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wetbandit42


Marc Jacobs

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Party/gift question
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My friend and I were having a discussion last night. Today we're going to a graduation party and we were talking about how much we were going to give her.

My friend thinks that you should acknowledge someone's accomplishments/birthday ONLY if they have a party. If they don't have a party, he sees no need to give them a card or gift. I feel like you should give a card, even if there is no party (only for close friends though, or friends you've given cards to in the past).

What do you guys do? Do you give people cards for their birthdays or graduations even if there is no party?


-- Edited by wetbandit42 at 14:34, 2008-06-07

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Suasoria


Chanel

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I think your friend is living in an alternate universe. Is he a cheapskate by nature, and just trying to cover it by inventing some personal ethic?

I was just talking to someone in my family about a relative's college graduation and how jazzed the family is about it, but they can't afford to throw a party or anything. It kind of sucks to think that people who might really need some cash to help pay off their loans or start a career aren't entitled to gifts because they can't spend the money to get people drunk.

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Kelly


Hermes

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What? I think that's crazy. I give gifts no matter if there is a party or not. *Especially* cards. He doesn't think people without a party are "entitled" to like $2 and a heartfelt message?

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ILoveChoo


Hermes

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I think it depends on your relationship with the person. For someone you know causally, saying it is fine, but for a close friend or relative at least a card is in order!

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wetbandit42


Marc Jacobs

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Suasoria wrote:

I think your friend is living in an alternate universe. Is he a cheapskate by nature, and just trying to cover it by inventing some personal ethic?


Both! The worst thing was (and this pissed me off so much!), he said to me, "Well, I would have gotten you a card and a gift, but you didn't have a party." furious He gave a friend $50 a week ago for her graduation, but I wasn't worth a $2 card apparently. 

Thanks ladies! I'm glad I'm right. I think a card is in order (and a gift in some situations), unless you don't know the person well/aren't close.

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blubirde


Chanel

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Giving gifts and/or cards has nothing to do with parties. If a person is close to you and you celebrate their bdays, graduations, etc., you get them a card and/or gift, period.

Of course there are situations where you get cards and gifts for people you wouldn't normally because they are having a party, but that's a totally different situation.

Giving gifts (including cards) is a thoughtful expression and has absolutely nothing to do with parties.

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