dumps about this. I guess I'm not asking for advice or anything, I'm just so sad about the whole thing. The wedding industry is so nauseating to me right now. You absolutely can't NOT spend thousands and have any sort of decent occasion. Unless I sit 160 people down at Denny's for a round of GrandSlam breakfasts.

If this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, then why do I feel like such crap?


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Elle


Hermes

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I hear ya!  Try not to be depressed - this is supposed to be one of the happiest times in your life.  You just have to get creative, which it sounds like you have a good handle on.  Have you thought of postponing for an extra year to allow you to save and spread the costs out a bit?  What are the things that are taking the biggest chunk out of your 'budget'?  Maybe we can help brainstorm some ideas for you  . . . .

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
halleybird


Hermes

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I am so sorry...your parents sound like great people, though.


I hear you...but it's doable. My wedding was great (80-90 guests at a country club) and cost about $10-$12k when all was said and done. It was really hard, but not impossible. There are a lot of little things you could do...as LMonet said, maybe if you let us know what your "must haves" are, we can help.


Also, you've probably already thought of this, but what about a dessert or brunch reception? It means getting married a little earlier or later in the day, but they can be really cool and fun -- and they're a lot cheaper.



-- Edited by halleybird at 21:22, 2005-01-19

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"We live in an age where unnecessary things are our only necessities." --Oscar Wilde
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