STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

MissMee · Kate Spade

Are there any Florida lawyers here?

FashionPrincess · Hermes

No info for ya... but is everything ok?

itsapinkthing · Coach

Hope everything is ok. Just a thought I know when I had to figure some things out in IL I went to the states department of family services, and they had info online. There was a lot of info about custody, support, and how to apply yourself for services. At least that start is much more affordable than a private lawyer, until I figured things out.

MissMee · Kate Spade

Everything's fine!! Sorry. Hubby and I are thinking seriously about FL, but I want to check on the laws there regarding custody since my oldest's father lives in TX and will probably be pissed that we might be moving again. I don't want to find out that, if we move, I could easily lose custody of my son or something. I need to find out what the age is for a child to be able to choose which parent he wants to live with. Here in MA, it's 18, so we don't have a problem. Don't know what the age is in FL or if it even matters.

Jahni · Dooney & Bourke

I'm not in Florida, but I do a little family law in Oklahoma...it's my understanding that a child doesn't have a legal right to choose which parent they want to live with, regardless of which state they are in. A child under the age of 18 is a legal incompetent, meaning they cannot make any legal decisions at all.

With that being said, the older a child is, the greater the amount of weight a Judge will give their opinion should your ex challenge custody in court...in other words, a Judge is more likely to listen to the wants of a 16 yr old than he is an 8 yr old. But just because it's what the child wants, doesn't mean it's what he/she will get. If a custody order has been rendered and is now being challenged the Judge will look to see if there has been a substantial change in the living environment, and if there has been, the Judge will consider whether that change is negative, as well as a slew of other issues before changing the original custody order.

hope this helps! i'm no expert but will help where i can...

MissMee · Kate Spade

Jahni wrote:

If a custody order has been rendered and is now being challenged the Judge will look to see if there has been a substantial change in the living environment, and if there has been, the Judge will consider whether that change is negative, as well as a slew of other issues before changing the original custody order.

This does help - Thanks! But when you say "substantial change in the living environment....." could that refer to the actual move? Or could that also be turned against us because we've moved several times within the past 7 years? The past 2 moves were within the same town, so there have been no changes. The last time my son changed schools was when he was in 1st grade (he's now in 4th) and he is doing very well in school and has actually greatly improved.

I just have a feeling his father will turn it into something like we're an unstable household because we move a lot and because we have 3 other children (he's explicitly told me he thinks it's "unfair" to our son that I keep "reproducing." Jerk.)

Is there anything I could do right now in the event that he gives us some shit down the road?

Jahni · Dooney & Bourke

In my experience "substantial change" wouldn't usually refer to the actual move, but more along the lines how the move affects your child...if he starts doing poorly in school, becomes depressed etc.

In most cases a substantial change would include drugs being introduced into the household, abuse, becoming homeless or financially unable to care for your children...

If I understand your previous post you're currently in Mass and your Ex is in Texas? Correct? I really don't know of what you could do now to prevent anything from happening down the road...if anything the move is a good thing because you're moving closer to Texas. So while he may raise claims of instability because of all the moves, as long as you can show that your children are not adversely affected by the moves and that moving to Florida is a good thing for your family then I think you're covered...From my experience it would be really unusual for a Judge to seperate a child from his sibilings (full or half) simply because the non custodial parent wants custody (as long as the child is well adjusted...and i'm sure you realize that well adjusted does not equal "happy with the situation").

Again, I'm not a Florida lawyer and only do a little bit of Family Law, so if you're still having feelings of doubt, I would highly suggest a consult with a Family Law specialist in Florida...with that being said, I'm still fairly confident that what you're doing is ok.

-- Edited by Jahni at 10:24, 2008-02-22